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Why is eve-teasing so common in India?

July 24, 2007

When I first heard of this incident where a group of boys in Mumbai followed some young girls and then almost ran over one of them in their eagerness to attract their attention I was shocked. The injured girl (just ten years old!) was shown on TV and it was reported that she could be in hospital for several months – it was very disturbing to say the least.
Whats upsetting is that culprits are now free on bail.

Is this what our country is coming to? I know we have no laws strong enough to either deter eve-teasers or to prevent rash driving…but what about public outrage? There was another incident in Mumbai recently where a man deliberately played porno clips on his cell phone while sitting next to a girl in a bus. He kept thrusting the phone close to her face…finally the girl stopped the bus and took the man to the police. Not a single commuter came forward to help her…in fact even the police were reluctant to register the complaint! They felt that she should have simply slapped the man instead of complaining to the police.

It is no big secret that the police don’t take eve-teasing incidents seriously. Eve-teasing is so common that the police are terrified of the flood of complaints they might receive if they did register the complaints! Shame on them.

Is Bollywood the culprit?
Our films are not helping. Those boys in the jeep for example…they followed the girls, and when the girls crossed the road in panic, they made a U-turn to get nearer, and this is when the accident happened. Haven’t we seen umpteen Bollywood movies where the protagonist follows a girl whom he has taken a fancy to, and heckles her until she responds?

There are some people who firmly believe that its Bollywood which perpetuates the myth that girls like to be teased and stared at …there was an interesting comment I read on a post on eve-teasing. The commentator (who lives in Dubai) is convinced that the reason why it is mostly South Asian men who indulge in this behavior is because they watch Bollywood movies. She gives the example of how “Indian and Pakistani labourers go the beaches and sit fully dressed and stare at the women swimmers…”Certainly we have many situations in Bollywood films where the hero’s sidekick ogles and makes an ass of himself when he sees a pretty woman. He thinks nothing of passing comments and approaching her…it is supposed to be amusing…

But its said that films reflect society and not the other way round…well, something is wrong with our society then.

Films will only influence only those who are susceptible. It’s like blaming television for the increasing violence in society…in this article which I wrote for the Times of India, I had spoken to several psychiatrists about whether violent behavior and television viewing was related, and all of them said that it was the home environment which mattered the most. And ofcourse- it also depended on how much TV you watched.
Certainly anyone who lives in the fantasy world of Bollywood will lose all sense of reality. He will fail to see that his favourite heroes on celluloid behave differently in real life. That in fact they are gentlemen. If the actors are acting in stupid movies which put a stamp of respectability on eve-teasing, well, its because film stars do not usually feel that they have a social responsibility. As for the directors, they are the ones who actually believe that a little bit of eve-teasing is harmless…

So common has eve-teasing become is that some men actually consider it the proper way to woo women. On my post on molestation I got several comments from men (I posted one, but deleted the others as they used bad language while referring to women) saying that eve-teasing was a good way to get to know the woman!! He said there was no other way to get to know women in a conservative society like ours. We like to blame lower class men for eve-teasing, but I doubt whether the man who wrote such a comment was a labourer. If he was, he would have been unable to write in English or would not had access to a pc.

There are those (although they do not eve-tease and molest women themselves) who feel that women make too much of a fuss about eve-teasing. Or that its not common…there are actually men who insist that molestation is not common because they haven’t seen it themselves! As if an eve-teaser will grope a woman if he thinks another guy is watching!

Faulty training at home
Where the eve-teasers in India are concerned – they come from a background where they are taught that women who go out are ‘bad’ girls and deserve to be teased. Or that the women don’t mind. Or that eve-teasing is a harmless activity… a way to get to talk to a pretty girl. These men could have also seen men in their own family treat women with scant respect.

Solutions?
Well, its only when the boot is on the other foot that the understanding grows. In this post I have written how a group of boys from the slums were shown how humiliated women feel when they are eve-teased. The program was conducted by social workers and there there was a lot of role-playing. After this the boys changed their attitude towards women…an attitude that had perhaps been ingrained in them by the milieu in which they lived.

