Real life molestation caught on camera
This blog post is about last year’s new year’s incident (2007) as well as this year’s (2008).
On New Year’s Eve, a Midday reporter Shadab Khan caught on camera a crowd of about sixty people surrounding a 
young girl and her boy-friend at the Gateway of India in Mumbai. The reporter got these pictures from a height -he was atop a police post trying to capture the spirit of the revellers. As the clock struck midnight the screaming girl was pawed and manhandled by the thugs surrounding her and her boy-friend was roughly pushed aside. In the melee her dress was torn and she fell down. One doesn’t know exactly how but the couple managed to extricate themselves from 
the crowd and run away. No police complaint was filed. Today, the Colaba Police is planning to undertake an investigation into the incident and has taken the pictures from the reporter.
Shadab Khan writes about how shocked he is at the incident and wonders how such a thing could happen in Mumbai. Even today the press is writing about how shocking the whole incident is. That only Delhi is supposedly notorious for this kind of public behavior.
Well, I think the press should wake up and speak to a few ladies who travel by public transport or have been caught in crowds. Only then they can shed the illusion that these things happen only in Delhi. Whether it is Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Pune or Calcutta, there are always cheap sex crazy elements lying in wait to molest women. Pornography, which is now freely available on the internet has just whetted their appetite.
Personal experiences
I have lived in all the cities mentioned above and have had the bad luck of being pawed in all the cities. True, my experiences in Delhi (I studied there) were the maximum (movie theatre, shop, roads, buses) but I have also been pawed in the Calcutta metro, in a Ganpati Visarjan (holy procession) on Pune’s Laxmi Road and in a crowded kirana (grocery) store in Bangalore! In Mumbai? Just once at a railway station while waiting for a local. In fact these are the only incidents that I remember. I am not even counting the incidents (if you can call them that) when men tried to touch or brush past in the hope of grabbing a feel. I am not even counting the incidents of the scores of men I have seen exposing themselves at railway stations, bus stations and once even on a hill where I had gone for a walk! And I don’t even wear sleeveless! I am considered a prude when it comes to dress-sense.
The sad truth is that every woman who travels daily by public transport has encountered perverts, and her dress doesn’t matter. Once when I was wearing a saree, a young boy came from behind and grabbed me. He was on a cycle.
All this often makes me long for a sexually promiscuous society so that these sick men can go and do it with willing women instead of bothering strangers.
Well, these incidents are in the past now. For the past ten years or so I have been moving around in a car or at the worst – in a rickshaw. So I am safe. I avoid crowded places and so do all the women I know.
Wonder why the press doesn’t know it? Surely they have women reporters? Or are we simply being hypocritical?
(Photos are sourced from Midday)
5th January: The police have arrested the guilty men, all teenagers residing in the slums of Ghakopar. You can find the details here in a Midday report. However, the girl has not come forward to register a complaint and therefore one wonders what action can be taken.
Also, more women have come forward and admitted to the problems they have had with roadside romeos. Thankfully the press covered this in detail today. This should hopefully lead to a public awareness campaign to educate people how terrible a woman feels when she is molested.
Later update: It has also come to light that the girl who was molested was an Indian American girl.
Another shameful incident took place on 26th September in Mumbai: Girls, some of them from Jai Hind College were molested near Wankhede Stadium on Marine Drive in Mumbai in the crowds when our cricket team was returning from the airport in an open bus. This was an open bus which the cricketers rode in and huge crowds thronged the roads on either side. An opportunity that molesters took.
This is the link:
The girls were molested very badly and apparently a lot more girls were molested and seen crying on the side of the road. Groups of men surrounded the girls and did whatever they could.
This sort of thing is a part and parcel of Indian society now and everyone should beware. No Indian city is safe. The police do nothing and give stupid statements like these things did not happen at one time. They always happened in India and always will unless these offenders are put behind bars for at least 10 years. Is that harsh punishment for these molesters? I don’t think so. No girl is safe in crowds in any city in India.
Update: 2nd January 2008. Another shameful incident which has been reported by the Hindustan Times today. The link is here. What happened was that two women were molested by a group of 4-5 men but a mob of 70-80 men was watching and did nothing. One woman was with her husband and there was another couple with them. They were coming out of the Marriot Hotel at around 1 a.m., when the incident happened. The fact that these people are sure that they will get away is proved by the fact that they do not care if they are caught on camera. The molesters of last year got away because apparently the girl didn’t come forward to complain. Even in the earlier incident, of the molestation which happened in the crowds cheering the cricket fans, the same thing happened. The girls did not complain. And the molesters got away. In any case, such incidents are very common in cities. The police do nothing. Molestation is considered a minor crime.
I know someone who was out on New Years Eve at Juhu. She was in a group of girls who were returning home from Juhu and their car was stuck in a traffic jam around midnight. They had gone to a restaurant just ten minutes walk from their home but chose to go in their car. They were stuck in the car for over an hour, but they did not step out. This girl tells me:
Hordes of men in huge groups were walking around on the road and we were amazed. There were all-male groups and we couldn’t understand what they were doing, just walking on the road!
It’s shocking the way the police commissioner has reacted to this incident. He says it’s a trivial one. Sure, we understand that the police cannot monitor each and every group that walks on the roads, but they can definitely stop people walking around in groups of 20-30! And they can take action against the molesters. Up till now the molesters have not been arrested even though they were caught on camera.
Jan 3rd. It’s been revealed that the couples were from California, United States. One couple had got married just the day before according to a tv news report and the other two were the man’s brother and cousin sister.
A second incident took place in Kochi, and this link was sent to me by a reader via a comment. You can see the video of the news report here. Apparently the molester was so brazen that he molested the 15 year old daughter of a foreign tourist as the tourist was being interviewed on TV and was recounting his wonderful experiences of India!
Pune Incident on New Years Eve 2008: There was another incident where a group of five to six men were allegedly clicking pictures of a UK based NRI woman, her spouse and another couple. When the couples objected, the drunk men attacked them. You can read about the incident here.
Incident at Kolkata (2008). The Times of India has reported:
When the clock struck midnight on New Year’s eve (, a horror story unfolded on Kolkata’s entertainment hot spot. Bikes took control of Park Street, the nervecentre of Christmas and New Year revelry. And the transition from 2007 to 2008 was not without girls being groped by unknown hands, humiliated, some shedding tears; their companions struggling to protect and console them…TOI had carried an investigative report on the previous year’s New Year’s eve where revellers were snapped molesting girls on Park Street. It prompted a bigger deployment of police force, but they could not stop the horror re-run…
Update: 19th February 2008. A foreigner was molested in the Gandhi Ashram in Ahmedabad yesterday. She was looking at pictures of India’s Freedom struggle when two drunk men entered, grabbed and kissed her. The staff managed to catch one of them, but the other escaped. What’s shocking is that no complaint is being filed! Read the story here.
Related Reading: Reasons and Solutions for Molestation
Tips to prevent eve-teasing and public molestation
The psychology of a rapist
How a poor attitude towards women can be changed
Teens in India are forced to keep their relationships a secret
Sad thing, shameless perverted person.
You are right, such thing every where happens, and definately ,Mumbai is not immune to such things.
People are trying to fight the menace. http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com/
Might sound sarcastic – but i think we should have a regular column in newspapers describing the plight of our women. After reading the stories repeatedly people who don’t think or talk about the problem might just start to do that.
I think your suggestion is excellent. Every single day we should have a woman write about her experience in a daily newspaper. Going to regional newspapers is important as one has to reach out to the masses. Television is also a very important medium. If a woman talks about how horrible she feels when she is treated as a sex object it might sensitize some men.
That alone wont do. Every father and mother should talk to their kids about this. We have to make the boys realize that girls are human beings too. Trying to make them learn that once they are men is going to be difficult.
But it seems that the activists are not reaching out to the rural poor. Or is it that we are not having enough visibility of their actions?
I think what the activists are doing is a drop in the ocean. In our country the status of women is low and that is why cases of molestation and rape are very high. That is also why women do not report the incidents. They know that they will be blamed. Even if a man passes a lewd mark, the first question in the mind of most people is: What was the woman wearing? What was she doing? What was she doing there? Why was she there at that time? Why was she alone? Did she talk to the man? Did she look at him?
Well, that’s life in India for you.
This is Why I support the DEATH Penalty. They should hang these guys who have no shame about thier Mothers.
Women please get your acts together and Show you are the strongest one.
You are future of India
Pictures of the accused should be broadcast in media with address and names…
SHAMELESS!! RATHER TRYING TO CALL POLICE OR SAVE GIRL BY ANY POSSIBLE MEANS THE REPORTER WAS BUSY RECORDING THE INCIDENT ON CAMERA…SHAME ON YOU, SHADAB KHAN.GIRLS CAN NEVER BE SAFE IN A COUNTRY WHERE PEOPLE LIKE SHADAB AND SOME HUMAN ANIMALS THRIVE…..
It was comforting to know that those thugs were rounded up. At least something is right about this system.
I am American and I have visited India 4 times. I’ve worked with many Indians and have been to the cities you mention more than once. I cannot understand why India is not able to move forward, why there is still such poverty, why there are so many places where one cannot drink the water, why the electricity is not reliable even in the biggest cities, why with the incredible treasures India has, the country cannot get its “act together.” Why is this? Such a fantastic country with such a rich heritage and diversity, brilliant scholars, thinkers, engineers, and religions. The center of enlightenment where the Buddha was born — yet such crudeness. Why — and why not?
@ jmiller
CORRUPTION AND CORRUPTED MINDS…
India is an enigma to most foreigners. If India has not moved ahead in terms of it’s infrastructure the massive population is partly to blame. The facilities cannot keep up with the population.
But why did India balloon out this much anyway? Lack of education for one. But why are there people in India who do not value education?
The answer lies in India’s history. The invasions, both the Mughal and the British left their mark. Some of it was good and some of it was bad.
I personally believe that India would have progressed far more if it wasn’t for the invasions – but then India would not have been ‘India’, it would have been several countries. Some of these countries would have fallen by the wayside, but some would have shone – maybe all would have shone. Tell me, is it a coincidence that some of the most backward states in India today (and those with the most myopic view of women) were the states that were the most mauled during the invasions?
Historians in India are terrified to bring into the open the terrible moral devastastion that ocurred because of the invasions – because religious issues are involved. Religion is a sensitive issue in India today. Apparently the truth is not important enough.
There are also some who feel that one should forget it and move on. Well, it’s taking time. Unless a nation understands itself how can it move on?
I think this event is very sad. It is sad for the woman who was molested, for the city it happened in (Mumbai) and also for entire Indian population. It would be foolish to say that such incidences dont happen in cities like Mumbai and it is a isolated incident. Dont women get raped in Mumbai, maybe the numbers are higher in Delhi but no women is completely safe in any city. I would also like to rebuke people who say its the girls fault. No matter what kind of clothes you wear or what make-up you wear or even what ag eyou are. It doesnt matter to a animal who just looks at a female as a object to abuse.
Dear Nita
This is a message from Belgium. I was quite shocked to read the article and saw the picture of the perverts, molestating the innocent lady and her boyfriend. It’s been on my mind for days. How the hell can this happen in 2007? How come all these men are dirty perverts? They should be all punished severely. If this is just allowed in those cities, and if men are just allowed to touch women as if they are their toys, then those cities have a huge problem. It can happen 1 time, but not a few times (Indian girl, Australian couple).
Cause who wishes to visit a place with dirty perverts, touching you, and the police is watching, and other women are watching too, and they find those things ‘normal’?
I hope they will start punishing those perverts and make men respect women, by education. And if even that won’t help, then what the hell are those guys?????
In our eyes, no human beings and not even animals behave like that.
I think it’s sad that tourists and everyone have to adapt, and change clothes, when the perverts are the ones who should be punished and stopped.
Heads off for your articles, you got my full support!!!!! Keep on writing like that.
It’s good for Indian women that the world knows what’s going on. So maybe tourists stay away from those cities, and the staying away of tourists might be a reason for the leaders of those places to stop the perverts.
In Belgium they would be sent such a perverts to psychiatric institution. How about building one at those places???
I don’t think those men act like that because of being poor. In Nepal, they are also poor, but most men are very respectfull to women. I can not even imagine that they would collect 60 friends to go bothering an innocent lady with her boyfriend.
Greetz
Girlpower rules
Hi Girlpower. Yes you are right – education is the only way to stop the perverts. I read a forum which has taken my article and they had a big discussion on this. They all agreed (both boys and girls) that education is the solution and it has to start at an early age. Instead – in India boys are taught at an early age that they are superior to women and in some cases they are taught to view women as sex objects.
It’s too deep a problem to be solved by campaigns, though they too help to create awareness. Every thing needs to be done to stop this eve-teasing menace.
And yes maybe the Indian government will wake up if this gets around the world. Maybe then they will wake up and police will be sympathetic if a woman complains that a man has brushed past her and touched her breast while doing so. Today the police will ignore such a complaint, women commuters will say forget it and the culprit will say it is an accident.
It is indeed shameful that there were so many men around that girl at the Gateway and not one came to rescue her!So you can imagine what it’s like for a brief and quick act of touching a breast.
Frankly it shames me terribly when a foreigner is molested in this country. They go back with such a poor impression and at times they become mentally disturbed. They are not used to it.
dear nita…
India benifited a lot with the invasions as it was exposed to a lot of other cultures and really please dont jump to conclusions that India dosent value education.
people are poor and have to send kids to work instead.
hi friend from belgieum,
A FRIEND OF MINE WENT TO YOUR COUNTRY AND was robbed of his camera.Now does that reflect an everyday reality of belgium.
Another was passed a racist remark in one of your public transport system.Is that something that happens always in your nation?
I am also shocked by your naive questions…This is an Isolated inscident and certainly in Mumbai its not a norm.Scores of working women in Mumbai will tell you that.
What we are seeing is mob psychology.Nothing more.
Dear friend from Belgium,
Why shouldnt the tourists not adapt themselves when we adapt ourselves as soon as we enter your country?.
If i come to your country in a turban and a lungi what would your reaction be?.
You have to respect the law of the land and its customs once you enter it.Whats wrong with that.If france wants all the muslims not to wear skull caps we as indians expect some particular type of clothing from you as you travel our countries.
Not to avoid perverts but to let people understand you better.
India is poor because for us poverty is ok but not moral corruption.
Ravikiran
I saw you left some remarks on my opinion, that I have written down here.
First: I am sorry for your friend that he get robbed and that another friend of yours passed a racist remark in public.
That can indeed happen in every country, and does certainly not reflect reality.
But what happened in Mumbai, it did not happen, as far as I remember, in Belgium or anywhere else. It’s not a normal thing to happen. Don’t just call it ‘mob psychology’. It’s pervert behaving.
It’s not normal this is happening.
Second: You might call me naive and whatsoever. I am never going to change my mind. These guys have no right to touch an innocent lady like that, no matter how she was dressed.
Also tourists may not be touched because they are dressed like this or like that. We are not coming to live in your country, we’re only there for a visit. Do you expect female tourist women to walk in sari’s, and cover their bodies?
I saw many Indians visiting Europe, and some of them still wear their sari’s and their tradition clothes. Everybody has to right to be dressed in his own dress-style. And no one has to right to touch someone or bug a lady. No one.
I do not need the perverts to understand me. No thank you. Don’t worry, I wont visit those places.
Fourth: I must be right, but I guess you’re a (conservative) man. I am not your friend, so do not call me ‘your friend from Belgium.’
Just think whatever you wish to think about my opinion. We’re all free in mind.
There are so much poor countries in the world, eg: Nepal. We have been there many many times, and never ever have I heared about tourist ladies getting bugged and touched by 60 men.
Tourist are sometimes being stolen there, maybe it might happen that a lady get raped, but 60 men trying to rape a woman: never heared of that story before.
