A reader, Rohit, sent me an email asking me my opinion on an issue many couples face. This problem afflicts a small section of urban educated couples, but it does seem to have become a serious source of conflict and at times it can lead to a break-up. The question is:

Should a working couple share the financial burden equally?

A part of Rohit’s email:

With changing times in educated urban class dowry is no more. Since the girls are also working and earning more the Indian girl has to share the marriage, honeymoon & family expenses equally along with boy. But Indian girls are using word tradition and demanding the guy is responsible for expenses.

Rohit feels that this is most unfair.

Minal, a reader, has contributed to this post. She writes:

This would be a classic case of what you would call pseudo-feminism. These women, and some men coolly forget the fact that rights come only with responsibilities and duties. If you wish to equal the men you should be prepared to equal them in their burdens too.

Minal calls this a “selective form of feminism.” On one hand women are freed from the pressure to perform traditional household duties like cooking and cleaning, and yet they are unwilling to share other responsibilities, and this could mean financial responsibility or “outside” work which is traditionally a man’s job. For example taking the car to the garage or fixing things around the house or spending her salary. Minal believes that the total responsibility of the house, should be shared equally and that each partner has to come to an understanding about what he/she feels more comfortable doing. It’s not what one partner does, but how much she/he does that counts.

Well, if a woman is earning and the man is sharing the household chores equally with her, it makes sense that her salary be considered a part of the joint income.

What I feel uncomfortable with is the squabbling over the division of duties, and the reasons are personal. My experience was very different. For my husband and me sharing fell into place naturally. When it came to my earnings we never discussed it but I spent as well as saved it. My husband never asked me as to how much of it I spend and how much I save. Now when I look back I think we spent about 90% of his salary and about 60-70% of mine, and well, my salary was less than half of his. However if we ever needed money for a major expense, out came my cheque book and it was never a big deal. It could be a washing machine or a small out-of-town trip, but if we fell short, as we invariably did in those days, the money would come from my savings. In any case, both of our accounts were joint accounts.

The responsibility of the house was entirely mine, which meant supervision of household help, grocery shopping, supervision of workmen, cooking and looking after the children. This was not because my husband didn’t want to help, but simply because his job at the time involved a lot of travelling, often 15-20 days a month. His working hours were almost double that of mine even when he was in town. If he was home he was always willing to help with breakfast and invariably made the morning tea. I never resented the fact that I had to take on the major share of the household responsibilities (and no, we had no cook and no ayah) because I knew my hubby was working very hard. And I was too, although it was at a different thing. More important, this had been my choice. If I had chosen full-time work my husband was ready to support me. And in fact he did, about five years later, when I decided to go back to full-time work.

But I can see where couples can run into trouble. When there is no compromise, from one or both sides.

I believe that feel this issue of women being reluctant to share their income is more about personalities rather than anything else. If one partner is more selfish he/she is likely to shirk his/her duties and it may have nothing to do with “modernity” or “feminism” or “working women.” Just as there will be men who will not lift a finger in the house even if their wife is on her feet the whole day, and sometimes half the night if there are small children, there are women (who could be housewives) who expect their husbands to come home from work and cook for them. Just as there are men who expect their wife to bring in the salary and hand it over to them, and also have a hot meal ready for when they come home, there are women who refuse to think of their salary as that belonging to the family. Maybe it is because they feel insecure, but the result is that her spouse may start to resent the fact that he is working inside and outside the home, but his wife isn’t.

I am quite sure that there are far more women at the receiving end of the stick than men, but amongst the highly educated young middle class, it is possible that both men and women are equally guilty. However I have no numbers to provide here. One will have to delve into all the recent divorce cases amongst modern urban couples which have taken place due to a rift caused by the division of responsibilities and see whether it is the man who is to blame for not contributing equally to the household (financially or otherwise) or the woman.