Large scale programs need to be carried out by social service organisations to sensitise the boys who are prone to such behavior. These boys can be helped because most of the time they are not evil…they are not rapists and nor are they murderers. Just misguided and ofcourse – idiots.

Its also time that eve-teasing becomes a stigma in our society. Right now its looked upon with far too much indulgence. Men themselves should tell their friends who tend to tease girls that this behavior is unacceptable. If they catch their friend passing a lewd comment they should tell him that this is insulting to women…

Update: I read a report in the DNA this evening which said that the Railway Police conducted a drive to catch eve-teasers and they caught 159 boys (they were all boys below the age of 27) in just 4 days! These are just the ones they caught. Hundreds more must have got away….this makes one realise how widespread the problem actually is.

Related Reading: Methods to prevent public molestation in India
Reasons given by readers for Molestation and some solutions as well
Molestation at the Gateway of India and other incidents
The psychology of rapists
Men who see women as sex objects can improve with counseling
Teenagers in India have to lie about their relationships with the opposite sex
Dating is a prelude to marraige for Indian teens

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57 Comments leave one →
  1. July 24, 2007 9:45 am

    I did not know that this was such a problem in India. One of the things that startles me about this kind of behavior is that people seem unaware of the premise underlying it. Namely that women are, first and foremost, sex objects and worthy of respect that is relative to their value as sex objects. Which is not to say that women should never be seen as sex-objects, I happen to love being seen that way. But only be men who recognize that I am, first and foremost, a human being worthy of the same respect and consideration as a man.

  2. July 24, 2007 10:12 am

    Its good to have a point of view of someone from outside India…
    Well, a man to respect a woman, he would have to know her..a stranger cannot. If you are walking on the road and a man passes a cheap remark or tries to brush past you its very different than being an object of desire by a man whom you know. And even if you do know the man, he has to show his respect by respecting your boundaries. The minute the man realises that what he is doing is not being appreciated, he has to back off…that is the main point. if the man does not back off then I would consider it a lack of respect.

    • Mr. Arpit Bhargava permalink
      December 29, 2009 10:16 am

      Hello Shoma Chatterji

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  3. July 24, 2007 10:24 am

    We should have a basic level of respect for everyone. I have noticed that men tend to show a certain level of respect to other men, strangers or otherwise, and cannot help but wonder why this has not been extended to women. Your suggestion that men need to know a woman in order to respect her feeds into the philosophy which underlies the problem. Why do we need to know someone in order to respect them? Do we not all suffer? Do we not all have the same inherent worth? Respect should be a universal, not something earned, but something given freely until someone behaves in a manner which warrants it’s being withdrawn from them.

    What I am trying to say is that, if we all had respect for each other, as humans, then this might be less of a problem.

  4. July 24, 2007 10:39 am

    Ofcourse you are right. What I meant when I said about respecting strangers, this was not only in relation to women. It applies to men too…in the sense that you would have to know a man in order to respect him. So I did not mean to say that this only applies to women but I see that it may have sounded like that.
    However, what you are saying, about universal respect, yes I agree. Whether a person is poor or rich, or someone with different political leanings, different capabilities etc, yes we need to respect that person.

  5. July 24, 2007 11:05 am

    Which begs an interesting question; why do men, in general, have a difficult time showing female strangers the same level of respect that they show male strangers? Is it because they view women as sex-objects? I’m not sure. I cannot help but wonder if men (again speaking generally here) view women as inferior. After all, it is easy to devalue a person if you believe that the factors which separate them from yourself (in this case gender) should influence their moral worth.

    There is a lot of talk about gender equality, but not enough discussion about what that means. I want to say that universal respect plays into the meaning of gender equality in some way, but the issue is multi-dimensional and convoluted.

    I am thinking about all of my Indian friends, but they are female. And I have always felt that Hinduism does a good job of equalizing sexuality for both sexes, as far as religions go. However, that is based on an admittedly limited knowledge of it’s practices. Is there something within the Indian culture, or possibly Hinduism, that perpetuates the view of women as sex objects? I mean, I know that there are probably some things that every culture is suffering with right now. Remnants of earlier aggressively paternalistic cultures. But I am wondering about something unique to the Indian culture.