They are also very poor in Nepal, so don’t blame poverty in India for this pervert behavior. The one to blame is the way boys are thought that they must be superior to ladies and that girls are worth zero. That’s I think the huge problem you are dealing with. No respect for women causes this behavior.
Greetz
Girlpower
So Nita and all ladies
I am with you, and I’ll come up for the rights of the women in the world.
You got my full support.
I do not disgust or look down upon your country, I only feel sad for you, ladies, that (I read so in the article) that this is happening to so many women.
I am not an extreme feministe, I am not an extremist. I am just feeling sad when the rights of women are being violated, and when I hear that women have to face this happenigs every day.
You got my support
Girlpower
such behaviour is becoming increasingly common in india, and the reason is a deadly cocktail of prudishness and promiscuity. sexual scenes in films are acceptable only if they project rape! it’s shocking for a couple to kiss on screen while the heroine’s sister has been gangraped since 1970 without any let-up. and while sexual attitudes have certainly become more liberal in the upper and middle classes, the underbelly of society – the guys who molested the girl at the Gateway – the workers and the drivers, cooks, sweepers, garbage collectors – are sexually frustrated as never before.
For that reason, I would never advise a female friend of mine to visit India without a strong male companion.
Also, strength talks here. It’s a nasty place if you’re weak, but very deferential if you are six foot four and have bulging biceps.
i totally agree wth the writer..a woman, irrespective of her age, size and shape, is not safe anywhere,be it home of the outer world..the traumatic experiences start frm a young age. the worst part is tht the scars remain in mind,the shock leaves u terrified for days to come…anf worst of all, somewhere u start feeling guilty abt it..esp witg people telling u to either ignore it or to keep mum…is this wat we call woman empowerment? But..u need to a male to terrify another male..and the problem is not jus a criminal one, its a social one and needs a lot of social sensitisation and almost revolutionising male mentality.
To Nita and Supporter of Girl Power,
I agree with you. That is one of the major reasons why I hardly have any connections with Indian Men (even from the upper-middle or middle class) although, I am myself an Indian. There is no reason for being proud of India since I am sure problems of rape, eve-teasing, molesting tourists and foreigners, caste-system, racism, poverty which have been prevailing in India since last 100 years and will probably never improve.
Nita,
back to your topic of British Rule, yes it was actually better sometimes I think and believe that perhaps it may had been better if they were still ruling us. Atleast there would be law and order and protection of each and every woman.
India, as a society needs to change in order to become a civilised society and set an example to the world instead of wining about its past.
Ravikiran,
No offense, but what happened to your friend happens everywhere and not just Belgium. Come on, first learn how to clean your own toilet, then ask Girlpower from Belgium to clean hers. When will that day come when tourists will be able to travel freely and peacefully in India without having fears of being robbed and raped and molested by a group of uneducated, pervert, good for nothing men who do not have respect for any women and view them only as sex objects? And tourists do not need to adapt their dressing styles since it is only for a visit. Not like some desperate Indian people wanting to live in other people’s countries without even making the minimum effort to adjust to their cultures.
the punishment for crimes like these should be life imprisonment without parole
when I was 8 years old I was raped by an older man in India but been molested as a teenager. See…how sick is that? I hate it how our guys act like they have never seen a girl their whole lives. Our culture itself is degrading to women. The thing is our country has a mentality that guys are aggressive and it is the girls duty to be chaste. I think parents and adults need to tell boys that girls have feelings too and to respect women. Our culture is not open…for example parents and adults dont talk honestly to their children about these matters. Teenagers copy nonsense from bollywood movies that make eve-teasing a joke and get wrong ideas from porn…
I am a mother of two young boys and my husband and I decided its never too early to teach them manners, how to respect women and will openly talk to them according to age appropriateness of course. For example, I give my boys chores so that they dont grow up with the mentality that housework is only womens work and they help around the house and pick up after themselves. I’m proud of them for that and I’m sure their future wives will thank me.
We told our boys about molestation. Even boys can get molested too. I told my young boys that is it wrong for others to touch them there and that they should tell mommy and daddy if it happens. I know this is long but when I was raped at 8, I was scared, I didnt know what it was and I didnt tell anyone becuz I thought I did something wrong. I wish somebody told me.
And while we are on the subject. We need to acknowledge that our country has a serious problem. I have gone to much poorer countries to do non-profit work. Those countries poverty, education is nothing compared to India. Its our messed up culture that has to change. PERIOD!
I have even been in areas that have absolutely no running water or electricity and in one village in China, people initially stared at me and my hubby because they have never seen foreigners before. Later they were accepting and treated us like people. But the whole time, I never felt threatened like how I would be if I was in India.
Yes, cameras get stolen, and when I was in London, somebody snatched my purse and laptop but I can live with that. And if some fool says a racist comment is something I can forget and move on. But 60-70 men trying to molest a foreign woman???? Thats disgusting and I have never heard of such a thing. I cant think of anything worse.
And for the ones with nationalistic pride they need to get over themselves. We need to recognize & admit we have a problem and start to change. I cant imagine the future of our country. In the future, Will foreigners visiting India be issued travel warnings of perverted nasty men?
True, there is a serious problem here. Its all rooted in a the fact that women are treated as sex objects.
I don’t think its just nationalistic pride that makes people deny this behavior. I think they think nothing is wrong with staring at women in that way or even treating them roughly (like eve teasing in bollywood movies is shown as courting). Its a complete lack of sensitivity. I have written an article on this blog about this here
Here some social workers turned the tables on the men and only then they understood how it feels.
I would first blame the parents or guardians of these idiots. It is from our parents that we learn what is gud and bad. If you take a survey on this, most of ther persons involving in these activities would be uneducated and coming from rural places. To avoid this in future, i think we need to increase the standard of education in rural places.
Any comments on this would be highly appreciated !!!
Lack of education may be a factor but these were city boys. The main thing as you said is upbringing where women are not respected in the home. These kind of boys come from homes where they see their mothers and sisters being treated as subhumans. Therefore its only a step further for them to molest women who are not their sisters and mothers. Its the same, they shout and ill treat the women in the family, force them to dress in a particular way, restrict their movements, monitor their behavior…and where outside women are ocncerned, these women are seen as sex objects without any feeling.
Hi,
Only if the women are courageous to open their tops and show everything to th staring person and give a shock treatment, only then this menance will stop.
It is the non verbal communication of the sex starved person so you have to deal with it.
Hello Nita
I feel very sorry for that girl & his boyfriend. I can not believe this can happen in India. This is not something you can think of a normal life in Mumbai so ” please don’t conclude that this happens everyday and every place in India”. This is just an isolated incidence. Isolated but shameful.
It doesn’t matter how educated people are, a large proportion of indian man population still think they are better then womens.
Indian families, till early 90s, used to be male dominated families as only man used to work and womens used to stay home and act as housewives. This is changing now and at a satisfactory rate. It is just opposite in Nepal, womens they run most of the businesses and they bring most of the money in the family. This is the main reason (but not the only reason) why man give respect to womens.
Don’t think that you can stop these things by educating these guys. What is really needed is strong Law enforcement. Indian law system has everything, if not to stop, at least punish those who gets involved in these kind of acts. Major problem is our law enforcement is worst. Police does not really have power and they lack resources and support from politicians.
Crimes against womens happen everywhere in the world. It is only 50 years, we got independence. It will take some time to improve this situation. Not every country was female friendly & great from the begining. People talk about USA, UK & European countries as big examples, please read these facts I am giving below. These lines are taken from website Women’s History in America. Don’t just read it, check the authenticity of each sentence. India was not like this. Please read this carefully:
- In Greek mythology, it was a woman, Pandora, who opened the forbidden box and brought plagues and unhappiness to mankind.
- Early Roman law described women as children, forever inferior to men.
- Early Christian theology perpetuated these views. St. Jerome, a 4th-century Latin father of the Christian church, said: “Woman is the gate of the devil, the path of wickedness, the sting of the serpent, in a word a perilous object.”
- Thomas Aquinas, the 13th-century Christian theologian, said that woman was “created to be man’s helpmeet, but her unique role is in conception . . . since for other purposes men would be better assisted by other men.”
- The attitude toward women in the East was at first more favorable. In ancient India, for example, women were not deprived of property rights or individual freedoms by marriage.
(until 1935, married women in England did not have the full right to own property)
- American Medical Association, founded in 1846, barred women from membership. It was only in 1915 the American Medical Association began to admit women members.
- Indira Gandhi was prime minister of India from 1966 to 1977 (19 years after independence) and from 1980 until her assassination in 1984. How many female presidents did USA had in past? (Not a single one)
I am not saying India is very good with Women rights but it is not true that we are not doing anything to improve the situation. It will take some time, strong determination and involvement from people. As you can understand it took so much time to so called great nations to provide womens what they actually deserve. India is making progress and I am sure with increasing involvement of womens in politics & other proffessional fields this progress will see a great improvement in coming few years.
Respect your mother, sisters & wife and it will be very easy to respect other womens
AT
Ofcourse not AT, these kind of things don’t happen…because local girls are careful not to go to such places! (btw, its been revealed that the molested girl was an Indian American who had no idea what happens at these kinds of places on new years eve). So if one goes to such places these things will happen…now these kind of men may not be a representative of a typical Indian male, but one thing is for sure – perverts head for places (packed crowds) where they can indulge in these kind of things. more opportunity and more anonymity.
This thread is running for almost 7 months now. wow!
I happened to look at some statistics here. I am in no way, repeat, I am NOT justifying crimes against women, but only trying to say that things are not quite as bad in India as the Western world wants to believe. Look at the numbers.
That said, I strongly believe that if our society opens up to natural sexual behaviors and not look at everything from -the-west-ruining-Indian-culture- frame, things would be much better. Giving sex education in school is step one.
Priyank, remember that most of the rapes and sexual molestation cases are not reported in India because of the stigma attached to it. They say the ones that are reported at the tip of the iceberg.
Also, when it comes to molestation then we win I am afraid. Gettng into a crowded packed bus in the west will not be such a problem as it is here. That is somethign no one can deny.
also i agree with you completely about this mentality of blaming the west. We have our own problems and responsible for them. Mostly if you see that some conservative elements keep raising the bogey of the west…I feel they are terrified that their wives and daughters will become impossible to bully if they go the way of the west! Mostly the west is vilified when it comes to the way women behave and dress. Remember that…its women who these west bashers want to control.
I personally feel that people who resort to such henious acts mostly are people from Lower classes and to some extent lower middle class, where women dont really have a respectable position. Partly due to their lack of education and male domination is quite common in those sections of the society. And women are just treated to be toys in such societies where, they are bound to their household work, raising kids, and their personal desires and dreams dont really matter to anyone…. Its only education that can be a solution to all this.. We dont really see things like these in western countries, because there women get a good share of freedom to think like they want and act like they want……. And most of them are educated as well………
But this isnt entirely true…Bcoz the spread of mms scandals etc shows how people derive Cheap pleasure out of such stuff…. And it isnt the work of the lower sections, coz a phone enabled with Mms facilites can only be possessed by a person with reasonable education and social position….. So, i think its high time that education (regd sexuality etc) should be stressed…….. Again, This might also lead to increase in the rates of Premarital Sex… So it should be a careful implementation……
I read the post and can’t help but comment.
It was very sad and deplorable act that had happened and I am really glad that the criminal was caught. If only our law enforcement could be more consistent.
Equal status of women in society, such a wonderful idea. But you know what, the history of humankind is littered with the examples that dominant group always preys upon the weak. And no-one gets what’s just without struggle and best of all deserving it.
Respect is never, never, never asked, rather it is earned. Who the hell will dare not to respect Indira Gandhi, while people may agree/disagree about her political and personal integrity? Or Kalpna Chawla or Mary Curie, or Indira Nooyi. I have never heard them screaming about women’s lib. How come I don’t see many feminists on top, while I do see a lot of women on top?
The reason why I make the above point is that, there will be nothing gained by asking men to change their behavior. The only way attitude of men will change is that women stop treating themselves as sex objects. I know not all women treat themselves as sex objects, but then not all men are perverts.
I work in US and I have seen countless examples in my corporate life till now when some good looking women took advantage of her looks to get assignments. What kind of message would it send to male counterparts? I know all women are not like this, but again not all men are MCPs. Please don’t get me wrong, in my corporate life I have lost to a woman who was really smarter and fought evenly with me. I respect her as a worthy contender, and do not resent it. While the women who did it by smiling and hanging out with sr. VP may have got the promotion but still do not get my respect and I find it hard to think of them purely as a colleague.
To the Belgian girlpower or whatever, I don’t know about Belgium, I have never been there, I am sure its a wonderful country, I know about USA, which, by the way is way more developed than Belgium (please refer to HDI data or other counts), I have lived here for years, and not just lived, but immersed myself in life here. One thing I can tell you. I have seen, heard many perverts that I ever saw in India. If you want to know just look at any American newspaper. Rapes happen here too. But you know what still women in America are better off than their Indian counterpart because they want it and are willing to make same sacrifices a man makes. They are not just crying for someone to come and hand something to them and believe me those kind of women (who don’t believe in their own ability and don’t work hard) are in not in much better shape than India. And by the way have you heard of women sex offenders, or women misusing law to get what they want (say fro example, dowry, sexual harassment). Don’t be naïve to say these don’t happen.
As we all know in the 400+ years of history US has yet to give a women head of state. India has given 2.
Equality means equality in the privileges as well as sacrifices.
Making laws and implementing them will not effect into lasting change until women themselves stop looking from physical point of view and start struggling on the same footing as men.
I have a feeling that many times man is not an enemy of women, rather its other women.
The status mismatch between man and women is not just Indian problem; rather it’s a world over phenomenon. I was wondering how did this happen at all, in almost all the cultures, developing many times secluded without each other’s influence. What went wrong? Someone please share your thoughts
Nita, one comment though, why is west Bengal that has less man centric and more women oriented (women have more say) that other states and yet is one of the most backward states, and Punjab is way more male dominant culture still is way more developed. Just a comment, I know there might be other reasons. My point here is that women empowerment is not the reason behind development; rather it may follow development.
Please do not try to divide the world on women/men line we have enough divisions already. People have and will get what they want and deserve.
KK, certainly I am glad to hear the ‘male’ point of view, but I am afraid I am using the word ‘male’ in inverted commas because certainly I do not believe that all men think like this. But if you read your comment you will see that it is you who have divided men and women into two separate groups. I do not agree with anything you said in fact…
but you are welcome to note down your point of view.
Also please remember the difference between womens lib and human rights. This is not about womens lib, but about human rights.
You have not just generalised and put men and women into categories you have also blamed women for being seen as sex objects! You said:
//The reason why I make the above point is that, there will be nothing gained by asking men to change their behavior. The only way attitude of men will change is that women stop treating themselves as sex objects.//
I cannot believe that you actually meant this? Are you saying that a woman is molested because her neighbour is a bar dancer?
By the way, I hope you know that in India women treat themselves LESS as sexual objects than those in many other countries, but there is MORE molestation. Its because women are considered inferior objects. If you are trying to say that CEO’s and PM’s are to be respected MORE than a poor woman who slogs in the field or brings up 4 children I am extremely disappointed KK. Perhaps you did not mean this. But one thing I will tell you, I do NOT believe that nonsense that glamour womens’ mags bring up, about women who work outside the home being somehow more worthy of respect! 90 percent of women in India WORK HARDER than men, get less nutrition, poor treatment. Please look at India as a whole, not the rich class. And believe me you will find less men molesters in the men who belong to the more affluent class (who probably work harder than their women) than in that section of society where the women work harder. In fact I say just the opposite. When women are not respected, they are treated like donkeys and asses, fed the crumbs, raped and beaten, and made to do the work while their husbands drink and make merry.
I can write more, but not right now. I am really too angry!
Nita,
I certainly appreciate your taking time to respond to my comment.