(Photo is copyrighted to me)

Related Reading: What kills a marriage quicker: A physical affair or an emotional one?
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Checking out the other sex

15 years ago the Indian economy kick started but the bad news is that the north eastern states (and some others) didn’t ride along. The most recent news is that the north eastern states are “on a downward spiral.” While this may not be quite correct, what is true is that certain states in India did not keep up. At one time the income of the seven north-eastern states was above the national average and today it isn’t. Mizoram and Tripura are doing better and I wondered why. Well, these two states are the most dependent on agriculture, with 75% of Tripura’s economy dependent on it, and  70% of Mizoram’s economy.

The states which are only half dependent on agriculture and depend on exports, tourism, cottage industries, food and timber products, chemicals and other industrial products have stagnated. Considering that the north eastern states are poor on infrastructure, whether it’s power, roads, airports or hotels, this stagnation is inevitable.

No returns
The central government is pumping money into the north east. In fact for over a decade now, all central government ministries have been setting aside 10% of their annual budgets for the north-eastern states. When it comes to actual figures, from 1998-2006, upwards of Rs 42,600 crore was given to the northeast. So, what’s happened to the money? Here are some ways it must have been “used”:

1. Some of it has been underutilized, simply not spent due to inefficiency and tardiness.
2. Some has been eaten up, a sorry tale of the whole of India. Whether it’s government babus, officials, politicians or contractors, in India it is some sort of a rule that a slice of developmental funds is set aside for thieves and anti-nationals.
3. Some funds are diverted. Funds meant for rural development find their way into urban development, to build luxury hotels and malls. This creates a lopsided development model.
4. Some developmental funds land up with terrorist outfits who do not allow any developmental works unless they are fed. And from businessmen to government employees, they all seek “protection” from terrorist groups. It’s becomes a vicious cycle of expenditure for the government, which is then forced to spend on increased security.
5. Illegal Bangladeshi migrants not only add to the infrastructure woes of the state, these foreigners are often used by Pakistan based terror outfits. This creates a communal divide and more security problems. Politicians do not get rid of these foreigners due to vote bank politics.

It’s not as if these problems are restricted to the north east alone. All states in India are infected with the corruption virus and many are afflicted with the insurgency bacteria as well.

How much does money help?
Clearly the solution is not to stop giving away funds, but I could not help comparing this to the controversy over foreign aid to poor countries. In fact criticism about foreign aid to poor countries has increased. Foreign aid has not worked well in sub-Saharan Africa.  Studies have shown that just as countries with abundant natural resources tend to be laid back, countries dependent on foreign aid (which can be viewed as a resource, although an unnatural one) also tend to be laid back .

What’s worse, political and business factions vie with each other to control the flow of resources and this leads to more corruption and infighting. In Africa for instance it is believed that Somalia’s civil war was caused by the desire of different factions to control the large food aid that the country was receiving.

Ofcourse one can argue that foreign aid to developing countries and central government funding for poorer states are two different things, but I do think that there are lessons to learnt here.

Demarking funds and handing over money to government departments is not enough. Unless good political and “policy” environments are developed, an unlimited flow of funds into the state coffers will not be used effectively.

Why not do other things, like the central government increasing their efforts to find good domestic and export markets for the goods from the north-east and ensure good prices? More efforts can be made to lure reliable private parties into the states. Microfinancing can be expanded as well.

The quality of educational institutions needs to be improved to ensure that people from the northeast get all the opportunities at their doorstep. Literacy is high, but the region does need good quality higher educational institutions.

I am not an economist, and these are just my thoughts which readers are welcome to expand on.

(Map from The Economist)

Related Reading: Read all the other posts on the North-East of India
Read all posts on Development in India and the Indian Economy.
More posts: All of India’s 8 north-eastern states are not disturbed areas!
Naxalism – some reasons and some solutions

This is an average film for those who don’t mind a bizarre story, sitting through a long (almost three hours) film and Salman Khan and Ajay Devgan, the two lead characters. For those who shy away from Bollywood kitsch, this film is bad.