  6. Ramesh Natarajan permalink
    July 24, 2007 11:08 am

    Nita, I would say, the bad behaviour of the labourers in Dubai (in beaches..) is due to many social issues that are prevailing in Dubai. I am not trying to justify their behaviour, but, there underlying issues behind this need to be addressed to avoid such instances.

    The labourers stay in isolated labour camps, where 10-12 people live in a single room, they stay away from their family, meet them once in 2 years.. They are not even allowed to enter into public parks in Sharjah, as they were complained for being crowded on weekends there.. (Dubai Government is now building exclusive parks etc. for the Labourers, near the labour camps).

    Regards,
    Ramesh Natarajan, Dubai
    Global Indian

    Read this article : Sun Sand and Slavery.. The Guardian

    Disclaimer: The views expressed by the author in the Guardian Magazine does not necessarily reflect my views.

  7. sheethal permalink
    July 24, 2007 11:09 am

    I too watched the news about the 10 year old girl this morning and I am really astonished.. it is hard to believe that in a city like mumbai which is always flooded with people, things like this still happen.. I think the public should take some initiative.. if something like this happens in front of their eyes, they better do something rather than being an audiance as if some entertainment is going on.. I m sure the eve teasers will think twice and some fear of public might stop them.. lot of us have aspirations of working in mumbai.. incidents like this may discourage us..

  8. July 24, 2007 11:50 am

    Aikaterine, if you go back far enough into Indian culture and Hinduism you are likely to find enough instances of equality of men and women. Unfortunately, there are later books (Manu’s laws for example) which talk of women being inferior creatures. Now Manu was not a God, he was a writer, philosopher whatever. So the subjugation of women is not sanctioned by Hinduism, but various sages down the line tended to make it so. And then India has been invaded by both the Mughals (who brought in their view of women) and the British (who brought with them their Victorian values about women) and India has absorbed these cultures too…
    but really I think its time Indians went back to their roots…which is equality for men and women. In fact we have many goddesses in our religion, a woman is revered. But as I said this has been diluted over the years.
    Also what you said about men respecting male strangers more…well, this is prevalent everywhere here in India. Whether you walk into a shop or an office or into a social situation, men are given more respect and importance. I think this has something to do with fear, not just respect. A shopkeeper for example is not afraid of a woman. She is likely to be not powerful (in worldly terms) and so if there is a dispute he feels free to say whatever he likes, confident in the belief that the other will not abuse him, or hit him. You never know how a man will react to an insult.. why he might even be someone very influential!
    In a social situation men automatically assume that the men they are talking to are more important and if you take it in just worldly and financial terms, its true. Its the men who are in powerful positions, its the men who are likely to make a fuss if they are not satisfied, its the men who are more aggressive, more assertive…

  9. July 24, 2007 12:02 pm

    Ramesh, that example of Dubai was just an example. Dubai may be like a prison, but India is not.
    Its pretty bad here in India as well, except for places like Goa. In India you will not find girls lounging around in swimsuits in Chowpatty in Mumbai and Mumbai is a place where women are quite free. But if they sit around in a swimsuit at Chowpatty, they will be heckled and teased and ofcourse ogled at. I am sure this is the case in Pakistan as well. And in our case, it will not be labourers who do it. But educated people. So the poor living conditions (Like In Dubai) may simply make the problem worse…but It does not create the problem. For example, I know quite a few men who will not behave like that in whatever conditions they find themselves in.

  10. July 24, 2007 12:37 pm

    the only words that come into my mind is
    “tu haa kar, yaa naah kar… tu hai meere kiran….”

    yes bolywood does portray a very wrong image.

    • Seya Mendus permalink
      May 7, 2012 11:32 am

      thats true i think this complete bollywood should be distroyed

  11. July 24, 2007 12:43 pm

    People say easily that “east or west India is best”.. But I think we have long long way to go.. Eve-Teasing is a crime.. and people should understand by putting themselves in Victim’s shoes.. will they allow their family or relative to be treated like that? When we expect respect for our family from others then why not we can’t give respect to others in samilar way?