I definetely agree and feel exteremely bad about anything unjust that happens to anyone, be it male or female.
Nita, My point was not to justify the atrocities against women, rather it was to put my 2 cents on to he possible causes on to why there is a seeming male mindset of treating women as inferior.
I am not saying that a women should be molested because her neighbour is a prostitute. Even a prositute should not be molested. You said it very right and that exactly what I was saying, Its a matter of a criminal violating another human’s fundamental right.And he should and was bought to justice. Why are we generalising it. All men are not molesters (trust me, a huge huge majority isnt), and all women are not prostitutes.
I fail to understand where do u get the idea from my comment that I said women shoule not be respected. I said women, and for that matter any human being, must be respected for what he/she deserved. Honestly I respect a hard working laborer women a lot lot lot more than her drinking and bum husband. We were talking about a group and group mentality and dynamics not an indicvidual case. I have said that not all women nor men are like that.
Tell me one thing. How did we reach this state of affairs at all. Why do men do not respect women (if this is the case). And probaly you wuld agree this is largly the state of affairs worldwide. I am not saying this is right or just, I am just asking why do you think we reached this state, throughout history and throughout cultures. Who is to blame,and why.
I have gone through your other comments and this give me an indication of you being a rational and well thinking human being. Tell me one thing, In this world, throughout the whole history, has there been a single instance when stronger society/race/whatever-group gave weaker his/her due respect or place without struggle.
I would rather think feminist (by no means I am singling out anyone), would do a better thing by encouraging women to be stronger and have enough courage to take charge of their own lives than tellling men to change. This will be a fndamental change that, until reached, will leave status of women largly unchanged, no matter how many laws we make, no matter how many advertisements are played on TV.
Please stop blaming socity, society is a sum total of its members and women are not minority. Why not just get up and claim what is deserved instead of asking men to change behavious coz trust me they wont, history has proven so. People who lack courage to resist injustice are accessory to injustice.
Women are not considered inferior objects, many times they let themselves considered that. I do not know how can you say that indian women consider themselves as less of sex object than other countries. I am sure No women the world over Likes to think herself as sex object. I was just saying that I have seen it in india and world over women using her looks/sexual charm to get what she wants (many many women do that and if you say no to that I have nothing else to say to you). Wives do it to their husbannds, girlfirends do it to their boyfriends, using sex as a enticement and coercion tool, Please, I am not sayng all women or at all times, but I would say a vast majority.Now please be honest to yourself and say if I am not right. I menat that when some one uses sexual charm as a object to get something objctive he/she declares himself/herself a sexual object. Please think about it honestly without being angry. Dont you thing whenever a women does that Altough even then molestation doesnt become right. It is absolutely worng. I just said that its near impossible to change men strereotype of women in general unless use of sexual charms as objective tool is prevalent.
I think you know that in the past situation of women was not all that great in US as well, But it changed not because men were so great that they gave them their due. But beacuse women here have staked their claims on what is justly theirs and many times ruthlesslly snatched it. To the extent they are successful to that extent they have respect here.
I repeat again, respect is not given, it is earned. Many times it reuires lot of struggle and many times unfortunate distruction (say for example indian struggle for freedmm) but it has to be earned. Any section of society, which does not go out and fight for its right and respect it deserves, will be downtrodden and no law can ever change that. This is awful but that how it is.
Other than the above post that I just posted couple of minutes back, Just some points I thought I wolud just write, may not be very pertinent but do state need for treating criminals as criminals and not as men or women.
In within a week of marriage in 2002, Toronto-based electronics engineer Raghu Modi was told by his wife (a New Delhi resident) that she had married him for Visa and had no intention of terminating relationship with her paramour.
• After Modi refused to process the immigration formalities for his wife, she filed a “dowry” case against him and demanded Rs 26 lakh to “settle” the case. Unable to bear the harassment, Modi paid Rs 7 lakh to settle the case. Within a month, his wife married her paramour.
• New York-based Jaspreet’s wife — a registered medical practitioner — filed a “dowry” case against her husband and his entire family shortly after their marriage in 1998. Later, her family came up with a compensation demand of Rs one crore. Unable to bear the stress, Jaspreet’s father passed away in India, but neither Jaspreet nor his brothers were able to perform the last rites – as Interpol Red Corner Notices were pending against them. Jaspreet has been engaged in a labyrinthine process of litigation in Indian courts for the last eight years. Meanwhile, his wife has remarried in the US.
• Riyadh-based Iliyas Ahmed has a dowry case pending for his refusal to concede his wife Husna’s demand for bearing the entire expenses of her family. Husna’s family members in Bangalore have attacked his family home on several occasions and Illiyas has been unable to visit India.
• Shortly after Mandeep arrived back in Canada after his marriage, his wife Jasvinder deserted him after admitting that she had married him only for a visa. In accordance with the Canadian immigration laws, he provides financial support to his “vanished wife.”
These are samples of case studies collected with aims of presenting the converse side of the story of NRI marriages by ‘Rakshak’— an international organisation dedicated to elder abuse. ‘Rakshak’ works in close conjunction with 498a.org — leading international forum engaged in researching the impact of misuse of gender biased laws such as Section 498 A of the IPC.
The phenomenon of abandoned brides is one that has received huge media attention, but a new trend of “vanishing brides and abandoned grooms” has somehow escaped attention, said Dr Anupama Singh of ‘Rakshak.’
At a teleconferencing session on Thursday, several NRI men recounted stories of having been dumped by unscrupulous wives — who take advantage of gender-biased laws by filing false cases of domestic violence and dowry abuse to harass and extort money.
Statistics, Dr Singh said, speak for themselves: Against the number of 152 cases registered of “abandoned wives”, the number of cases of “abandoned grooms” is around 700. Also, the courts have declared 80 per cent men charged under Section 498-A innocent, she pointed out. Section 498-A of the IPC is a criminal law in which the wife and her family can charge any or all of the husband’s family for physical and mental cruelty.
KK, Well, certainly I am glad that you have not generalised this time. Yes, I did get the impression from your first comment that you had generalised…
but really when you ask that very complex question as to why women are not gettng the respect they deserve, its not a question I can answer. It is a very difficult one and I really need to read more about the subject.
In a way you are right, women should take things into their own hands…but I do not think men can abdicate responsibility.
And ofcourse I believe that the majority of men are NOT molesters! Its just a minority! But this minority is what creates the trouble. they head for the crowded places…anyway I do believe that these men need to be changed and counseled. I do not believe in lost cases…because we are talking of cheap molesters, not rapists.
You are talking about unscrupulous people which has nothing much to do with this post. But anyway I published it as you took so much trouble to write it.
Thanks for coming here KK. I may not agree with every point you have made but you have presented it well.
and hence i am a supporter of death penalties like here in saudi arabia. Behead some of those criminals in public and all the things will be alright in just 6 or 8 months…. also girls should not intermingle with men because there is a devil in man … all are beasts.
though i am a man but i know that devil is there always to put bad feelings in hearts of a man and hence it is my request to all my indian sisters to abstain from intermingling with men…. there should be no boy friends culture in our country great india.
Dear brother Ahmed, I assure you that the molesters are not boyfriends of the women. If anything, a boyfriend can be a protector. Just as some men are beasts, some men are divine. Just in case you are saying that women should not go out of the house at all, but should be imprisioned at home then I must write here that it is completely against our Indian culture.
Besides, did man not hunt in the deep dark jungle when the jungles were full of beasts? Did human beings sit at home and cower, hoping the beast didn’t exist?
In a similar manner, molesters can be punished and others can be tamed…cowering is not the answer. Yes, women should take precautions, like not going to dangerous places for example.
Aping the west and hence this……………..
this does not mean that i am favouring those drunken rowdies but i am saying the girls not to intermingle with men. There is no fun in celebrating new year. our new year celebrations should not end up like this. Why should we celebrate the new year…. all is a chance of drinking and molestation only by men…….women pls take care
Brother Ahmed, are you saying that western culture encourages men to molest women? I don’t agree at all. I think its our south asian culture which encourages that as oursociety is not open and pre marital sex is frowned upon. this increases frustration in men. the solution to this problem is in fact just the opposite of what you suggest. an open society and encouraging boys and girls to intermigle. once this happens, molestation will reduce as boys will find more girls they can have a good time with.
these incidents never happen in the west. please read my post on this blog about 23 ways to prevent molestation. it will explain to you how men here behave.
please get this straight. when girls are molested, its the fault of the men who do it, its not the fault of the women. women should go out with boys they like and these boys will protect them from the bad men.
I’m sorry that happnened to you, Indian girl – That must be one of the most painful experiences. I’m so glad you’re doing well, and that that is long past for you; it must have asked a lot of streght and courage from you.
Very often women are raped in the rich countryes, also. These things happen almost everywhere A LOT. Or at poor countryes, done by people from rich countryes, also. If you search well you can take the statiestieks from the internet. I’m also for fighting against it, of course. Maybe less often in being touched in public, yes.
Nita I apreciate your work. Thank you.
If you want to bring changes in India, then try it another way. The rich countryes are really not a good example at all. Yes I agree also: education is most defenetely the solution.
For some reason it is the science in which less energy and money is spent! Education is not what they are doing … not only learning technics and theories from books , science, mathematics.
So it is so funny, because when you say education, you’re thinking about something else. Because maybe for all cultures, earlier, education, that’s what it means, how to let somoene grow…the total human being. But certain countryes have forgotten that – and they call education, the school learning!
The problems of rape, pedophilie, molestation and abuse of women, is also in the West still in the beginning…
Yes, of course it is the fault of the men who do it, not the fault of the women.
How nice to be talking with people from so far away.
Regards
This note is to mention that just yesterday, some girls were molested on Marine Drive Mumbai in the crowds when our cricket team was returning from the airport.
This is the link:
They were molested very badly. Groups of men surrounded the girls and did whatever they could. This is a part and parcel of our society now and everyone should beware. The police do nothing and give stupid statements like these things did not happen at one time. They always happened in India and always will unless these offenders are put behind bars for at least 10 years. Harsh punishment for these molesters? I don’t think so.
Nita,
You choose a topic we can’t afford to ignore. What you say here occurs in all the major cities I’ve ever been to, and even in some small ones too.
They say you can judge the character of a person by how he behaves when alone, and I would add how he behaves when under the cover of a huge crowd.
PS I like your new template. I decided to switch to it as well. Very light and clean, easy to read.
Good it should be like this atleast some one shown how unsafe Mubai is. I have always been forced to accept by hooks & crooks that Mumbai is a safer place and I knew it was not, infact its a most unsafe place in India for girls.
Saurabh, This is molestation we are talking about, remember that. Not rape. When it comes to crowds, all cities in India will be about the same. Mumbai is actually slightly better than north indian cities. Thats the truth.
About safety for women, Mumbai is one of the safest metros in India. That is what people mean when they say Mumbai is safe…crimes like violence and rape are far less here as compared to say Delhi.
We forget, both men and women are made of same flesh and it is our belief that there is exitement in touching the others makes us feel so… mmm… May be we’ll evolve out of it… or… May be not….
The very fact that this article is your most popular shows that a lot of people actually clicked to see the pics..
I don’t buy it that so many clicked shocked by the news..
Anon, yes ofcourse. There is no doubt about it at all, people come to this post to get some kicks. In fact this was the reason that I almost thought of removing that Popular Posts widget from the sidebar…! – Nita.
Iam in no way condoning what happened to the girl. It is dreadful, girls are not safe in crowded places in India. I have slapped and yelled at some of them.
However, every society has its share of perverts in different guises …….as I have an American friend who was molested in the train in America. In America, I have seen high school boys molest as the girls giggle.. mostly the guys who are the “sport stars” get away with it. In fact a lot of it occurs under the cover of “dating”. The girls play along or do not realise it is wrong or do not know what to do. In an open society, their is pressure of dating and having a boy friend, so often girls allow themselves to be abused by their “boy friends”. As far as the statistics for that kind of a molestation go, it is mind boggling….
As for the solution in India, if some of these molesters are put behind bars as a detterent it should work. The surveilance cameras in trains and a support from the police, train guards, bus drivers, other sane people in the crowd could help spot the miscreants.
I am very suprised to learn that can be a problem in the spiritual India and to that degree. But when I think it through, it is probably not as supprising since it reminds me a perhaps somewhat parallel problem among Chinese people: gambling. Since I was a kid back in China, I heard once a while how gambling ruined a family. And as I am now living in the United States, I found Chinese people doing the same. A while ago, a coworker asked me why Chinese liked to gamble. I was unable to answer. And I have been totally helpless in locating its psychological root within Chinese culture, none of the traditions seems to encourage gambling.
So I can only guess: as a culture grows, it overpowers its people and becomes a tynany. And people’s natural humanity tries to escape from it. China’s society is about order and harmony, gambling is about randomness and chance, seems like a natural escape from over-order and over-harmony. And in the United States, with a surface freedom, the society is in fact very alienating and rigid (You may not believe, but Indians lived and worked in the United States long enough know that), and there are lots of crazy people! Many of them are not really crazy, they pretend to be so in order to have some interaction with you in order to escape from their loniness!! I myself have had times of such encounters. Other examples could include the rather “unhealthy” sex culture in UK ( I heard that from a movie, assuming it is true) and the “Kinkiness” in Japan’s society. If all these are indeed nature’s rebel against man-made culture, it may help to explain why they are so difficult to overcome and why they are usually non-beautiful.
But my theory seems over-simplfying even to me …
@guqin:
Welcome
You have definitely tried to uncover the core reason for an evil in society and you are the first one to do so. You are right, we need to look into the deep rooted causes for this aberrant behavior which is so much against the indegenous culture.
Actually in India we are an amorous people, and always have been. Traditionally, in India we had a fairly free erotic culture and sex was not considered dirty or evil…that came values brought by the invaders. We have unfortunately absorbed these values and our society has become a repressed one. There is no way that a boy and girl can meet and satisfy their normal human desires…to do so they have to hide their relationship, at least in most cases. Plus early marriages are not out, because of modern society. So all this leads to immense frustration where even young men of 25 have no chance to have a relationship with a woman. This leads to two things…a completely lack of understanding of women and their feelings and a tendency to see women as sex objects.
there are other complicated factors too like pornography, another import from the west. And then combine all these factors that the status of women in India is lower than that of men and has always been so and you get a dangerous combination…
I guess I have not addressed all the factors here as the issue is complicated.
One of my friend carries a pin with her. So every time such people try to brush against her body or hands ( while travelling on bus ) she wud just dig the pin right through his hand !!!!
She says many of them wont even utter a word and would just move away !
May be you gals should try this !
Nita- The post was sickening not because the subject it reported but that it reflected the sad and depressing reality for about 500 million girls, women living in India. Had it been some small country I could sigh in relief and hope the rest of us could bully that small society into civilization. But not here. No Exit.
I don’t want to say a lot after so many comments have already made some valid points and observations. But YOU HIT THE BULL’S EYE when you said that the things would have been much better if Indian society was more ”promiscuous”. I think the liberal, open-minded, tolerant, free are the phrases you should have used. It is a sad irony that conservative Indian parents build a conservative society that actually turns their own progeny into monsters (men) and victims (women).
Some Indian men seemed very offended by ”western” men and women being shocked at this post. If they do not like ”western” or liberal society that has equal freedom and dignity for both men and women then the other option is to turn India into some ultra orthodox society like Saudi Arabia. At least in that society women would not be molested, manhandled in public places by hoodlums. Besides, if theres still are some molesters in that society they will receive harsh punishments like getting stoned to death in public places or mutilation and dismemberment of body parts. This society sounds more logical and humane to me than the one that exists now in India.
emberglow, I agree with you whole-heartedly. there are a lot of bad elements in the society who are just waiting to molest.
I always say that how a woman dresses in a society speaks a lot about the attitude of the men and one is talking of the lowest common denominator. It’s really sad indictment on any society that unless a woman covers herself up she is not safe.