The major problem with this film (directed and produced by Vipul Shah)  is the mismatch between the actors and the story. The story is about two young aspiring youngsters, Arjun (Ajay Devgan) and Mannu (Salman Khan) who enter the world of pop music and form a band which plays Indipop. What is completely unbelievable is to see two middle-aged men playing this role. They look middle-aged, particularly Salman. This is a film which called for young actors. The days when middle aged actors in the film industry played young men in their twenties is long gone. Thankfully Asin, who plays the role of Priya, a part of the band, looks her part. However her characterisation is woefully inadequate. She comes across as a paper cut-out. Not that the characterisation of the other two is anything special. They come across as unbelievable characters.

Another drawback of the film is that although the film is about music, it isn’t really about music. One keeps getting the feeling that Arjun, who wants to make it in the music world, wants success, and it is not music that he is passionate about. This is so unlike Rock On, where all the characters’ lives revolve around music! I am sure that the director wanted to convey the impression that the film is about music, but it didn’t come through, not through the characters. And then, when a film is about music, one expects awesome music. While the music is good (Shankar Ehsaan Loy) , it is nowhere near awesome. Again, I couldn’t help comparing it to the music of Rock On.

The theme of this film is a good one. It’s about how the relationship between two friends changes once they grow into adults and enter the same profession. It is also about how one can sabotage one’s own success because of one’s own insecurity and jealousy. Being successful is all about concentrating on one’s success, not destroying another’s. The film is also about the self-centeredness of one friend and the selflessness of the other. The theme is an interesting one, but executed poorly. Sure, the film is not an absolute bore (again, if you don’t mind Bollywood) but it did drag in several places. It was too long.

I don’t know why directors continue to make films where the “hero” acts in a crass way with women, even in 2009. Sure, the “hero” who does this in the film is a village bumpkin but why portray villagers this way? I mean, making lewd remarks, staring up their skirts (even in adulthood), staring at their bodies in an obvious way and propositioning every good looking woman? There is also another guy in the band who refers to women as “butter chicken” and this is supposed to be humour, but when will directors realise that women don’t find this type of humour funny. The scene in which Mannu is shown misbehaving with an airhostess, in real life, the airhostess would have complained to the Captain and the person would have been offloaded or perhaps cuffed to his seat.

All in all, this film is an avoidable one. The most stupid thing about it is the story. Yes, there is a story, but it’s too ridiculous to even mention.

(Movie poster is from bollywoodworld.com)

Related Reading: All Movie Reviews

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh just met the Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao and they talked peace. Strangely, there was no mention of the tensions over Arunachal Pradesh.  But why avoid the issue? According to the Indian army chief, between 2006 and 2008, Chinese intrusions doubled from 140 incidents to 270. That’s not all. China keeps screaming if our politicians travel to Arunachal, and keeps making claims about Arunachal being part of China. The British drew a disputed Line , but they left a long time ago, so why the sudden aggression?

We should thrash out this issue soon. Or are we going to do it at a later date, when things get worse? Are we going to wait until China brings it up and react defensively?

Funnily, Arunachal is more integrated with India than most other north eastern states. Its people speak Hindi as a link language for one thing. And even otherwise they have a strong Indian identity. Plus, in the latest assembly election they had a 72% voter turnout! In fact Arunachalis are willing to fight and give up their lives to keep China out. They know that joining China means complete obliteration of their indigenous culture. The trouble China will face if it ever annexes Arunachal will be much more than what they are experiencing in Tibet.

I am sure China knows this, and with their present problems with the Uighurs in Xinjiang and in Tibet, the last thing they want is more violence. Ofcourse China’s AP hysteria maybe a long term strategy, but on the other hand China might have another agenda.