    Apart from awareness I think it’s our legal system responsibility too :

    1) Our legal system should function with rigorous montoring.. (like Hoysala in B’lore.. but it can be much better with use of CCTV type of devices)

    2) and Our court should act fast & strong for justice… for example recently in China someone was proscecuted for doing corruption and by that result not anyone easily would dare to do crime again?

  12. July 24, 2007 1:12 pm

    This incident is shocking. What shocks me more is that it could happen in a thickly populated city like Mumbai . I have heard that in Calcutta it is much safer for girls because there the reaction of general public to incidents like these is very strong.

  13. July 24, 2007 1:18 pm

    Here’s something I believe I’ve noticed: Men who do not respect women also do not really respect other men. They might fear other men who are more influential or powerful than them, but they fear — rather than genuinely respect — those men. If you really respect people, you respect them regardless of whether they are rich or poor, from this group or that group, powerful or not. If you only respect someone who is rich, or only someone from the “right” group, or only someone who is powerful, then you do not really respect people — you only respect riches, some group, or power.

    I do not trust a man who lacks respect for people.

    Yet, I think this problem of eve-teasing is not just limited to men and boys who habitually lack respect for people. It sounds to me like some of the men and boys who eve-tease do so because they have been taught to do so and because they do not understand how it humiliates women to be eve-teased. I think with education you might be able to reach those boys and men and change how they behave.

  14. July 24, 2007 2:20 pm

    It seems rather hopeless, doesn’t it? Inequality that deeply rooted (and not just in India). I have never been very good at solving the problems, just figuring out the right questions to ask. After that, my mind kind of blanks.

  15. July 24, 2007 2:39 pm

    Paul, yes I agree that this problem of eve-teasing goes beyond lack of respect for the victim. A man may lack respect for a woman but he may not indulge in eve-teasing …finally, its social conditioning.

    Prerna, I think the problem with Mumbai is that the city has few residents (as compared to other cities in India) who can call this city their own. The migrant population is very large. In calcutta this is not so…but there are incidents of eve-teasing in Calcutta too. But yes I believe that the public there is more responsive to a girl in distress.

  16. July 24, 2007 3:13 pm

    I’ve often wondered if our culture changes such that dating becomes acceptable, will it reduce eve teasing? May not across all sections of society, but will it make some difference among the educated folks?

  17. July 24, 2007 3:49 pm

    I agree Nita, social conditioning is the key to both understanding the problem and solving it. In the US, a sophisticated public relations campaigned funded by a major corporation to promote it’s interests can profoundly change public attitudes about something in as little as a decade — sometimes less! (I sometimes think that if we as a society spent as much money on public relations campaigns for good causes as Microsoft and others spend in self-interest, we would solve a lot of problems in fairly short order — but that’s another story.) At any rate, I am optimistic that the problem of eve-teasing could be greatly ameliorated through a good, sustained public relations campaign. I just don’t know who would fund it and see it through to its goal.

  18. July 24, 2007 4:16 pm

    I can see the point about it going beyond respect. Paul made some very good points. And I do hope that young men are amenable to education in this arena. I am, obviously, not Indian. However, I have always held a warm regard for the culture in my heart. I hate to see it marred by this kind of thing.

  19. July 24, 2007 5:41 pm

    Mahendra, dating and a society where boys and girls can mix freely without the society pointing fingers at them will go a long way in solving this problem. This behavior is not intrinsic to our culture, this hypocritcal attitude we have towards sex and dating. Boys and girls when they reach a particular age have desires and in the old days they simply got married. Today’s modern society means that this is not possible, so what are they to do? Watch pornography? I am afraid that is exactly what they do. And this makes the problem worse.
    In fact I believe we should go a step further and make sex toys legal so those who do not want to go to prostitutes can find an outlet.
    Suppressing any natural desire cause deep psychological problems. I have talked to some young 17 year olds when I was writing an article on teenage sex and they have confessed to me that they think of sex all the time! Can we change human nature…or is it even advisable to change it?
    The problem is that the people who insist on foisting on us their hypocritical attitudes towards sex are probably the ones who have several mistresses and other skeletons in their closets.
    And I agree with Paul, we need to some sort of campaign to convince people that what they are doing is wrong. Maybe have skits, advts, and short films which explain how the girl feels when she is teased.
    To fight this we need a multi-pronged approach.