In any case in India all the men wear western clothes and the woman are ’supposed’ to wear Indian clothes! funnily the real indian clothes are more revealing!! a sari for instance reveals the midriff. but inspite of that anything ‘western’ is still not liked by a lot of people here.
I too feel that molesters should be severely punished!
Anyway, we can’t go the saudi arabia way because intrinsic to indian culture is eroticism, and love and our native clothes are quite revealing, specially in western and south india. so covering a woman is actually going against our very culture so it shouldn’t happen. these sick men should be punished! that’s the better solution. and also I feel as the status of women rises slowly things will improve.
Hi again Nita- I just wished to mention a few more things. Eroticism is intrinsic to any culture really, even the Muslim ones.
And there are countries and societies in the world where women can wear ”revealing” clothes and still be harassed, discriminated, molested etc. I digress but I must mention that I was reading about your influential Bollywood actress who was involved in some on stage kissing incident in India with Richard Gere and she went through hell. Even a rich and influential woman in India is bullied by the mobs, society, police, judiciary; everyone from hoodlums to highly educated people. That’s truly sad.
The real ”girl power” or women’s empowerment would be achieved when they’re completely the masters of their own fate, economically independent and free, can actually share and take part in political power (and processes) without the interference of any males in their life. This all collectively would be true freedom.
But of course, this will take some time, it seems.
You mentioned Shilpa Shetty. That issue has another angle to it. Shilpa is a celebrity and therefore there are people who latched on to that to gain publicity. If she was an ordinary woman people would have ignored it. So I would say that this happened to her because of her fame…but usually the rich here are protected. It’s the poor and the middle class
Indian woman who is harassed, molested etc. Partly because she uses crowded public transport, gets caught in crowds. Also the maximum number of women who are raped in India are poor. The culprits know that a rich and influential woman could get them into trouble.
Nita,
My heart breaks for the girls. I agree with you 100%. What those men do must be seen as a true violation. If the police had been violated, raped in the same way, I’m sure the perpetrators would be behind bars within the hour. It’s a matter of empathy and compassion, seeing the girls as whole human beings, not half-formed things populating the world.
@mariacristina:
Thanks Christine for your thoughts on this. you are right, that empathy is lacking totally. We in India are still at a stage where women are seen as sex objects by the lowest common denominator. the fact that women have a heart, a soul and a brain is secondary.
similar kind of thing happens here In M.G. Road, Bangalore on each new year eve.
I thought Mumbai is safe! Now, I will think twice before going to any such events with family..
Mumbai is quite safe, safer than most Indian cities. Actually what I wrote applies to most places in India. – Nita.
Moral fabric of the nation has been shattered because of masses shifting out of their ancestral places and who have become faceless to do such things.
I think some where we are also responsible for such molestation.On the 31st December many are in drunken condition so we should not wear such dresses which will attract others to you. & the people will do rubbish things because they were not in their proper mental condition.
Sapna, it is best not to go to such places. Women even in sarees and Indian types of dresses are felt up and molested on these occasions. It’s the cheap people in the crowds who do these type of things, and a piece of cloth doesn’t stop them. They do it because they are anonymous and they get the opportunity. – Nita.
I AM AGREE TO YOU,BUT DRESS CODE IS AN IMPORTNT FACTOR BEHIND MOLESTATION.MOLESTATION CAN BE DONE ANY WHERE EVEN AT YOUR DOOR.MOLESTATION CAN BE STOPPED ONLY WHEN MEN START GIVING RESPECT TO WOMENS IN ANY FACE,AT ANY COST
Sapna, if that was the case then there should be the maximum molestation in western countries…right?? But molestation there is very rare. Men there are used to seeing women like that and also sexual frustration is not common.
The sickness is in the mind of the perpretrator, not in the victim’s dress code. the answer is that more women should dress scantily so that men get used to it. Tthe human body is not something to be ashamed of and those who say that it is to be hidden are against Indian culture because our Hindu culture says the female form is beautiful and not to be hidden away. Please read up on this…have you seen the carvings on our temples?
At the same time I say that one has to be careful…because when goes to a criminally infested or dangerous area, does one show one’s jewellery? No!!
I think the common (wo)man also plays her part in the things that happen nowadays. Not trying to justify it and I also feel ashamed for it but occasionally, I find it difficult to stop myself stealing a peak at the plunging necklines and innerwear shows. If the policy is “if you have it flaunt it!” you’ll also find people with “If you see it, paw it!”
As for your comparison with the western world, if you look at the adultry, divorce and teenage pregnancy numbers from there, I am sure you’ll agree that we are doing much better.
The temple carvings were with a purpose dear. Today, our bunch of illiterate politicians are protesting against sex education in schools under the culture banner – the temple carvings you mention were text books for the same subject. Also ask yourself – do you find it in every monument or temple?
Agreed that the female form is the ultimate creation of god – but society & social rules differ to that. If everyone insists on dressing scantily, we’ll only end up in stone age!!
On the other hand, I find Indian dresses (and beauties) much more intoxicating because the dresses reaveal enough to kindle the imagination of the beholder.
Raman, you say:
//if you look at the adultry, divorce and teenage pregnancy numbers from there, I am sure you’ll agree that we are doing much better.//
All human beings are similar in their sex urges. Here we have child marriage. So if you look at underage pregnancy, we beat the west anyday! Worse, because the state is not bothered. As for adultery, you think it’s less in India? I am amazed!! It is such an astounding statement you made…the problem is that here it’s all hidden! The few good guys believe it doesn’t exist, but it’s everywhere. It’s much more rampant here, because we don’t divorce! And the reason Indians don’t divorce is not because they are happy, not always. You can read about it (and others’ comments) here.
And well, if you say the erotic paintings are text books in full public view, that says something about our lack of hypocrisy and acceptance that sex is a normal thing.
And if men here cannot resist staring at a scantily clad woman, it’s natural. They are not used to it and you have actually supported my point. And no, I do not think we will end up in the stone age if people here dress according to the weather. At least I don’t see the west in the stone age today.
And frankly if a man ‘paws’ as you put it, I think it’s disgusting and there is no excuse for it. All men do not do that.
I accept there absolutely is no excuse for pawing – but when you call the instinct natural, why critisize the action?
I will choose to disagree with you on the similarity of sex urges part – i believe the urge varies with exposure after a certain level.
Child Marriage, interestingly, is a much misunderstood concept. My paternal grandparents were 14 & 8 when they got married and my grandmother had her first chile probably by 12. She led a hale & hearty life till the age of 72 (when she passed away without any medical complications whatsoever) and gave birth to a further 8 children. All these children remember being very close to their mother and remembering her more as friend than a mother. When they talk about the camaradrie my grandma shared with my grandpa, we often have tears swelling in our eyes. She knew his every movement, every reaction & every thought. They hardly disagreed, leave alone fighting. Both were inseperable for the rest of their lives.
I think that is an astounding achivement (to live together for 50+ years without any misunderstandings) compared to what is happening today. Seriously, i have seen couple fight over the restaurant name where they want to have their dinner!
The problem was never with child marriage – in fact it was a blessing as the couple had more time to devote to each other, play & study with each other & grow with each other. I would blame the quality & quantity of food that most children eat these days to most of the issues related to child birth. I am sure child marriage numbers in India is not high enough to beat the west’s teenage prgnancies – i’ll look for numbers, if that’s what will convince you. I am not talking about the child abuse part though.
Indian adultry, though hidden majorly is much less than the west. In fact, some of the “developed” nations and “broad-minded”/”forward minded” thinkers have gone on record to say that “no strings attached sex” may well be a scale to measure the development of a civilization. I am sure you don’t agree with it since as an Indian, you would have been taught about certain issues & you will have your own ethics & morality. Even if it is hidden, I do not mind as long as it isn’t as rampant & enticing as in the west. I remember an aunt from US telling me that mom had to secretly drop the pill in their teenage daughters’ milk so as to avoid an unwarranted preganancy.
I read the replies to your post on divorces and I accept the fact that different people would have different opinions on the same and no opinion may be right or wrong. There may have been issues in marriage but divorce (from what I have observed & learnt in the 25 years of my brief existance) is the last resort. I mean I haven’t heard of any one in India apply for divorce on the grounds that “the sex isn’t interesting anymore” or “he’s not shifting to a home closer to my office”. Predominantly, divorce reason is physical abuse.
I said paintings & sculptures are textbooks which you have chosen to accept – you have clearly ignored when I mentioned the fact that not all the temples/monumnets/structures in India are “sexually inclined”. Which, in other words, means not every text book needs to be a playboy. It was clearly accepted that sex was a natural thing and in fact, to a large extent spirituality has also been attached to the same. However, what is meant to be discussed in hushed tones must be kept that way – shouting from roof tops will never solve the purpose.
Dressing according to the weather is definitely an intersting concept since the saree has internationally been acknowledge to be both airy & seductive. May be there is a messgae there. Instead people choose to wear jeans (a cloth of nature that just doesn’t fit the logic in a tropical country like India) and then wear a halter top because it is too hot!
West’s stone age may not be the same as the stone age as in the past – but given the number of school firings, divorce rates, muggings, war, unemployment, racism & poverty, it is just a different type of stone age. Today, I am really proud of the fact that if my sister was misbehaved with in a best bus, I can count on the support 10 people – i am not sure I can say the same for the “tube of NY”
A lot of people associate freedom to clothes – the idea is to wear anything not nothing I hope.
Raman I have never said that the instinct to paw is natural, I said it’s disgusting and sick and shows a criminal type of mind. I said the desire to look is natural and any decent man will know it’s wrong to force himself on anybody.
About your other points I cannot say I agree with you…but then yours is a different viewpoint and ofcourse everyone is entitled to their own views. I wish I could answer your points in detail, but the problem is that my pc is not working and am writing from a borrowed computer. Also, I am in a holiday mood. Happy New Year!
My dear, you got me all wrong – I know you did not say pawing is natural – you said it is natural for men to stare at scantily clad women – i am taking it a bit ahead and I am saying, because they are not used to the sight, they end up using their hands. It, by no means is justified, correct or even remotely human – but understand that the action is natural. The ability and the action of controlling one’s natural instinct may not be common.
I am sorry for your PC and hope it’ll work gr8 in 2008 – you are doing stellar work and the PC shouldn’t be standing in the way. My hearfelt wishes to you & your family too. May this new year bring peace, happiness & prosperity.
Hope you found some truth in my words.
Hav fun!!!
Couldn’t resist posting a comment. I was witness to lewd behaviour in bangalore brigade road today(new year’s eve). It was a distressing sight to say the least. I didn’t expect this in my city. I’m ashamed that people have the definition of celebration as molestation. I wish I had a cam to capture it all. Distressing. It will take me sometime to forget this. But I’ve vowed never to be part of such a celebration again!
its a real plight seeing the condition of women im monedrnised times like today.even today several such sights are witnessed in the newspaper.the rootcause of it all is the repreesed sexual energy and viewing sex as a taboo.these guys who indulge in such malicious behaviour are jealous and sexually frustrated.they have no proper money no career to speak of and on top of all no women in their life.when i went to states or united kingdom i saw that all these western teenagers or men within the age group of 20-28 have had multiple relationships and have understood all the aspects of a woman.whereas the same men ie asians of the same age just wonder looking at them thinking what wrong have they done no to be blessed even with a single women in their life.infact nearly 60 percent of indian men age group 20-28 ave not had a single kissing experience.but thats not the same with the indian women .they have enjoyed that experience .for men in india its the survival of the fittest.so seeing a woman intheir vicinity beautiful and dressed classy is like discovering gold on a deserted island.their physical urges overcome their thinking powerwhich leads to total dire straits.believe me its sad that majrity of the men out there marry so that they can have regular sex and thats the reason why women are viewed as sexual objects.women might think education or moral policing can control it.but mark my works no education or moral policing or strict enforcement can change this.in india where nearly 60 percent of men lose their virginity while in their 30s when their testosterone levels has declined is only going to contribute toward more eve teasing or rape.these incidents can only change if every man out there has got equal opportunity.but in an mass country like india and its strict laws regarding sexual conduct we are only going to witness more rape and eve teasing.its sad but it will never stop
Kumar PV
Yesterday Mumbai witnessed yet another shameful act. I am not sure whether any city in India is safe for our women.
NOT SURPRISING!
WELL! WHY TO GO OUTSIDE HOME LATE NIGHT IN CITIES LIKE MUMBAI. ENJOY TILL 9 PM AND THEN COME TO HOME AND THEN ENJOY THE LAST EVE OF THE YEAR WITH FAMILY MEMBERS!
THATS THE SIMPLEST SOLUTION!
Here’s another case of molestation which is not surprising at all :
broadbandindiatimes video
Thanks wishtobeanon, I will add this incident to the main post.
Dear Nita,
Being a youngster,born and brought up in India,This new year is very sad and I feel ashamed of being an Indian for the first time,because of the animals living in this country.I have traveled throughout India and the United States,and the reason of India being underdeveloped,even having produced the best talent pool in all the fields,is the attitude and wrong view about sex.May be the great religions grew here,had good view,but they were misinterpreted and women were always seen as a material for pleasure.India once considered women as equally respected as men but the modern day citizens and even officials say that its always better that women spend their life at home itself.This is the soceity that bend their eyebrows wen w woman wear modern dress or go for a date.You Indians boast about your morality and family values.Is morality a thing that exists only in ur home?Indians even dont talk about sex in public and no proper sex education is provided here.Do u think the narrow religious idiots still believing in SATI and DEVADASI system(some RSS/VHP leaders still support it all!!!) will ever correct themselves?
Let us hope that the future generation at least learn to enjoy life and understand the meaning of being gifted with sexuality rather than being envy at couples and trying to snatch what they never get chance to hold.
I am really sad,and feel sorry for the women.
@ Raphael Alwin Kalathil:
Yes, it’s sick isn’t it that some men feel that women should remain at home, that is the reason for this sickness and disease in our society. The more women lock themselves away the more mentally diseased the men will become, diseased from a lack of seeing women and having sex. Rape and molestation will keep increasing.
The sickness in our society is evident in our dress sense. women are expected to wear indian clothes while the men romp around in western dress!
Also there are those who feel that women dress to please/displease the men. What they fail to understand that women like to dress for comfort, according to the weather. that women are human beings and not sex objects is what these molesters do not understand.
Nita,
Thanks for giving the tips to women,especially foreign women (in the other post )who know nothing about the psyche of Indian men.
Though I am an Indian guy,I feel terribly ashamed of the attitude of my countrymen.Indian men are among the most shameless creatures on earth.You have compared the attitude of men towards women in India and Tanzania.I think there would be very few countries on earth where men have such a disgusting view of women.
I would advise foreign women to think thrice before they travel alone to India.If you must,it would be better to travel in large groups and take precautions in crowded places.Believe me,’eve-teasing’ is a very mild term for what really goes on here.Though some cities may be better than others,no place is really free from nasty men.