What could China’s agenda be? Here are a few theories which I gathered from reading on the subject:

1. China wants to expand its territory, it wants Arunachal Pradesh. And eventually plans to annex it. Sounds ridiculous for a country in 2009, but is China in 2009?
2. China is acting like a big bully and flexing its muscles because it has now become an economic power.
3. China doesn’t want Arunachal at all, but it surely covets Tawang, which used to be a part of Tibet. China annexed Tibet, but the British had made Tawang a part of India. A lot of Tibetans live in Tawang and China fears that this is where they could create trouble for China. So, China’s plans (at a later date) would be to agree to give up claims on AP in exchange for India giving up Tawang.
4. What China really wants to do is destabilize India because it doesn’t want a powerful neighbour. Is it worried that it won’t be the only powerful country in Asia? Is China insecure about it’s own growth? Is it worried that its export-led economic model is not as good as India’s more balanced economy? Or that India will gang up against it with the other democracies once it  becomes economically stronger? And is that why China is using the same destructive strategy that Pakistan employed for the last two decades to try and destroy India? Here are some examples:

• • China clandestinely supports anti-India groups in India (Assam, Kashmir and the North East). Sure we don’t have hard proof just as yet, but then we didn’t have it of Pakistan’s involvement for many years either. China is friends with Pakistan, which everyone knows is the hub of terrorists activities of the world. China has also helped Pakistan with its nuclear capabilities. And it has helped Pakistan with weapons.  You can read more about China’s growing role in PoK (Pakistan Occupied Kashmir) here.
  • China was reluctant to support the U.N. sanctions against Lashkar-e-Taiba and its front, Jammat-ud-Dawa, the organizations responsible for the Mumbai hotel attacks. Finally China was forced to give in.
  • China is opposed to India being made permanent member of the United Nations Security Council.
  • There have been news articles in the Chinese media about breaking up India. No articles in the Chinese media appear without the government’s approval.
  • Chinese supports anti-Indian factions in Nepal.
  • The Chinese has had a “String of Pearls” strategy for India for some time now. This strategy basically refers to China’s geo-political influence around India. The Chinese pearls are Myanmar, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Mauritius, Seychelles and Pakistan and apparently a signals intelligence unit has come up on Cocos Islands, near the Andamans. You can read more about this subject here.

5. China wants to divert the attention of its citizens from its own social and economic problems. Apparently China has a rather serious problem on its hands in Xinjiang, far more so than it is letting on. China is also facing economic problems and it’s not just due to the economic disparity in its country, but also because many factories have closed down recently, forcing labour to go back to the countryside.
6. China is worried about Indo-US ties and wants to weaken India.

You can take your pick but if you ask me I think that China has little understanding of democracy (it saw Prime Minister Manmohan Singh’s campaigning in Arunachal during the elections as threatening to it) and has no idea as to how the world has changed. It will never be able to manage the Arunachalis, who love India and love democracy and have been a part of India for more than half a century.

Countries with political systems such as China’s are naturally aggressive. In any case, I doubt that China will really take Arunachal Pradesh for reasons mentioned earlier in the post. Sure, it wants to dominate in Asia but they know that they will have to brutally suppress the culture of the Arunachalis to rule them and that is not something they want to tackle. At least not now. I believe that China is simply playing a game, in the hope of getting India to give up Tawang and back off from its claim on Aksai Chin. India says Aksai Chin is a part of Jammu and Kashmir and China which is holding Aksai Chin, says it’s part of China.

The Future
Pessimists like Gordon Chang (writes a weekly column for Forbes), author of The Coming Collapse of China, feel that the Arunachal problem could erupt into war, but there are others, like B. Raman, a retired Additional Secretary from India, who feel more optimistic and believe that “expanding economic relations between the two countries will ultimately moderate the Chinese position and facilitate a mutually acceptable compromise”. I think the truth lies somewhere inbetween. As I mentioned earlier I doubt that China will want war but I also doubt that China will want to compromise in any way except in a way which will benefit it.

The Solutions (from what I have read)
Pursue diplomacy aggressively. Misunderstandings and miscalculations can often escalate the issue.
Stop sensationalisation of the issue. Sensationalising the border issue, whipping up jingoistic sentiment amongst the public can be dangerous.
However, make the public aware. Give out the correct information.
India needs to be militarily prepared because China is.
We need infrastructure along the Line of Actual Control. China has it.
We need to ensure that our side of the story is told to the rest of the world.
The security forces should police the Indo-China Border, but do so without any noise.
Development of Arunachal Pradesh should be undertaken.
India should address the issue. Speak up and use all diplomatic means to solve the issue. There has been a beginning. For example, India has recently said that China must stop all its activities in Pak-Occupied Kashmir, which is a disputed territory. India also spoke up against Chinese objections to our PM’s visit to our own state.