  20. Shantanu Chatterjee permalink
    July 24, 2007 9:18 pm

    basically let us understand eve teasing:
    1.A breakdown of civic society.
    2.Lack of police to take appropriate action.

    The west before the pill was invented was as if not more prudish than what we are today but I am yet to hear of any comparable problem there.

    To combat it we need to be very very clear of what we as a society are prepared to take.
    St stephen’s college doesn’t have this problem.Why? because they have brutally rustigated 2-3 of these miscretants as an example to all other potential ones.Mind your Ps and Qs or else.

    What separates humans from animals is our ability to control our urges in public.Yes we all have some sort of thought when an excessively beautiful girl walks by this is normal what isn’t is the eve teasing that follows it is a damning indicment of our incompetence in executing our own laws.

  21. July 26, 2007 1:13 am

    I think policing is a very basic solution. You will see these eve-teasers on almost every corner but the moment police start nabbing some of them ,… they cease to exist!! constant policing is one imp solution.
    Another one is imbibing moral values and respect for women in a person’s mind. This is a difficult task but can be achieved if everyone supports!!

  22. July 26, 2007 8:59 am

    Apart from social responsibility.. Yes it’s more of Policing required.. At the moment in India police act very slow.. like in our Bolywood movies they always arrive in the scene during the End of the show.. I guess We have less number of police vs. population.. then I donno if it’s right to blame police.

    I was watching Times now showing Ayesha(mother of Asma) then Smriti Irani & usha Uttup .. all raising voice against Eve-Teasing.. with good support from Media.. Really good. and I was wondering still there is no LAW on Anti Eve-Teasing.

  23. mukesh permalink
    September 24, 2007 11:23 pm

    you think only men are responsible for eve teasing………

  24. April 29, 2008 11:18 am

    Very informative article. But I guess the problem is that these men still think that eve teasing is a great way to get the girl’s attention, they don’t even realize that they’re actually harassing the girl.

  25. shefali permalink
    July 22, 2008 1:33 am

    I know why eve teasing is so common: because in India, mixing between men and women is limited, with arranged marriages, no dating, etc. If they allow men and women to mix together, get rid of arranged marriages and allow dating, with respect to certain boundaries, then things will improve because people will not be so inhibited and then men have to resort to this nonsense. Moreover, women in India need to be stop being viewed as property and possessions of their families. Once this happens, then this will decrease. I am an Indian born and raised in the West, an from what i’ve seen, heard and experienced myself being in this culture, India really needs to get rid of certain old customs, and look to the future, then only will it improve.

  26. shefali permalink
    July 22, 2008 1:36 am

    LAstly, the corruption of law enforcement officials has to decrease tremendously. The Indian government indirectly promotes violence against women by taking bribes from pimps and such men, and the police not doing anything against sexual predators. The whole world knows how corrupt the Indian government is, and how poorly women are treated there, thus nobody wishes to deal with India socially or economically. The government and society is so so corrupt that the few people who are good can’t do anything. What a shame. Once this happens, then India will progess.

  27. September 2, 2008 6:50 pm

    Great Write up. Impressive.

  28. SKT permalink
    August 3, 2009 10:43 am

    It’s such a despicable behavior. When are we going to change? I personally think instead of depending on Government or police to taken action, we should start distributing pepper spray’s to women in India. Few burns will cure some idiots. I also think parents should take an active role and educate their kids about such social issues.

  29. vasudev permalink
    August 3, 2009 1:15 pm

    last evening while taking an evening a walk down a public road i found a young indian female walking her dog on the same road. the thing is, the female had exposed almost half her breasts through a very low top-cut plus worn a mini. there were many youngsters standing rooted and staring not really able to move. probably this is more effective than a pepper spray?