Raman,
//…The ability and the action of controlling one’s natural instinct may not be common…//
I thought that controlling one’s (base) instincts was what “being civilised” was all about.
the degenerates should be shot…it is our constant inaction that allows such incidents to repeat itself…only if examples are made of the culprits and the fear of dire consequences be instilled in the mindsets of the millions of frustrated men; can we then hope to see some change in the plight of our women…
failing which we will all slip further into decadence….
wat happend was shamefull n unwanted forevr! sure! it can b corrected over years not jus overnite… but fro den? y cant u women adapt? i know u hav ur own rights and fredom to do watever u want. n tht s true u shud hav. but wen da men r like dis perverts and the whole society blames women for any such incidents then dont u think u shud also change a bit? when u cant help using ur freedom of dressing wen such perverts r around be carefull nexttime! stop wearing sumthin wich provokes sick perverts around. even fully dressedd women might get molested here in india.. ya for tht fite back.!! shout hit kick do wat al u can.. insted of wating for govt n police to do sumthing at tht situation!! insted of siiting here n discussing situation n go n raise ur voices so tht whole society can hear!!
sad to be born as women in india for now? hope u get good days in future
Hello,
I am an American women with an Passion to reach out to Women abroad so we can unite to stop all of this caios with the abuse and rape of our body’s.I am also a Rape Survivor but I wasn’t always, for a long time I was a Victim and it wasn’t until My Husband helped me threw what happend and never made me feel how the Perp’s wanted to make me belive I was, I have 3 son’s that are my joy and soul my first is from that Event, I wouldn’t change a moment of that time or I would not have the GIFT OF HIS LIFE, but The people responsible for the action are the same kind of Maniacs running around today in India Groaping Women and Young Girls, Sick Twisted Animals they are.So Ladys we need to Start Bringing Shame Back.These kind of weak, sick ,angry pieces of trash have never faced Shame because they force the victim into actually believing it was her fault, when it’s the pig who came to cause the trouble in the first place.I understand that in other Cultures it’s not so easy to Stand up and scream for your self because I feel like alot of foriegn women are so used to never complaining because if they do they get beat or raped from there husband or in-laws or who ever wants to put the d- – - DOWN THAT DAY, HUH?Who decided that these womens voices didn’t mean s- – -? i BELIEVE IF WE ALL STAND UP TOGETHER AS WOMEN, WE ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!In fact I know this, I belive it’s going to have to be that the womwn of the world that are Free today Have to Stand up so that the Sing’s , sapna’s ,vu’s,salley’s , nadia’s of the world can be free from the Bonds that say you are nothing and your body is mine to do what I please with, I don’t think so,IT NEEDS TO STOP!!!! i BEG YOU TO STAND UP AND SAY NP MOREand since I am held by those Bonds I will do Everything in my Power as a Women First and an American 2nd to dedicate myself to help change this, if we are together as women we can’t just be mowed over, They can’t Rape and Molest us all.
Meg Straight- USA
Media has achieved what it wanted!! I am appalled at the amount of hate that has been generated due to some irresponsible media behaviour. Guys, we need to leave the emotions out and look at the issue at hand.
If what happened was sad, the way it is being analysed is even worse.
And dear Meg, my girlfriend tells me that the Ladies compartment in a Mumbai local is even worse than the men’s.
Prevention is better than cure.
Dear Vivek, Civilisation sounds great on Paper. But it is a mixture of exposure, experiences & education that leads to civilisation – an avg. mumbai kid is exposed to couples committing lewd acts in public (BKC, Backbay Reclamation, Marine Drive & every park and beach in the city), experiences unwarranted, unprotected sex with prostitutes at a tender age and is “educated” only through porno films, not to mention the avg. remix videos and hindi movie heroines. How do expect people to be civilised? Doesn’t civilised, incidentally also mean decreased adultry & greed? We, the supposedly better off, cannot keep our hands & mouths tied – what do you expect from a youth from Dharavi who lives in a 10 by 10 and has had the opportunity to see his parents making out since the age of 3? we are quite far away from civilisation and demanding the same, suddenly, does not make any sense.
Its quite true,, the Indian male is actually sexually frustrated,, to understand the metro male psyche,,I I dont know about Mumbai but Delhi is a metro which inbibes a lot of migrant labour, unskilled, semi skilled and skilled labour especially for construction and infrastructure projects , who come from neighbouring states.. which have been traditionally a male dominated one,, these are the people looking for release from their hard lives ,, and New Year, Holi, Diwali are the few days when they get this release,, so they drink hard and roam around … and then the mob psychology takes over,, when they see a prey ,, yes thats what I would call a hapless girl who finds herself in such a situation.
The Indian male has always been a sexually frustrated one,, like Kumar says above ,, hell I myself didnt have a g.f till I was 24 ,, never kissed till I was 25,, and lost my cherry at 28 heh heh ,,, but thats the way it is for most of us Indian guys,, and please dont blame pornography for this,, i think the fact that Indian govt’s draconian censors also have to open up,, legal porn would be some sort of release, and also legalising prostitution,, govt can earn some revenues too but taxing,, giving health and welfare sops to the sex workers, guess I am suggesting something very radical but then I think we need to start thinking out of the box…
We should also start thinking of Pepper spray cans,, they prove very effective ,,, i think every girl in india should carry one,,
Amlan, Raman and Dear Vivek,
I don’t think sexual frustration is the major cause of rape. People in USA (where I am now) are open with sexuality, in high school or even middle school, but sex related crimes are still very high in that country. I think unnatural civilization is the reason, SINCE SEX IS NATURAL. And unfortunately, almost all civilizations are unnatural ( Yes, I dare to make this conclusion. ). So in USA, people’s openness and early sexual engagement don’t help since its sex culture is a very unhealthy one (just look at the hollywood movies).
In China, there is a small, delicate sub-civilization called Moso, which is a women-centered society (close observation will show that Moso is much nearer the ideals of Daoism (about being “natural”) than the major Han culture that invented Daoism), and they have no sex related crimes, they don’t even have the word “rape” in their language. This is because their civilization is a more natural one. They don’t need police or pepper spray, or even reminders. (Unfortunately, as westernization closes in, bad signs are showing up now.)
Civilization is like clothing underneath which there is the naked body.
As to Meg from USA, her reaction is typically western-American (war), I have the greatest sympathy and respect for her personally, but I don’t think her idea (though may be helpful in short term) will work in long run, since it doesn’t change people’s heart. New laws, more policing, more oganizations will come up, but people stay the same. A sort like racism in US, people just don’t say it out loud, but are still racist in heart, so people are still divided, as, the same aproach in handling this issue would make men and women bitter enimies to each other, at the end, women may still loose. Today, my co-workers (both women) were talking about how much they liked Harrison Ford’s “Blade Runner”. I myself found that movie very offensive. There were at least two scenes in which a big hairy man holding a big gun shooting a half-naked woman to death. And the camera work seemed to glorify it. So you see, if this disgusting US culture doesn’t change at all, and with which even women enjoy the celebration of the torture of women, how meaningful these “stand up” “all free women united” will be?
In all the media outcry against the molestation declaring it as the shameful act by the country toward its women, I wonder where our “Moral Policemen” are.?
they were busy ransacking and destroying gift shops on valentines day, explained to the media on how it hurts our culture when couples hug in parks. WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
guqin, I am with you on that. In fact, frustration may hardly lead to commit such acts since to commit these acts one needs a high level of foolhardiness (courage is a wrong word) and that more often stems from similar experiences or group behavioural tendancies.
Guquin,
I am grateful for the information about the Moso. I found it very educative.
Your pithy definition of civilisation, too, is interesting, although I would not myself use it. To me, clothing, like civilisation itself, is determined by a very complex set of governing circumstances, which include aesthetics, ego, spirituality, expression, identity, sexuality, response to environment and a number of other factors. It is both the body and its garb.
However, I am intrigued by my inclusion in the trinity chosen for your epistolary attention, and that too with the additional appellation “Dear”, which you apparently do not consider the other two worth extending to.
Life is, according to our great and ancient oriental philosophies, an unending search for truth. But its inevitable brevity demands that our quests to unravel its mysteries be focussed on larger truths than puzzling out why a singular fellow being perceives one in a particular way. I wait for enlightenment.
In veneration and humility,
Vivek
I got interested in the Mosuo also called Moso after reading the above account and looked up Wikipedia among others for the same ,, and was pleasantly surprised to find Tibetan elements in the Mosuo sect, as I myself have been closely associated with the tibetan movement in india for sometime and have a lot of tibetan friends,, now here is what wikipedia says,,
wikipedia/mosuo
And apparently they do recognise “rape” and “murder” in their sect and strictly forbid relations with non-mosuo ..
Amlan
How about not discussing anything and assumming nothing happende?
And here is more about the darker side of tourism at Lugu lake (the home of the mosuo) ,, its sad that things are taking this turn ..
time.com/minorities
Amlan
Hi Nita,
Truly this is a very disgusting and discomforting event!!
While we are all speculating about the different reasons that trigger such events; such as lack of education, women dressed inappropriately (which is just stupid), lack of police support, not enough done towards awareness of such atrocities etc. all are commendable observations…., yet, we are not fully covering certain truths / realities which prevail.
Since this forum has some really intelligent readers, here’s something to think about:
REALITY 1) People who commit such atrocities come from both affluent as well as backward / slum dwelling (for lack of a better adjective) environments. It is independent of race, religion or color. So, therefore no one community or section of society can be blamed. – I work for a MNC in Mumbai and I have seen CEOs, VPs and peons / office boys behave like this at company parties etc…
REALITY 2) As a member of the male fraternity I as well as every other male on the planet would be lying if we said that we have never glanced at a beautiful girl or an actress / celebrity or somebody wearing a mini skirt. But will I grope these women under the influence of alcohol or otherwise? Definitely not!
The keywords here are attitude and social consciousness : The reason most people will not reduce themselves to behaving this way is because of a positive attitude and a social consciousness. I never had a strong parental upbringing, neither did my friends, and we pretty much learned right from wrong ourselves. So stop blaming the parents. They play an important part in our lives no doubt, but they can only do so much.
REALITY 3) To think about sex is only natural for both sexes but to act on it is a whole different ball game. This again comes down to attitude and social consciousness. Men look at women and conversely women look at men too! Sometimes one of the sexes is thinking about “man I’d love to get naughty with her” and vice versa…….. But our attitude and social consciousness tell us that “hey, you MAY look, but dont touch”.
Can we adopt stricter rules towards such offenses? Yes. But there is better way to do it……. And to do it smartly and effectively:
1) Lets take a look at the Indian Police. They dominantly come from poor to middle class communities. They have never seen excess money and their salaries are a joke. What is their motivation to work hard and sincerely uphold the law? Nothing. We need to give better benefits to these guys and hopefully better pay so that we can curb their casual attitude towards such offenses (and many others too) and deter them from taking bribes.
2) There are hundreds of thousands of pending cases in our courts. We are short of judges!!! Its ridiculous!! Get more people in there. Give them better pay. Keep the courts open 24 / 7. Speedy trials.
3) Make molestation a non-bailable offense. Most of these bastards (forgive my French) get out because they always have someone or the other posting bail for them and their cases go on and on!!
4) A woman’s touch is always better. More and more women should be encouraged to join the police force. There should actually be two commissioners of police, one male and one female.
I could go on and on…….. Education (as most of you have mentioned) is important, both formal and moral. We dont need an RR Patil telling us what we can and cannot do. We dont need Shiv Sainiks raiding Valentine’s Day parties and telling us how to live. We are born free and each individual is born with a basic instinct which tells them right from wrong. You dont need politicians or your teachers or your parents to teach you morals. I maybe wrong in my comments. i am just an average joe like all of you trying to make this country a great place to be in.
Regards,
SM
I think the whole problem is because of numbers. There are just too many of us to for the infrastructure that we have (including security infrastructure).
Even if we have the entire police force in the country put in Mumbai on new years eve it still would be inadequate to handle the crowds if everyone came out for the party.
The best analogy to this is traffic. Why dont we Indians have any (or atleast very little) traffic sense? It is because we have learnt over the years that the police just doesnt have enough resources and there are too many vehicles to track all traffic offenses and so we’ll get away most of the time(Agreed Mumbai fares much better than other cities but you still cant compare it with say london where you are being watched by a camera all the time and you will surely pay for any offence).
Same thing applies to everything else. There are just too many people and too few judges to handle all criminal cases like the present one. So people have just learnt over the years that you can get away with most things and they continue doing it.
All limousine liberals who cry hoarse at any advise to ladies to be a little careful with what/when/how they do certain things(Yeah clothing included.) in India irritate me like hell. There just isnt enough infrastructure in the country to keep a lady from being unfairly treated in every nook and corner of Mumbai. So I think it is correct advise to ask people to use their best judgement regarding what they wear amd where they go when they go out for a party at 12:00 PM on Mumbai streets. If I had a teenage daughter today I would be against her coming back home at 12:00pm from JW Marriot on new years with a crowd of 100 other men around her. The only reason being I would be worried like hell about her safety. I would rather that she spend the entire night at JW Marriot and come back the next morning. I wish all ladies in the country could do/be exactly the way they want all the time and still be safe. But unfortunately we just dont have enough infrastructure to guarantee that and till then let the ladies use their best judgement to decide what all could potentially invite trouble(including clothing).
And yes for all you guys not from India, please be our guests and free up your borders so that we can come to your countries in the billions and then we will see how you handle yourselves!
hi
Read all replies and comments… surely its a GRAVE issue.. more serious, it’s to do with INDIA.
Great India ! well said … darkness under the lamp..where unfortunately the single most important reason for incidents like this are … LACK of ACCOUNTABILITY.. guess what.. we write and protest all when shit like this happens, but lets ask,ourself… whats the animal inside us … if we were one among those 60 savage animals, would we have too went ahead and participate in that act ??? NO one have guts to say .. I will, or I would have … or I might have been even…. all will say …. NO MAN, never , I am not like that.. my parents never taught me … bla bla…. !! thats the answer to the problem… most of us(a huge large fractions) are hiding as hidden wolves in good appearances… act good, act as nice sons, ideal husband, great father…. but given a chance and an oppurtunity…. many (yes MANY )wont hesitate to do nasty filthy activities… ask yourself … what are you when there is dark and when no one sees you… if You are truly nice then… problem solved ! but if you don’t have GUTs to accept … then events like this will go on and on and on … only names and characters and locations will change.. and we all will again sit and write big letters , protesting and shouting HOW good we are and HOW bad are they!!!
ACCOUNTABILITY man! thats the cream.. grow within it, have guts to accept your crimes…. rest assured
Dear Vivek, it was because I am your fan. You may not remember, a long while back you recommended a book to me here. I am just revisiting Nita’s site. I also sought after your comments under topics that interested me. I think their were reflections of wisdom and knowledge.
Clothing is a metaphor, which reflects most of the cultural dimensions that you mentioned, aesthetics, ethics, etc. For example, clothing creates meaning for nudity which has much further implications. Civilization is half truthful and half delusional. It is truthful only when it directly grows out of the nature of life, and delusional when it looses this first sincerity thus looses contect to life. Today’s western culture, especially USA, are such cases. They are products of concepts but inspirations. Unfortunately most civilizastions having reached a mature stage will fall for this trap, they can no more serve the people. The hearts underneath this heavy clothing return to wildness only with more hypocrisy acquired along the course of civilization. Hence we can hardly expect a man acting “civilised” when the civivlization on his isn’t truthul (“natural”, in my earlier terms) any more.
Hi, Amlan, I am not sure the Moso information on line is reliable due to the arrogance of the “civilied men” who provided them. I got my information from a book by a Hong Kong writer who managed to learn the Moso language, and lived in their homes for a year. But still, he addmitted and left a lot of opened questions in his book.
The incident happened when i first visited bombay 4 years ago with my sister and friend of her. We had stayed in mumbai for 16 days and visited few temples and mahalaxmi temples. At the time few marathi backward people rushed and i had a bad habit keeping sword in my car always. I am a good sword spinner. Unfortunately 8 of them were hospitalized badly injured by my sword. Patel with sword or gun could be dammn dangerous
This is the most shocking incident. I used hear these terms only on T.V. and radio and never remember seeing them on a national T.V. I’m not here to blame the law enforement agencies but I’m ashamed at the fact that there was a huge gathering of crowd and all were enjoying this shameful incident. Women who suffered there were treated like chickens. I hate to see a country growing and having no values. As an Indian I feel extremely shameful.
Nishant:
//…but you still cant compare it with say london where you are being watched by a camera all the time and you will surely pay for any offence…//
The very fact that you need the deterrent of cameras watching probably means that Londoners are not VERY MUCH better than us.