(The photograph is from China.org and was taken during the 2008 meeting and map credits: travels.talash.com))

Related Reading: All posts on China.

I love nature and nothing gives me more peace that being under the  bare sky with nothing in sight except pure nature.  The more devoid such places are of human habitation, the better it is. Being in a deserted place makes it easier to communicate with nature. Whether it is a sunset, or a lake or a mountain, the joy is in being alone with it. The feeling itself is difficult to describe. I would like to say it’s a spiritual feeling, spiritualism of the ultimate kind. I can understand why early man thought nature was God. Nature is godly. I know I’ll get this feeling if I ever leave the Earth and go  into Space.

I’ve been lucky to see many such breathtakingly beautiful and isolated places in India, whether near Ooty, near Uri in Kashmir,  or in Arunachal and Assam, as I come from an Army background and got to see places untouched by tourism. In India an area which is  ”protected” retains its natural beauty. Either that or places which no one has heard of and no one goes to.

Switzerland has many isolated spots where one can enjoy nature and the best part is that the ordinary public has access to them. Whether poor or rich. The area needn’t be cordoned off because it’s a “protected” area. It’s an area accessible to all and sundry, but it has a  ”protected” look. The Swiss protect their land. They leave no traces of their human presence, thus enabling  others to enjoy the place. They leave it as they find it. This quality seems to be ingrained in them. It’s an awesome quality.

Here is a photograph of a lake on the way to Mount Titlis. From the photograph below you can imagine why we fell in love with Lake Trüb although no photograph can do justice to the beauty of the place. One has to be in this valley to know what it is like. It’s gigantic, surrounded by massive mountains and their icy streams. To get an idea as to how large the lake is, you can check the second photograph and see the boat house which is a barely visible dot in the first photo at the bottom right of the lake. We walked down to this lake, from the point from where we took the photo.


I took hardly any photos of the lake because I wanted to enjoy it. Ever notice how taking photographs disturbs the true enjoyment of a place? We spend several hours walking around the lake and simply drinking it in. There were hardly any people here although we did see a few picnickers who came and left, leaving no evidence that they had ever been there. Apparently there are also tourist excursions to see the 4 lakes around Lucerne but most tourists on packages don’t take this tour.

Here are photographs of the surrounding area. The first two photographs were taken from the cable car:

This is a photograph of a cow which is sitting alone. I took it because I thought it encapsulated the spirit of the place. The lonliness, the isolation, the peace and tranquility.

The next photograph is from another area, on the way from Interlaken to a place they call Top of Europe. This is the train that we took

And this is a view from a speeding train on the way from Paris to Zurich. You can  get an idea of how fast the train was moving.

These are just some of my favourite photographs, the ones that have great memories for me. If you ever go to Switzerland, be sure to go off the beaten track. And if you ever go to any beautiful place in India leave it as beautiful as you found it.

(All photographs are by me and copyrighted)

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No one likes to be thought of as an “old” man or “old” woman. No wonder we keep changing our definition of what old age is as we grow older. At fourteen, thirty seems old and forty middle aged! As you turn 30, you tend to believe you are in the prime of life and funnily you think the same when you hit 40! Or 45 for that matter.

A Pew survey conducted in the USA amongst a sample size of 2,969 people, revealed that although the under 30’s tended to think that old age hits one at 60,  few 65 year olds agreed!

“Old age” is supposed to bring with it some “signs” or “markers” like memory loss or loneliness, but even here is a dichotomy between what young people think will happen (in old age) and what older adults actually experience. The so-called markers of old age like illness, memory loss, an inability to drive, an end to sexual activity, loneliness, depression, and financial difficulties were experienced at a much lower level than expected. And well, it goes without saying that those who are better off financially experience less ageing problems.