    • April 4, 2012 8:23 pm

      “You Indian female”? It is kind of hilarious how desi men talk about women as if they are some objects of clinical curiosity.

  30. Alina permalink
    September 2, 2009 7:17 pm

    Why cant we have sensible censorship for movies then.. i strrongly agree that such behaviour has creeped because of Bollywood

    • vasudev permalink
      March 13, 2010 11:16 pm

      alina…unfortunately it is the govt who confuses! there is a scorpion on every tobacco related product but why is there no ban on sales? commissions of course! now the world itself is a chain of commissions and all that you see is false propaganda. someone is running the world like a mafia don. india is just one such mafia collection centre.

    • Prasoon permalink
      December 13, 2011 9:08 am

      Alina, I dont agree at all with you. You being an adult cant say things like this.. I think that these Masala things are more in Hollywood muvees then why isn`t eve teasing a problem there??

      Prasoon, any man cat-calling or harassing a girl in a hollywood movie is a villain or the bad guy. In bollywood movies heroes do this. By “this” I mean force their attention on women and the women are shown to secretly like it and after continued harassment they fall for the guy. That is why many Indian men think the women like it and this is one of the causes of sexual harassment in India. Men have the deluded idea that women like it. Women, whether western or Indian, they don’t like to be harassed and do not fall in love with their harassers. Not in real life and not in hollywood movies either – Nita.

      • Prasoon permalink
        December 19, 2012 2:06 pm

        Nita, I do agree to your point on this. We guys I don`t know why think the way you are telling, that girls like cat-calling. And I really feel sorry to say that once I also thought like that only.

        • December 19, 2012 3:12 pm

          I am glad you realised it Prasoon. Remember that girls are human beings too. If boys do not like being cat-called, teased and molested or raped, girls also do not. The problem is that girls are not thought of as human beings, but as objects.

          • Prasoon permalink
            December 19, 2012 4:09 pm

            Nita, one thing I can assure you that I never considered girls as objects and as far as the society I belong to is considered, nobody thinks the way you are telling. But yes there can be people who thinks so, but not all of us.

            • December 19, 2012 4:50 pm

              Ofcourse not all of us. In fact the minority, say about 10 %. Unfortunately that is enough for the streets to be unsafe.

  31. Sneha permalink
    March 12, 2010 3:56 pm

    nice write-up. many of the views given by people here are really very true… men should take action againsnt it n tell their fellow mates that this kind of action is not at all justifiable and also it is henious…. in some places when women raise their voices they are molested to an extent that they lose their life… here in the college where i study, all the girls live in terror of getting teased n vulgar remarks from boys, the authorities are blind to this problem, the police never respond and the girls who raise their voices are teased more and more…. this is the situation in india…..

    • vasudev permalink
      March 13, 2010 11:12 pm

      don’t u remember the ‘panty’ initiative last yr by a group of highly radicalised fems (forget what it was called)? it is a start. have courage and if possible, organise a group of dare-devils. u wud be surprised to find how many men wud also join your group in support.

  32. prasoon permalink
    March 28, 2010 2:20 pm

    hey all, whatever u have written till now is all in favour of girls or rather u all think that eve teasers should be put to jail..
    but is there anyone who has ever pondered on the fact that why is this problem so severe in South Asia only???
    I have read a lot about eve teasing and i have found that the society itself is responsible for this problem..
    Denial of natural impulses in our society leads to a sort of discontentment in the youth leading them to take these sort of steps..
    although i dont say that these are justifiable because the one doing these things can also rape them up..but a type of social awareness towards these stuff is necessary and these instincts can be used in creative side also..

    But must say that the column is very well written and draws our attention to the serious topic….

    • vasudev permalink
      March 28, 2010 8:01 pm

      do not worry! we, in india (dunno about south asia) are fast turning neanderthals ourselves and it should be only a matter of a decade or even lesser time before animalistic skin shows and open sexual acts on the crowded beachs/busy roads/city buses/ office complexes etc etc. fail to draw attention of the passing gentry.