I remember the London of the early 1970s (and even as recently as 1999) when, even at zebra crossings without signals, if there was a pedestrian about to cross, the driver of an approaching car would slow down, stop, and wave to the pedestrian to cross.
I particularly remember my experience of crossing Tottenham Court Road on my first day in London. The road had recently been converted to a one-way thoroughfare, but the relics of its previous avataar (median divider, signage appropriate to two-way traffic etc.) had not yet been removed. I looked left, crossed over to the median, then looked to the right for traffic going in the other direction, and stepped out to cross the remaining half. To my great horror, I heard a loud screech of brakes from my left — a car had stopped within five feet of knocking me over. The driver, alert to the possibility that everyone may not as yet be aware of the change, had exercised his own discretion and averted disaster.
The point I am seeking to make is that in the absence of policing, lights or signage, it was plain civic sense and courtesy that won the day. Whether in the matter of insane driving or molesting women, if the public at large is not sensitive to these essential qualities of good citizenship, no policing or regulations can be effective.
Of course the experiences I cite are from another century
and possibly good citizenship is generally taking a beating everywhere.
I AM ANGRY WITH THE NEWS PAPER …THEY SHOULDN’T PUBLISH THE IMAGES OF MOLESTED GIRLS IN SEMI NUDE CONDITION….
Hi Nita,
thanks for posting this. I couldn’t agree with you more for a more sexually free society. Sadly I think that this is the only way out of this mess.
It makes me sick to read this. I feel like throwing up. It also makes me ashamed to be an Indian man, whenever I remember these things.
The problem here comes from its source… sexually frustrated young men in society. Unless dating and premarital relationships are not normal, this plague will continue.
It really makes me sick. And also very sad for the girls.
Ashwin
Thanks to all of you who are commenting here. It’s far too overwhelming for me to answer them all. Thank you for your support.
Ashwin, your comment touched my heart. If only the police had even one percent of the sensitivity you have!
Why hype for such incidents? When the cinema show this kind of non-sense, its done by heroes and they get awards for their performance. When the public who fantasize these actors do the same, people shout.
I too have mother, sisters and wife. When I see such incidents, the only thing goes to my mind is “Kill the scoundrels from bolloywood.” Instead of rewarding them and awarding them, shoot them. They are mis-leading the society portraying such crimes as if they are part of a free society.
Unfortunate enough, our dear public will never realize and this will always go in a loop.
Shameful incident. I would like to make a few points:
1) Why is the media so outraged? Don’t they know that such shameful incidents happen throughout the country on a daily basis? This is plain hypocrisy (as well as creating sensational news to gain TRP). It happened last year and this year the same thing was repeated. And something gives me the feeling that the media will forget this incident as soon as they get a more “sensational” story and the same thing will be repeated next year. I wonder is all this noise is really going to change anything.
2) All this is to be blamed on the earlier generations and their stupid mentality of separating both sexes. Things like “ladki haath se nikal jaayegi” or taboo on talking about sex or anything remotely related to it or hiding love affairs. I think it is way too much control. Whenever you try to suppress people from expressing themselves, they will get frustrated and vent out through some other medium. Please note that i am not justifying those molesters.
Also, I don’t really see how education is going to change all this. And can someone explain what education are people talking about really?
I agree with Neil.The scoundrels should be shot dead or at least publicly flogged by women.If respect for women is not ingrained in them,it should be drilled into them by brute force.Even if that fails,these scum should be executed.Society does not need them.
Saddist attitude and should be punished not less than 15 years..
Rape is how an Indian guy gets sex….Indian men are the biggest rapists in the world per capita.
Just do a google search for rape and India.
This is a trait of cowardly men.
Rohit your comment is bang on. I too wonder at the fuss being made when girls face this type of trauma every single day.
This is an indicator of how the city is evolving. I have also given a link to your post on my blog too.
IF GIVEN AN OPPORTUNITY I WOULD TAKE THE MOB MEN’S WOMEN (THEIR WIVES, DAUGHTGER, SISTER, OR ANY WOMEN IN THEIR HOME) ON THE ROAD IN THE DAY LIGHT AND WOULD MAKE THEM NAKED IN FRONT OF THESE MEN AND THAN ASK DID THEY ENJOY IF THEY SAY YES THEN I WOULD KILL ALL THESE MOB MEN ON ROAD AND IF THEY SAY NO THEY DID NOT ENJOY THEIR WOMEN NAKED ON ROAD IN THE DAY LIGHT THEN I WOULD ASK OTHER MEN TO COME AND RAPE THE MOB MEN’S WOMEN AND THEN ONLY THEY WILL UNDERSTAND HOW OTHER PEOPLE FELT WHEN THEY DID THE SAME AND OUR LAW SHOULD BE STRICT THAT ANYONE DOING SUCHA SHAMELESS ACTIVITY WITHOUT ANY CASE AND WITHOUT ANY FIR AND COURT VERDICT THEY SHOULD HANG TILL DEATH.
Why the hell is this issue treated as Molestation?? It is clear and evident that this is a case of attempted Rape. The culprits should be treated like Rapists… Such media-managed milder words will do no justice.
Dear Richa, what is the difference between you and the rapists.. Why do you talk like one? What have their women done to be so humiliated? Punish the culprit not their relatives. Be Just, not Taliban!!!
Dear Richa,
One more place that needs to come in your blog is Airport. I have seen Custom officers talking pictures of girls waiting in queue for immigration. Custome officers are supposed to be well educated and one of the best. If these guys cannot control themself what we can think for the commoners.
Its a little strange that the first thing almost everyone seems to be trying to prove is that this is an isolated incident and let this not bring a bad name to mumbai and so on. That, in my book, is denial.
According to me it has happened because of the women only. They have the rights to celebarate the New year. But the place which they selected to celebarate it is wrong. If I were there I would have helped them. No one did help them.There was no humanity. Surely all the guys should be punished.
Hey RAmesh..
Go take a hike into orthodoxhood. A person whether male or female has the right to be where they want when they want especially if its a public place like a road. A woman would usually feel safer with crowds. But what happens when the crowd itself gets Hor*ny!…the family of the men who did this should disown them. A public apology should be made in front of the entire nation.
These girls had to celebrate new year at home and not in public place.
Ok
Happy New Year !
its true that now womens are not safe in any place…you never know when you move out of your shell n you are been haunted…shame on we indians that we dont take actions but y should we take actions? is a quetion in every body mond as police do not take it forward and there are many procedures to follow…i feel all the molesters should be stripped of on the stret and made walk like that …even they should know the feeling of being molested and after effects
Nita,
The latest molestation case is on the news… at Kumarakom , kerala.
Now all the countries whose citizens who fly to India as tourists are giving strict warnings on possible molestations on Indian Streets.
Sad huh?
I would say it’s about time Xylene. We have deluded people in this country who seem to imagine that molestation of women in public places in India is unusual and it is men who think like this. Not all men, but those who think like this (that molestation in public places is unusal) are mostly men. I have got emails saying it’s all nonsense and these incidents are rare! But the fact is that they happen all the time, every single day. It’s about time foreigners armed themselves with this knowledge, and my tips to prevent molestation are mostly written for them.
It’s time we shouted it out to the world because our Indian govt. is not doing anything about it. Let the world know what sick people roam the roads! I want our country to wake up to this menace and look down on men who do this, not turn a blind eye.
Nita,
I completely agree with you.It is about time we moved out of the denial mode about the Indian male’s nasty attitude towards women.
Let foreign women be forewarned and forearmed about the silent suffering and humiliation that their Indian sisters undergo on a daily basis.
My country ladies,whenever going out take 100 gms of chilli powder in your purse.I think this will protect you rather than your husband or BF.
Amazing range of responses to a sad and shameful lack of self control over animal instincts. I understand the frustrations of being an Indian male -I weep for you poor men, you have nothing to feel good about. So you reach out and feel the first good thing you see – a woman. FOR SHAME.
Do you realise the power play here – all rape is about power. And is an open admission of failure in everything else.
Can one campaign for a public education programme seeking to establish this link between failure/cowardice and molestation?
If you think of it – 95% of troubles in the world – wars,fanaticism,crude politics, violence,murders,rapes,robberies ,anythin’ horrid one can think of etc. are caused by MEN !!!!
And then people wonder why most women are feminists !!!
Most men like these need education, sense, ethics, resposibilities ,decency etc.
P.S. not directed towards the extremely rare but good men we know and love !!!
the saying goes on :
1. try to stop cruelty,barbarism,hypocrisy,terror and all sorts of evil if possible with hands
2. or else speak against regarding all these activities
3. or at least think in your heart and make your heart feel guilty and fell bad regarding all such evil things and this is the least a person can do,
BUT
SORRY TO TELL NO ONE OR VERY RARE IN THIS WORLD
ARE FOLLOWING EVERY ONE IS BOTHERING OF HIMSELF ALONE NO RELATIONSHIP NO RESPONSIBILITY NO COUNTRY NO HUMANITY
ONCE MORE
SORRY
TO SAY EVEN BEASTS ARE ASHAMED OF PRESENT SECT OF PEOPLE,
THE PEOPLE WHO LEADS SIMPLE LIFE IS EITHER CALLED A TERRORIST OR FUNDAMENTALIST
I PRAY GOD THAT HE GIVE US PEACE OF MIND GOOD THINKING HONOR AND RESPECT IN BOTH THE WORLDS
AND BEFORE SEEING DEATH LET HIM MAKE ALL OF US TO OBEY HIM IN EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF LIFE MAY BE THIS MAY HURT THE SENTIMENTS AND FEELINGS OF OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS OUR FATHER AND MOTHER OUR RELATIONS ELDERS COUNTRYMEN THE WHOLE WORLD OR WE MAY LOSE OUR WEALTH PROPERTY PRIDE FAME ETC IN THIS WORLD
ALL PRAISE BE TO THE LORD OF THE UNIVERSE
Well ladies. I met an Israeli guy who invented a device. It is like a ring you wear on your finger. But on one side there is a button. When you press the button it creates an static electricity around you. Then if anyone touches you they get a shock, which can be intense.
If he sold that device in India, it would be popular and he’d be a billionaire.
Actually, its true rape, abuse of women happen in the US too but its not like Indian at all. Here (the US) the worst I’ve ever had were looks, smiles and a guy approaching me to flirt. But when I say no, they get the clue. I have gone to parties and celebrated with groups and had fun without all this crap. It is very different in the West than India.
One time I had a stalker with me. I was carrying pepper spray and I sprayed him. He fell unconscious and i got away. This happened only once in the last 12 yrs in America.
Is carrying pepper spray illegal in India? I think a woman has a right to defend herself.
The issue is not that rape, molestation and abuse happens elsewhere. The issue is that we do not deal with it or take it seriously enough. And many men in our country think its a joke or game.
To all who asked about education. It is openly talking about molestation, sexual abuse and rape in the schools. A lot of these men dont even think its a crime or take it seriously. Its because our Indian does not teach boys manners and civility. The boys are spoilt.
I hate to say this but many of our Indian men are the most insecure men I’ve ever met. Or I should say immature, stupid boys.
This happens a lot… specially in nothern part of the country. These days even mumbai isnt as safe as it used to be…
Even Bollywood stars are getting molested, but NONE of them reported it!! Ughhhhh these actresses should do a campaign and encourage other women to raise their voice.
hindustantimes story
I am scared of writing any criticism of these beasts as may be i will be branded a “terrorist”. still i will say that use some islamic laws to protect girls and women from molesters and rapists. Behead some of them and all the things will be alright in a matter of time. Our law enforcing agencies themselves are molesters and rapists. this is a very big problem in our country India. please ohhhh girls don’t celebrate anything like this on roads and streets. dont intermingle with menfolk. dont roam with boyfriends. keep some chasty in yourselves. this is the reason that islam chose some laws for the benefit of the womenfolk but alas none is following that.
I hv gone thru some of the posts on this issue. The root of the problem lies in the population explosion that has been exsiting in India since long. I am a mumbaite and I hv travelled all along in the railways and city buses like BEST. `Molestation` or `rape` is a result of sex hunger. There are many things making impact on mind. Like films which today have open sex performed in many ways which creates desire to experience sex in various ways. SEX is NATURAL gift to all animals. Molestation takes place in Human society as we understand the difference between approved sex, molestation and rape. We are all victims of commercialisation. FREEDOM and its extent needs to be redefined. Male and female work together, very close to each other like in BPOs or in software companies. I am witnessed to females drinking alchohole competing with made, then dancing and finally enjoying sex. When we see the crowd in mumbai or delhi or calcutta or bangalore, we see that there is no space left between two individuals. This provides an opportunity to get into the act of molestation. Else in villages, molestation is almost absent. In BEST buses, there is no space between a male and female if they are standing. The natural sentiments like `feeling` starts acting upon the mind and the result is molestation. The only way to get out of it is (a) control the crowd. (b) wear safe clothing so that there is no opportunity created to get molested or raped (c) move in groups (d) stick to the basics of freedom and do not scream on too much of freedom. (e) The best is to stick to Indian cultural values. (f) The last but not the least – instead of writing, come together, make a think tank, take initiatives, keep police connections, come home early before it is too late. Else things would not change. WE indians spend more time in writing and speaking and very less time on ground level actions. IF reverse happens all problems would find solutions at the right time. Possible????
This is just sadistic, these perverts, in a large crowd, trying to rape a helpless woman. Thats just sad. Damn shame.
nooooooooooooooooo
Ok this is a really really huge problem in India and Pakistan. I am seriously getting sick of that S**t. All of the guys there are perverted. besides grabbing girls in the street and running away, they don’t have the Ba**s to actually ask someone out, especially the F***ing FOB’s, I still wonder why God allows those stinky, hair comed to the side, mustache having fools to be born. I mean like maybe if you clean yourself up, stop smelling like Sabzi Mandi (indian grocery shop) and stop talking like “rat tat tat” youll get some . Due to all of the oppression from home and families, any chance outside of the house they get, they become animals. That is just shameful. And god forbid someone does that to their sister, then they get all crazy and beat up others or kill them. Next time I go back to visit, Im gonna wear a hijab (female robe) and wait till a guy tries grab me, then im gonna beat the living sh**t out of him on the street, pay the cops in american dollars to arrest him and beat his ass some more, then go to the guys school and get him expelled. That is my next goal in life. Ok now Im going to go get some fresh air outside because im just going crazy writing this.
thanks for listening
later
it’s only going to get worse with our sex-ratio getting worse every day.
an effort: http://unwantedgirlchild.blogspot.com
HI All,
I think the way forward is a two way job, both for the women and men, its not only men who are guilty. In Indian society there is a big communication gap , even the girls kind of keep to themself ,therefore there is no chance of interaction , also have to lift the taboo on sex ,its not only for reproductive but also its a recreation .In the metros its better as the young people mix in colleges.
I agree Monachee, the taboo on sex is a big problem in Indian society and leads to an unhealthy approach. – Nita.
Something interesting: mumbai mirror
sex starved like hell and men basically see women as sex objects anyways thats the truth
hi,
almost every family has a girl who was molested or touched at some point of time in their lives. we all know it in our heart but we wont speak against it, our pride ego and image stops us and unintentionally we let another girl fall victim by not protesting.
when i was 4 yrs i was nearly molested by one of d cook and then touched and groped by uncles strangers and ppl who worked in d house. my mother is a strict lady and i never told her or anyone about it out of fear they might misunderstand me or not believe me at all, i just didnt want to loose their love. but it took away a part of me, my self confidence and impregnated me with unbound nervousness and self conciousness. i was so ashamed that i could never speak about it and it killed me every moment, it still does but less. recently i talked about it to my boy friend and felt a wave of relief more so because he still loves me, may be a bit more nw.
people who truly loves us are going to love us any way so please dnt stop yourself from protesting n frm stopping another girl fall victin.