However, it was also true that older adults reported getting fewer “benefits” of ageing than they expected, like spending more time with their family, traveling more for pleasure, more time for hobbies, doing volunteer work or starting a second career.

So all in all it seems that we tend to exaggerate our fears of old age and tend to overplay the benefits!

But when does a person become old?
Now that we know that crossing the age of 60 doesn’t necessarily bring with it some sort of disability, it makes us wonder, what is the finishing line for middle age?Is it all about feeling young, or is there an age which you cross after which you fall in the “old” bracket?

Well, it is clear that people do tend to go by what they “feel” and if they feel young, they are sure that they are not old! And people feel young as long as they are active and not dependent on others. In the United States people in their eighties tend to slow down considerably, and think of themselves as old then. In India, if we only talk of the urban middle classes, perhaps the eighties would hold good too. I know several people who lead very active lives (relatively speaking) in their in their seventies. My parents are certainly in this category of elderly active people. They don’t think of themselves as “old.”

However, the truth is that there is an age at which the general public categorizes you as old. That age, the survey revealed, is 68.

Is it any different in India? Well, amongst poorer people in India this figure would change. There would be a gap of at least a decade. People who lead physically hard lives, and don’t take in adequate nutrition, or are unable to afford the right medicines, tend to age fast and tend to also suffer the markers of old age far more than their better off brethren.

Life of the elderly in India
I found a paper on conditions of elderly people in India and it says that life for the elderly is difficult in developing countries, particularly for elderly women as they are not economically secure and may be widows. Also people who do physical labour are unable to continue after a certain age and as they have no “benefits” to fall back on they become dependent on their children.  According to the findings of the paper, states like Haryana, Bihar, Jammu & Kashmir, and Punjab offer a better quality of life to their elderly than states like Andhra Pradesh, Maharashtra, Kerala, West Bengal, Tamil Nadu and Uttar Pradesh. The writer of the paper has said that the more traditional societies tend to stay in joint families, thus offering a better quality of life to the elderly. On the other hand, development and a breakdown of the joint family system in some states has affected the life of the elderly. Therefore the trends are clear. India is heading towards a stage where more and more elderly parents will be on their own.

(While the two graphs are from Pew, the photograph is by me)

Related Reading: Old People in India are not ill-treated
Are adult children in India too dependent on their parents?

Of late advertisers have bombarded the public with ads and television commercials of the ipill (emergency contraceptive pill). This has made a lot of people panic, from the moral guardians of our society, to the Advertising Council of India to doctors and the government as well. So much so that the Drug Controller General of India (DCGI) might change the ipill from an OTC (Over-The-Counter) drug to a prescription drug instead. I think this would be a mistake.

What’s it like in other parts of the world? Well, scores of countries allow the sale of the drug. For example, Estonia, Russia, United Kingdom, USA, Canada, three countries in South America, five in Africa and Asia (China, India, Malaysia, Thailand and Sri Lanka), Israel (only one in the middle east) and Australia and New Zealand. In most of these countries it is freely available over the counter without prescription (although with age restrictions) but in countries like Ireland, Italy, and Romania the buyer needs a medical prescription.

So if the ipill is an OTC drug in India, it’s not something unusual. It stands to reason that the Indian government took the decision to make the ipill an OTC drug. India follows aggressive family planning policies.

The ipill is nothing new. The emergency contraceptive pill has been in the market for some years now, although the hysteria around it started recently, along with the advertising blitzkrieg. Earlier, awareness of the existence of such a pill was low, what with doctors having been hesitant to recommend it to their patients. Apparently they think that it might encourage promiscuous behavior. Well, that is what one study says. Or maybe the ipill is simply not on top of mind with doctors, considering that it is not supposed to be a method of birth control, just an emergency pill. Nor can I imagine people rushing to their doctors after one “accident.” It could be embarrassing and they might fear a moral lecture. Therefore, making it a prescription drug may not work very well. India needs the ipill.