  33. sickofpests permalink
    April 15, 2011 1:55 am

    I certainly agree that it is a problem in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and elsewhere but it is not because of Bollywood or the notion that we have a conservative culture. I thought it was interesting that a commentator wondered if eve teasing would decrease if dating was acceptable…the answer is no. I am an American and the problem is called cat calling here and while dating is accepted and there is little influence of Bollwood, the problem persists. The media while a problem, is not the only problem. It has more to go with mens egos and showing off to their mates. The only way is to confront them if they don’t seem too dangerous. For instance, the other day, I told two guys to go saying whatever they said to me to their mother. Guys, think first. And ask yourself, would you do that if your mother was next to you? If the answer is no, dont do it!

  34. shashank permalink
    September 26, 2011 12:55 am

    great stuff guys…according to me dating should not be considered as tabboo in india and it will help improve the condition…i feel sorry for such perverts coz they are so desperate and helpless that they decide to be such bas**rds and eve tease…being a boy and i m 22 year old and dont have any sister but still i can atleast feel how girls in our society would be facing these perverts eveyday..i swear i’ll do my everybit to stop this crime in every possible way i can..i just cant express my anger over here..well here in lucknow police is also helpful in matter of eve teasing so guys please…from bottom of my heart lets just help in abolishing this heinious crime in every possible way we can…i will for sure..

  35. Intellectual permalink
    December 10, 2011 5:08 pm

    Indian men are sex-starved. As pre-marital sex considered as offense by conservative Indian society, marriage has become the only means of getting legitimate sex. Normal age for a man in India to get married is 27-28 years, just think of staying virgin till that age with all the stimulating stuff that is displayed on media. I am 25 years old, I used to hang out with eve teasers (and I am very ashamed of it now) until I met a girl with whom I am in sexual relationship from past 3 years, now I disgust and pity those eve-teasers.

    The only solution to this problem is creating awareness at school level. When I was in 9th grade my biology teacher refused to teach a lesson on human reproduction and told us to read for ourselves, may be he was too ashamed to talk about sex. If this is the mentality of Indians on sex, no wonder why eve teasing has become such a social menace. This so called self-control thing used to work in India until 1980s, when society was less exposed to sex. Now with globalization and western influence on teens, they are getting more than enough arousal but no way to let it out. So boys are finding cheap ways like eve-teasing as temporary relief.

    As for the foreigners (westerns) who loose their virginity at the average age of 17-18, Indian social conditions are very different, so don’t conclude on anything based on what you read in articles. And for those who say – men treat women like sex objects, they don’t know how to treat them otherwise. They never really had the opportunity to get to know the real she. Girls are only allowed to hangout with other girls, and so as boys. Only some parts of urban India are exceptions to this. In rural India still a simple chat between a boy and a girl attracts unwanted attention. I am talking about rural India because these are the same people who later migrate to cities to make a living. So a girl is still a mystery to an average Indian boy. Even after marriage men continue the same attitude towards their wife as well as other women.

    Just one point: What you are saying applies to women as well. When women are sex starved they do not resort to eve-teasing. – Nita

    • Intellectual permalink
      December 14, 2011 9:25 pm

      Hello Nita, thanks for making time to respond, I feel honoured. You are absolutely right, no women in her right mind would go for eve-teasing, sex starved or not. But given certain amount of social and financial freedom along with a secured environment like college or office don’t they resort to flirting or seduction?

      Are we really comparing Indian men and women under same context? India being a male-dominated society, women are oppressed gender, deprived of financial as well as social freedom. Providing these, who knows what they resort to? Unfortunately you and me are not gonna live that long to find out… But we can take examples of West where men too are victims of women in some cases. My point is women are equally capable of good and evil, just like men.

      • December 15, 2011 11:35 am

        Ofcourse women and men are equally capable of evil, no doubt about that. However aggression in itself is more overt in men, and women as you say could resort to more passive aggressive ways to assert themselves. I can think of some ways of passive aggression that can emotionally harm men, but I do not think that flirting or seduction is in that category. Men also flirt and flirting is not teasing in any sense. When it comes to seduction, there are men too who seduce women by promises of marriage and then abandon them, so here too men and women are equally culpable.