I like the way, Ms. Nita puts these things in blog, in a candid way. However I have seen a lot of people seem to think “give these men education and it will do the trick”. How do you put so much trust in a system that didn’t stop Indian men from demanding dowry?
What India needs is sex education in schools and opening up their prudish attitudes about sex and sesuality. Unless men can get in touch with their sensual side, they will express themselves in the only other way that testosterone works – agdression, whther it is violence or sexual harassment of women. If one were to look at Google trends, the most popular porn keyword searches come from India, Iran, etc. which are prudish and sexually opressive in nature coupled with hipocrisy about rapes and violence.
Complaint not being filed even by foreigners is understandable cuz maybe they are also aware of the Indian police and like us “dont want to fall into a mess” with the police. I agree a sexually promiscuous society would have made things easier maybe…I get really pissed off when guys even the married ones just stand obstructing the way in train’s corridor or at the doors and when asked to move..do so grudgingly that too one inch or so…so that when we pass they get some touch…But i literally elbow them or step on their feet
My sister too once had a bad incident while standing in a bank queue!!!!
I blame it on Bollywood and TV
India is not ready for such semi nudity.
PS: Still Mumbai is far better than Delhi
Although i havent indulged in such gross acts, i never stopped myself or my friends from the casual ‘touching’ of females in buses and in other crowded areas, when we were in eng college….well, may be its an age problem..i was young and stupid..although i am sure that i wuldnt be passive if the same happened to my sisters..but that thought somehow eluded me…So blaming my age is not right, i take the full responsibility and take this oppurtunity to apologise to all women(i dont know what else to do)for my misbehaviour….And may be in future, i may be able to change some males mindset or act against such things….
Hi Everyone,
I couldn’t help but get very emotional after reading this post and all the comments (especially the comments). It saddens me that ours is such a great civilization and yet women (both Indian and foreign) are treated so poorly on a daily basis.
I might be over-simplifying this issue by considering this a class issue. But I do agree with comments which talk about the molesters being from families where women aren’t respected and possibly abused. I think the single most effective thing that we can do is by teaching our kids (both boys and girls) about respect and making sure that any abusive behaviour towards women (even domestic abuse) doesn’t go un-reported and un-punished.
I understand that this is not a simple problem and there are probably many solutions. But instead of only discussing the details of incidents (which is important as a reminder), we all need to think of what we can do to help stop this disgusting behaviour by our fellow countrymen.
At the risk of being branded phirangi, I want to leave us with lyrics from 2PAC’s song (Keep Ya Head Up):
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfXwmDGJAB8
Thanks again to everyone for sharing their opinions. Open discussions like these will help create awareness and even if we change the mindset of a few, its still a step in the right direction.
This is “Incredible India” for you. Most Indians think that the West is a morally depraved society, yet they are the first to get in line to have a chance to live there. We like western products, their technology, their efficient system of government, cleanliness and their standard of living. We like to film our movies there because its so clean and beautiful there. We’ll never become modern country unless we get out of this mindset that Indians and our culture are the most morally superior in the world. Remember, in a country where the culture does not evolve, the society will be condemned to backwardness. If Indian culture is so superior then why did we have the caste system and sati? Why do we have grinding poverty? I have talked to many foreigners and they say that India by far poorest country they have seen out of all the other 3rd world countries they have been to. I have been to many countries in the world, including 3rd world countries, and I would have to say that India is the dirtiest of them all. I know, I know what people will say, its because of the British. Lets blame the present situation on them. We love to play the blame game instead of accepting personal responsibility.
Look at all the technologically advanced countries, or morally depraved as we think in India, and you will see that they all have the following things in common:
1. Intermingling between unmarried males and females
2. Women can dress dress anyway they want, not only men as in India
3. Pornography
4. Strip clubs
5. Women sunbathing in bikinis on the beach
6. Women allowed to expose their legs in public
7. Kissing and holding hands in public
These are just a few of the things.
And what are these morally depraved societies that we are talking about? Here are some of them.
Europe
Russia
US and Canada
Australia and New Zealand
Japan, Korea and possibly China
Indian men get angry when they see a woman dressed in a revealing manner, this is because they believe that the women is inciting them with lust. They think this woman is immoral, a whore and that she needs to be dominated and punished because she is a sinner.
I’m was born a hindu but don’t consider myself one, or as I would like to put it spiritual but not religious. I don’t adhere to any religion or dogma.
Just a few things I would like to mention from the two largest religions in the world.
Mohamed:
A woman should cover herself up so as not to incite lust in men. Thus the women is responsible if she gets raped, meaning that men are animals and have no self control.
Jesus:
Banned the practice of stoning to death of a woman for adultery. He said he who is without sin let him cast the first stone.
A man who lusts when he sees a woman, let him pluck one of his eyes out, and if he still lusts, then he should pluck his other eye out as well.
I want to relate an incident that happened in Secunderabad back in the summer of 1981 when we were teenagers.
Me, my sister and my cousin brother went cycling in the countryside, we parked our cycle below and climbed up this hill. After sometime these men came out from behind the rocks. They were angry because we brought a girl up there with us. They pinned my sister down on the ground and threw a rock at me and my cousin which just missed my head by a few inches. Me and my cousin were crying for these men to let us go, but my sister got angry and yelled abuses at them, even though she is younger than me. Eventually my sister was able to get away from them and then we ran like hell.
This is gross!!
Indian (hindus) men are gross!!
Indian men rape because no women wld ever want to marry these perverted losers..
I would never travel to India even if my life depended on it..
On the same thread .. i thnk that this guy below is actually the most correct..
“syed raafeuddin ahmed,
I am scared of writing any criticism of these beasts as may be i will be branded a “terrorist”. still i will say that use some islamic laws to protect girls and women from molesters and rapists. Behead some of them and all the things will be alright in a matter of time. Our law enforcing agencies themselves are molesters and rapists. this is a very big problem in our country India. please ohhhh girls don’t celebrate anything like this on roads and streets. dont intermingle with menfolk. dont roam with boyfriends. keep some chasty in yourselves. this is the reason that islam chose some laws for the benefit of the womenfolk but alas none is following that.”
Sandip
We are on the same page
I would love to see a woman in bikini 
and I believe that it doesnt mean she is a whore cause she wore skimpy clothes. Even our religion or culture doesn’t say that its sin to expose the body. It is just our current morons who got some political power exercising it just to gain political benefits. But India has to go a long way to see a woman dress in whatever she likes. I wish that day would come very soon.
Anon
Beheading is cruel but he/they must be punished severely like a 14 year imprisonment. India is not islamic and we are not terrorists either to commit such heinous crimes. Taking one’s life away is not human and its objectionable. I don’t know why you advocate violence but its barbaric. If killing is the only solution left then someday there would be no one alive on this earth. Mr.Ahmed could never be a terrorist but implementing Islamic laws is uncivilized and I believe India is far from that state.
Anon
You have made a right decision do not come to India. India is not tourist friendly especially to women tourists (Pun not intended). Why would any foreign woman wants to lose her modesty just for seeing pathetic old temples and a marble grave? I don’t see any necessity.
such a shameful act which disgusts me… most of the girls who read this post are terrified but i request them dont b , if u r terrified u cant fight against it… b strong girls… v all shuld get together n raise our voice… v hv to change the situation, i cant c my country like this… i dont want my family n my loved ones to live in such a place.. jst look at tht help less guy tryng to save her.. 2morow it can b u or me… or ur sister, wife , daughter… any one.. m deffinatly gonna do sumthng to change the situation.. i dam care if i can make a change bt ill do efforts frm my side n if v all do a litle effort v surly can change the situation…
Bitter truth! I am no good in posting a valid comment here. Nevertheless, i think i found out the tip of an iceberg. Thank you for directing me here.
This is why I don’t even want to marry an Indian man. I will marry my white boyfriend
Nita, academics seem to have a slightly different take on molestation in India,
http://vikramvgarg.wordpress.com/2008/09/06/eve-teasing-a-consequence-of-inter-caste-conflicts/
I am not sure what percentage of the actual abuse is due to the reasons in the above post, but rectifying them will go a long way in making cities safe for women.
waaw… arre haath hi to lagaya hai…itna bura kyon mante ho… tumhe bhi to mazaa aaya hoga… krishna karein to raas lila… hum karein to character dheela… yeh to koi baat nahin hui…
I would like to say two things here—
1st.. of course its a menace in India, i have felt it myself… i used to study in Delhi university… there used to be special buses DU special for college students… i m a guy, and once while going to college in DU special bus i felt a hand deliberately touching by bottom… i could not see the hand when i turned back but it had to be a gal’s hand tht much i could feel while being touched.. i had to be silent, of course you cannot protest such a thing in India, no one would believe it if a gal did so…
2nd.. i see many comments about some ppl saying that Indian guys are illiterate, uneducated, uncultured n all… i’d like to say that molestation, rape, and “forcing someone for sexual benefits from women” happens everywhere… i am working in New York now, daily newspapers do have news about date rapes. rapes of women after getting excessively drunk at parties.. i have seen relations between old boss and secretary which entire office knows and is silent…. so, i would not like to classify this as Indian problem only…
thanks for reading…
While I agree with the fact that there is rape etc in all countries but molestation is a peculiar Indian problem. I don’t see women being felt up in crowds there as they are here. Here its not possible to be in a huge crowd without being felt up. Also I think your assumption that the person who touched you is a girl may not be correct. Two men whom I know very well have had this experience, in the gents compartment of a suburban train in Mumbai. – Nita.
well it was not a guy for sure… when i turned back there were four gals behind me… no guy was around… & i did not knew which gal among them did it… and since i was not sure, i had to keep silent…
another one… as i said, this problem is not just limited to India… i was in boston in USA some time back… the boston metro rail corporation is running a campaign against people who touch or brush deliberately against females, by taking advantage of the crowded trains…
I am trying to say here is that its a very serious issue, AND its not limited to poor, illiterate, or SC/ST people… bashing the illiterate and poor, and some castes does not solve the problem completely… as they are not the only people who can be doing this menace…
See the link for advertisements in boston metro rail which is made to encourage people if any such incident happens to them…
http://www.mbta.com/templates/image_popup.asp?imgsrc=%3Cimg+alt%3D%22NEW+MBTA+POLICE+CHIEF%22+src%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mbta.com%2FuploadedImages%2FSmart_Forms%2FNews%2C_Events_and_Press_Releases%2Fpolice_chief_Lg.jpg%22+%2F%3E&desc=Gina+Scaramella+of+BARCC%2C+GM+Dan+Grabauskas%2C+and+Chief+MacMillan+at+the+April+launch+of+the+Sexual+Assault+Awareness+Campaign
Thanks for reading…
Studboy, I do not believe that it is limited to the poor or the illiterate at all. However, some commentators do believe this. But yes I feel it is more prevalent in India. I don’t say it doesn’t happen anywhere else. – Nita.
Thanks Nita…
I think degradation of values is has to do something with it… social control is not possible because of fear these days… i remember long back if someone touched a woman in wrong way in bus or even stared at woman for long.. we used to hear instances where some bylooker- man or woman would certainly raise a voice and protest, these days everyone is afraid for his or her life, and avoids the altercation at all costs… so social control is not being done these days, we do not banish the perpetrator by bashing him or by distancing from him socially…, so in the end everyone is “expected” to have self-control everywhere and if its not present, no other person intervenes… so in effect the assaulter get a boost..
2nd.. and people do not have self-control in themselves… maybe sexual frustration too… basically not many people are happy with their sexual lives…both married and unmarried.. young and old… (ya this is possible even with the explosive population growth rate that we have managed to achieve).. so they “justify” doing it by various reasons.. by saying things like… “she wants it”, “so what”, “it was unintentional”, “if she does not want to be equal she should stay at home” etc etc…i remember one news article or some news channel where Mumbai cop was saying that dance bars actually protect ordinary women from getting assaulted…now beat that…
this is for the silent onlookers who look the other way while a women is getting assaulted–
I feel if we do not speak against it even when it does not affect us directly, then we will not get support when we actually need it… today you might be traveling alone, tomorrow ur wife, sister, girlfriend, friend, relative would be affected and no one around you will speak when u need it…
I found great similarity in this case with a poem written by a Jew.. though the perpetrators here are not killing the women or others supporting her, but they do single out the affected gal and distance her from others…if the people support her, the perpetrator make it look as if the other people are calling for trouble if they protested.. in the same way done by Germans… see the link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came…
another one… i m on a roll today.. this article has got my attention, i guess…
this one is specifically from Delhi… when i was growing up, it was respectful to call some female on the road as “behen ji” (meaning sister) or if she was old enough “mata ji” (meaning mother)…
now a days, I have heard it myself that women protesting against it… they prefer to be called as “madam” instead of “behen ji” or “mata ji”… try saying “behen ji” to some woman in Delhi roads, and see the frown on her face for yourself… once i was travelling in bus, bus conductor gave back the ticket and change to a woman by saying “yeh lo behen ji” (meaning take this sister), i was standing near by…. she retorted by saying “madam kaho” (call me madam)
I suppose, they think if someone calls them “behen ji”, he is not sexually attracted to them which is an “insult” to their beauty… gals get your priorities right… you too are asking for sexual attraction instead of respect…
Indian men are so lucky i don’t live in India- I carry a knife, and I have no fear of using it on anyone who dares touch me… I should move to India and teach woman some hand to hand defense classes . Woman need to stop crying on the side of the road and fight back- learn some skills or get a bottle of pepper spray, or tazer gun..these depraved idiots will start keeping their hands to themselves or suffer the consequences..
its very bad culture…….
Dear Yashie,
This will happen not only on New Year, may be when you take your women anywhere in the city.
How would you feel sitting at home during New years eve, dont you feel shame to say that, they are also women thay have thier right to enjoy the occassion.
There must be some kind of rule like,even if there is no complaint filing from the victim, based on the photographs, police should be given the right to take action against all these perverts
Forget about education, wonder these people ever thought of these things can happen to their family and beloved ones….
Mob molestation is on rise and this has to be busted
All supports to you
Hi there,
I’m an indian girl, born and bred in Singapore..
In Singapore, you can wear whatever you want, dance in crowded places, come home even at 4 a.m alone .. 26 Years here and I’ve not been teased or molested. The safest country for women. India, is entirely different.
I’ve travelled to India 3 times with friends and family..
When i was 13, we went to Punjab..
Strangely, there were 2 queues, one for men and one for women to buy tickets. I hardly saw any single girls, mainly married woman ( very few compared to men, perhaps 1: 40)The men are openly leering and ogling at you.
When the cinema gates opened, I was swept off my feet as the crowd of men and women entered the cinema.. 2 men reached for my breasts ( I was only 13 so you can imagine I had hardy anything!)
and groped me. ANother man reached again and I bit his arm. I was in tears before I entered the cinema…. When I sat next to my father, i grabbed on to his jacket and refused to leave it.
The 2nd time I went to a cinema in Punjab, I was made aware of a “family balcony”. This was a separate area for pple to view movies….This time I wa with a group of 20 teens and 3 locals and nothing happened to us. Of course, we went to get tickets, entered the cinema and left in our private van. Nervetheless, before entering the cinema, I saw the scores of men leering at us and teardrops fell down my cheeks… Luckily I was nowhere near them this time.
Ive been to Agra, Delhi, Punjab, everywhere on 3 separate trips and I must say that unless you are chauffered in a nice van, you would not be safe.
I was always covered up in traditional clothes, in jeans only in the cities when i was touring and not likely to be in crowded areas.
I have met numerous tourists in India who choose to wear traditional outfits after being molested in India… They often share with us horror stories. Some are accompanied by males, even.
I notice girls in modern areas of Delhi like South Ex mall dress up well and don’t seem to fear men. This is because they are chaufferred everywhere and only hang out in these Upper class areas. Hence, as long as you don’t visit Chandi Chowk or some market in Delhi, you have nothing to fear…
I empathise with Indian Women living in india…
You are either fortunate to be rich and protected or not so rich and you ahve to face Indian Men who shamelessly blatantly stare and try to grope you!
I have always been accompanied by males on my trip to India, be it my father or close friends ( male and females) in a group. Yet I have on countless times avoided being groped, felt, pushed… I;m on super high alert always and manage to push away these yucky hands.
India has great shopping and tourist sites but the government needs to stop the men from molestation. Or else no ones going there again.
Thanks for sharing your experience Rosh. As you said, Indian women undergo this everyday of their lives, the only difference is that for them its a way life, always being alert. As for changing the attitude of the men, this can only happen through massive societal change and its not going to happen for another hundred years at least. – Nita.
I have a licensed Gun.
Noone molests me.
I am an architect, a constructor. I work with labor, with thekedars and many rouge people too.
I never fear in villages and remote areas, because I have a gun. Its not like I never faced difficult situations at nights while returning home from some rural worksite. There are many rich brats out there on roads. I show them guts, I show them that I am living and not ragtagbag for them to jerk at on and throw their loads of the phallus.
I show them, the gun I have.
Some of my friends love their puppies and kitties, some of them love their bangles and bindis.
Some of them love their bags purses and makeup kitties.
I have gun, to love it. I got its license cos I need it. My work permits me to have it.
But every other girl is unsafe there out, even at homes, even under their burqas and ghoonghats.
I dont have any burqa any ghoonghat. i just have a gun!
I know if I am caught in a group of sheeps by some terrorists like they did in Hotel taj or they did in front of Leonardo restaurant, I wont wait for them to kill people and me too.
I have gun, i will oppose them. i will fight for my sanctity of life. I will fight for my grace against molesters and rapists. I will fight for my LIFE.
I have gun., I am human.
If I see a mad sucide bomber to blast the streets of jaipur where i spend my four best years, I wont sit quite. I will make them die. Afterall they are suicide bombers or killer bomb planters. I will try to save other innocent people from those anti-human beasts. I have gun I am responsible, lovable, careful and learned, I have got Gun right and Gun education!
Being born and brought up in Kolkata I have always felt that India is not a country for women. It is country full of vultures in the name of men, and women are the preys. I wont say every Indian man is like this, but 50% are like that and considering the population 50% is huge. Every Indian woman(child, young girl, older women) who cannot afford a car has been molested in their day to day lives. If you travel in a public bus they will touch you, or maybe do more. You can expect anything. You cant stop it, and you are molested so much that you forget how to protest and what it means to protest. You dont want to punish them, you just try to stay away but you cant as they are everywhere. You walk on the streets and they oogle at you no matter what you are wearing.
The recent pub case in Mangalore is nothing but molestation of women by such men in the name of Hindutva. They accused the women of indecent clothing whereas the videos show normal jeans clad college girls been manhandled. They blame the pub and mall culture, unfortunately these are not cultures. A mall is not a culture, a pub was always there even in ancient Hindu India, and always will be there. These people just want to put their hands on women. Look at the rape rates and type of rapes in Indian. Even one month old baby girls are been raped. Nowhere in the world this happens. I have seen US and I live here now, but women are respected here. 50% of Indian men dont have any morality. Given a chance they can rape anyone any point in their lives.
Sorry Indian guys I dont say all of you are sick, but if approached I doubt every Indian man.
Hi guys ,
I respect the fact that most of you girls here say that not all Indian men are like that . However, do bear in mind , that some western men can even be more perverted than the people you talk about . The cases of paedophilia et al in Europe make me sick . By the way , I live in Germany and have been here for quite some time . I do not think poverty is the problem . I think it has to do with how these men were brought up . Period . I would never think of molesting a woman even if I were drunk . Hell , I have had quite a few drinks and was approached by quite a few women who wanted casual sex during parties in Berlin . I never gave in . Those women may have thought I was gay but who cares. I just cannot have sex with someone I do not love . Now , before , you think I am praising myself here , let me get to the point . First of all , I think all rapists should be just shot to death . Period . The problem is that our politicians do not have the balls to implement this . Secondly , we should get rid of parties like Ram Sena et al who actually comprise men who have no jobs and who are frustrated. Most of these men just get a perverted high by beating up these women in the name of upholding culture . They talk about Indian morals or culture . What is Indian culture ? I would tell these crappy people to take a look at Khajuraho and read the Kamasutra. It is not like we Indians do not have sex.We breed like crazy .
Finally , I think the problem is that these men have had no girlfriends or sex and they envy happy couples.
These people just deserve to be shot . India could do without these losers.
@ above…
let me trace indian culture for you. it is just a decade old. calls itself the it culture. blame premiji and murthy for spoiling the indian kids by putting india on the world map of itism. thank god it is soon coming to an end! there won’t be any extra money. youngsters would no more earn 20/30 grand min per month. engineers would go out of demand. iits would shut down. and we would all get back to our old indian culture where, when money wasn’t the sin maker girls and boys used to listen to parents (not to pub mates). indian culture is so weak that the west destroyed it practically: overnight!
ram sene can be sneered at. what would you say to chaddi removing/chaddi sending modern ladies (does that belong to our culture or to western culture)? i would say: they openly declared themselves: wanton (as nisha and her friends admit very plainly). presently mutalik is in the winner position. his only purpose was to use these ladies as a stepping stone to famedom and politics that matter. he would forget them after maligning them one more time: draping their chaddiless torsos with pink sarees! (a good lesson for parents to learn). he would forget chaddis and pubs as quickly as advani and bjp forgot: ram!
a friend told me today about a report appearing in newspapers:
this is how sex goes in india today:
position no. 1: amongst colleagues!!!
position no. 2: with workers (dunno what it means?)
position no. 3: with relatives
well: the last one isn’t new. only thing, no one ever told reporters nor did any news channel bother to record such maligning details.
what does it all lead to? a foriegner lady told me playboy and sex magazines are kept in her drawing room for open reading. her children read. would i get a copy for my drawing room so that i need not explain the embarrassing details to my newly teened son?
some years back a famous journalist wrote in the times: mothers who send children to schools must also remember to pack a condom in the tiffin box! she was pretty serious about it! i lambasted her in my reply to the editor. but i feel now: all the while she was right and i was wrong! india has reached that stage where schools would soon have to implement metal detectors: so that no child smuggles in a live pistol. for everything else progressively sexy and violent we are very close to the west and soon we shall turn back and sneer at them!
Vasudev,
I am not saying that having sex before marriage or with just about anyone is good but who are you or me or any crappy guy named Muthalik to tell how others should live .If you think something is wrong , do not do it but you cannot stop someone else from doing it as long as it does not harm you or anybody else saying you are doing it for preserving Indian culture . Stop blaming the west for everything . If you are conservative , keep it to yourself . Good for you if it is good that it is . You will surely find people of your kind in our hypocritical country . If you do not want to see naked ladies , don’t see them . If you think glancing through a playboy magazine is a sin , don’t do it . I can be my last dime though that you have in your right age done something similar to that . If you want to protect your children , teach them at home . You surely can have an opinion but it gets out of hand if you start talking with a holier than thou attitude and even worse when you try to force your opinion on others . Let the girls you talked about be wanton . What is your problem ?
@ above:
i am not forcing my opinion down anybody’s throat. if i do not opine i would be like a : stone! no feelings/emotions/opinions…but, i like to express myself, as much as you do. take it or leave it. where is the problem? your name says ‘ramsenasucks’. now that is your opinion. am i complaining?
as regards free living, it is only a thought till one is say, 30. beyond 30 the indian isn’t all that strong either physically or mentally to go for a totally carefree (the devil may care) sort of a life. indians are more built towards family than towards adventure. we cannot afford to ape the west. afterall the west is now walking towards spiritual search after having gone through a long period of turmoil which left many violent, single parent children. i would even suggest that large scale conversion in the west to hardcore, severely orthodox islam is only because they got fed up of softer christianity which gave them too much of a freedom…and now they do not want it.
in balance we can live as a much freer society rather than invite the attention of the devil!
Vasudev ,
Did you read my post properly ? I never said you were forcing your opinion down anyone’s throat and that is a good thing . However, you were blaming the west for what youngsters in India do . As if the west is all evil . Think for a while . How come you are not influenced by the west ? How come I am not influenced by the west ? So , those youngsters who sleep around or who behave like schlemiels have only themselves to blame . I have chose my screen name as Ramsenasucks because it does suck . So does all other right wing Hindu organizations , Christian fundamentalist organizations and Muslim fundamentalist organizations .
How can you decide if Indians are not physically or mentally strong enough for a carefree life . This is the whole problem . You are trying to support your opinion with baseless theories. If an Indian man or a woman wants to live carefully , let them do so . It is all in the mind . You say Indians are more built towards family than adventure . Did God tell you this when he built Indians ? Do not get me wrong . I am not attacking you but just that I find some of your theories baseless. You have an opinion and I have a counter opinion . That is all . I am not saying the western way of life is good . I find it quite parochial though they call deem our way of life parochial . You know what baffles me is how for example ,they criticize our systems but at the same time they are just being hypocritical . Let me elaborate . They talk about arranged marriages in bad light . Have you seen their reality shows ? Where a guy would kiss a girl or sleep with a girl and say I love you in less than 30 minutes . So hypocritical , don’t you think ? Not that I support arranged marriages but come on , if it works for some people , what is wrong with it . I found my wife on my own though . Christianity is not soft actually . It can be as devastating as Islam . I am not saying the religion is bad but people have committed so many atrocities in the name of Christianity. It is just that it has been more accommodating of late or rather the religion allows for more accommodations.You talk about many people converting to Islam . Most of the recent converts are blacks and many of them convert while serving time . It is not because they hate Christianity . It is because they feel they are oppressed , and relate Christianity with whites .The Islamic fundamentalists take advantage of this so that they can continue their Jihad against the world . In my opinion , Islamic fundamentalists are the greatest threat to society . Taliban is associated with Islamic fundamentalists and organizations like Ram Sena remind me of Taliban though their ideology is different and we do not want any of them here .
tou-che
Dear RSS
(Sorry! but the other name is too improper and this short form is gonna make you mad)
i am in total agreement with you on many of your views, especially the one about relative influence over people of relative climates.
but what you said about the reasons why people convert to islam in the west really got me sitting-up and thinking.
believe me…what i had opined before was just my own logical conclusion and wasn’t based on any theories or hard facts, except what my mind threw out at me.
you wanted facts. so i decided to google a bit on why people converted to islam in …germany (your place).
and here is a link. please go through. i think the author supports my statement.
a paragraph is pasted here within brackets:
[It's hard to find a common denominator for what exactly makes Islam so attractive to people from a Christian background. Salim Abdullah speaks of "defiant reactions" in the face of the constant criticism brought against Islam, although he's also familiar with converts who appreciate the "clear rules for behavior" provided by the Koran. Lühr, who always carries a prayer mat in the trunk of his Alfa Romeo GT, laments the "decline in values" that Western society, in his view, has suffered: "In Islam, values still count for something," he says.]
i too agree with you that we cannot have religious fanatics breathing down our necks but talibans would then rise when we are guilty ourselves of not upholding the social moral values and becoming good examples to our successor generations. (or course you and i aren’t like that but we both have a moral responsibility to correct the path of the wayward)
unable to post the link
Hi Vasudeva
It is an insult to me that you used the word RSS to address me . he he
You said you were looking for facts . You said you checked for facts on the internet . What you found again were not facts but opinions my friend . You forgot that . Salim Abdullah is a Muslim . Morals eh ? Beating women in public is moral eh ? Asking a woman to have four male witnesses to prove rape is moral , eh ? Come on , get real and give me a break .
The problem with Islam is that many people who follow it take it literally and are very unaccommodating . Why is that women in countries with Muslim majorities do not have as much freedom as women in countries with Christian majorities . Why is that countries with Christian values or majorities are usually very powerful and you know which is the most powerful country in the world , don’t you ?
You must have know why I used countries with Christian majorities instead of Christian countries because there are no Christian countries because almost all countries with Christian majorities are secular .
Why is that most countries with Muslim majorities do not recognize any other religion or allow others from other religions to proselytize . I have lived in an Arab country for 12 years . I have been to almost 20 countries mate . I am not boasting but I know how many Muslims are . So , just because some schlemiels give their opinion about why people are converting to Islam does not make it a fact.
Do your research yourself . Go , check of the recent converts to Islam in the USA for example , how many were convicts ? You will see my point .
So , please think twice before you think that people convert to Islam because morals still count for something . It is the contrary . They force you to follow . Also , do read about how they have started their Jihad by trying to convert as many people and how some of their men are encouraged to lure women from other religions . Read mate , read.
Don’t just read bits and pieces and come to a conclusion . I respect your opinion though but I will always refute them if they are totally wrong as they were in the passage above.
However, I am happy that you do not seem like a greenhorn in that you can take criticism as a man would take it . Good to know that you are not a fanatic too . Groups like the Taliban have no excuse to even come up because they are not really coming to uphold moral values . But , because they want power and think religion is the best way to go about it just like the crappy Ram Sena and the crappy RSS
Do you know Prince ? He is another example of Christians who are fundamentalist. You must know how much havoc his organization has caused, right ?
I meant go check about *
I meant go check about the recent converts *
@ Nita… I am totally shocked to see this article… you are absolutely right “Pornography, which is now freely available on the internet has just whetted their appetite.” … I respect woman…
US is still more on the sexually puritan side than ‘open’, except perhaps when compared to India and other highly conservative countries. Sex in US schools is a lot hyped up than it usually is, thanks to the massive commercialisation of sexuality.
Sexual frustration does breed a lot of sadistic and violent criminals. One has to look the the profiles of serial killers and suicide bombers to spot the pattern. I could give a personal anecode to illustrate this point too, but for reasons of privacy I’d hold off for a while.
It is an issue of debate, since there is no way to ensure that robbers don’t use this method to decapacitate innocent people and make a dash with their belongings.
@ Sandip – Couldn’t have put it better. I’m glad to see that there are some Indians who are less in denial and more open to seeing things for what they really are.
Is respect reserved only for girls who one is *not* sexually attracted to? Sounds like sexual regressiveness to me.
..while at the same time, an equally ‘large scale’ conversion in going on among people of orthodox Islam in the ‘east. People are moving away from Islam because they are fed up with the violent hatred and hardcore negativity preached in Islam. I can see from this remark why you seem to support Rama Sene. I’m sure you’d have a model Taliban, if you were born in Afghanistan two decades ago.
If a troublesome eve teaser’s or molester’s head is cut off as a form of well deserved punishment, I swear 40% of groping and other ill instances would decrease. The fact that these instances go unnoticed, is only degrading the image of women further in India. All pornography sites should be banned, and stricter laws introduced. Probably more quality society-oriented education might also help?
I’m tired of seeing those things & hearing bad word about girls.being a guy of 23 I feel shame when i saw my frnd also.I dont even try to help them but what about others.pls help me bcoz i feel helpless in this world.
hello
m sandeep singh maan frm states i’ve jst surfing here when i was saw this news it;s very sad for the lady u r rit they r mean and son of bitch they never respect a lady.beside that govt have take some strict action for this things.
oh yeah……lets all keep grieving and not doing anything abt this……….duh………instead of waiting for the police to help or lodging a complaint, we must catch those culprits wherever we see and thrash them so hard that they should shiver at the thought of trying to molest.
We being in India, cannot expect moral values and law enforcement to keep us safe nowadays especially at the rate our country is losing its culture in the name of westernisation and dating and stuff, the guys who are not able to be with gals, would do such nasty stuff. Its the responsibility of the total society to make a hard move on these guys now and to bring up their children properly and to vote for a government which can save them from all such problems, instead of being “liberal”…………as even with the terrorists, even after seeing what they did to our country for 2 days at a stretch………and sitting and begging the neighboring country to accept its guilt.
I think we should make our own group and catch these people, punish them with breaking their hands and legs.