  36. Prasoon permalink
    December 13, 2011 9:05 am

    Hi all, I am a guy and was a victim of a campaign started by the Jodhpur Police Dept called “Operation Romeo” to limit this very problem of eve-teasing, and on that very day I came to know that How big a problem this is in India… And there also Police were trying to increase their number and not to catch the culprits… from this incident only I came to know that why such problems are here in our society…

    Secondly, I have a lots of female frnzz and while talking to them they tend to tell their stories regarding such incidents and then I came to know the fact that at certain level they enjoy being called “Item and other such words” (not being offensive) and what always has been given the highest mark among all other reasons for eve teasing “guls wearing provoking outfits” was also confirmed. Girls wear such dresses to get attention of the seekers and when this attention takes a ugly shape it is defined as Eve Teasing.

    Still if anyone is wearing anything, does `t mean that you are gonna rape her…!!! Boys really need to change their mentality. Still not always they are the culprits but at the end of the day the one who is given the blame of all is the guy… So I think eve teasing is an equal problem for guys as well.

    An incident from recent past in NOIDA is a good example for this. A gul just took lift from a guy and then after reaching a bit of residential area tried to rob the guy and warned him that she would start shouting if he refused. And when the girl started shouting the guy was beaten to a level by the people there that he was admitted to ICU.

    So PLEASE stop always blaming guys for this thing….

    • May 7, 2012 11:45 am

      yes im agree with ur view mr Prasoon what do u have any method to recognise that a boy looking at girl has bad or good feeling.

  37. Ruki permalink
    January 13, 2012 4:52 pm

    some girls are just asking for tease, by the way they dress

  38. upinder permalink
    February 11, 2012 11:59 am

    I don’t think that dressing is responsible for it. I am 24 year old from Punjab . Such incidence has also happened with me . I was walking to my work place and a guy passed vulgar comment to me , i retorted back and then there was exchange of hot words. It was winters and I was wearing long coat with salwar. I called the cops there and one of them whispered to other that at least he should make her naked.

    This is the attitude of our police which states that girls walking on roads are everybody’s property.

    I am sure that government is not going to do any thing for this. We all have to do something for it. if somebody’s have any inspiring thought or idea please post it. Girls have all the right to walk freely on roads

  39. poonam tomar permalink
    February 16, 2012 9:27 am

    hey frnds,me b apka sath dena chahti hu me hmesa female gender k hq me ldna chahti thi or ye ek msg nhi mere liye opportunity he me mhilaon k hq,unki strength,unki tolerance power se puri duniya ko dikhana chahti hu k nari kya he.mujhe ap logon k sath k jrurt he so pls rply me

  40. May 7, 2012 11:38 am

    i think in india there should be a large number of karate or martial art training centres at resonable rates to train the girls against EVE TEASING.this is the only way to stop wrong doers if they dont understand any simple language.

  41. kadirpanwala permalink
    October 15, 2012 12:56 am

    main problem is lack of socialization…and the narrow minded ness of cheap people…coz harassment has gone much up than figures..we need people to think little broadly and have a own class…

  42. sana rana permalink
    December 18, 2012 4:03 pm

    stop raping a girl… Luk at ur mon, ur sis is siting at hot .. If this shit is happens wd them what will u do??? Respect every women…

  43. viperduo permalink
    December 28, 2012 8:00 am

    I may not be an expert on this but if the legal system is tightened in this area the attitudes of perpetrators might change. If a people knew that they could get away with a certain crime. The crime will be more rampant because either the penalty isn’t great or the attitude of the law is exceedingly lenient. Furthermore there have been many cases of people with political-backing walking away scot-free. This is a problem with any crime not just “eve-teasing”.

    Another area that might influence this is societal views on “eve-teasing”. Is it still generally believed that the victim deserves it? Is it still generally believed that women are not as important or equal to men? Is it still generally believed that “eve-teasing” is harmless? What is the connotation of the term “eve-teasing”? Why is it an umbrella term for sexual harassment, molestation, rape and other detestable crimes? Call it what it is and call the ones who perpetrated it what they are!

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