Studies show:

..that emergency contraceptive pills can prevent 75-85% of unintended pregnancies, if used within 72 hrs of unsafe sex. The women who had unsafe sex, had contraceptive failure, or had sexual assault can resort to emergency contraception(EC) to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
Though, legally one can opt for termination of pregnancy in India, but still owing to social reasons, majority of adolescents visit quacks instead of getting it done in medical institutions. Inspite of EC being available over the counter in India, still the rate of teenage and unintended pregnancies are high owing to it being the underused and unknown method. Also, the misconception that EC is an abortifacient and that its use promotes irresponsibility as well as promiscuous lifestyle particularly among adolescents, contribute to its under prescription by health professionals to prevent unintended pregnancies.

The ipill does more good than harm. The ipill is quite safe to use ocassionally, and there are no serious side-effects. Also, the risk of an unwanted pregnancy and attendant complications far outweighs the risk of taking it. So as long as one remembers that it is not a regular birth control pill, all is fine. Unfortunately, reports indicate that people are misusing this pill.

Misleading advertising is the culprit. If a young 23 year old domestic worker wants to buy Kellogg cornflakes as a “health tonic” you can imagine how she is going react to an advert of the ipill. And when it comes to educated people, they might use the ipill once too often, not quite understanding the implications of it, despite having read about the risks. It’s the same reason why people smoke despite knowing the risks and why people eat too much despite knowing that they are overweight. When it comes to contraception, people might be tardy when it comes to practicing it and take the easy way out. Take it the morning after.

The advertising does not emphasise emergency use strongly enough, and it also says that using the ipill can provide “tension-free” sex. This also seems to indicate that the advertisements are encouraging “free” sex, and has given rise to fears that such advertising will encourage promiscuity.

Does the free availability of the ipill and the advertising of it encourage promiscuity? I do not believe so. I doubt whether misleading advertising by itself can actually increase sexual activity in any significant way. Although there have been no studies in India regarding this, studies in other parts of the world have shown that selling the ipill as an OTC drug does not increase promiscuity.

I am sure that contraception by itself has given rise to a world where people can have “tension-free” sex. The ipill is but one kind of contraceptive method, and just by itself cannot possibly impact a society so  much as to change sexual mores.

What needs to be done is to ensure that the advertising is truthful and responsible. The harmful effects of taking this drug on a regular basis need to be well advertised. What people need to know is that the emergency contraceptive pill is strong, “two to five” times stronger than one normal birth control pill. You can now deduce the harm it can do if it is had too often. But I do hope the government doesn’t make it go underground by making it a prescription drug. The ipill gives women control over their own body and that’s important.

(Minal has helped me research this post).

Related Reading: Will the ‘Sex Toy’ condom be banned in India?
Indian youth get their knowledge of sex mostly from friends, porno films and “self-reading.”
The culture vultures hate pre-marital sex

This post has been written for BlOG ACTION DAY

It’s time to be preoccupied with global warming and climate change. Each one of us. This post is just a reminder to all of us that we  need to think of the earth as something very dear which is being abused by the human race. And each one of us needs to do our bit for the earth. Believe me, what you can do is not too little. Nothing is ever too little, but yes some things can happen too late. So don’t be late. Here are some things that you can do to keep this earth beautiful. Because not all of us can join big movements and not all of us can make huge changes. Let’s save the earth in every which way.

None of these tips given below are original. I scribbled them down, writing them as they occurred to me. I’ve probably read them somewhere, sometime. For example the first tip I read in a magazine called Femina more than a decade back. And yes, I do use an old sock in my kitchen!

• Use an old sock to clean your kitchen counter. This material lasts a long time, it’s easy to clean, and if you wring it well enough before using it will give a shine to the surface. You will save on washing soap and will also be re-using a discarded sock. If by any chance you use paper, then you are going to do a lot of good if you change to a sock.
• If you use toilet paper, it’s best to install a Handheld Portable Bidet Sprayer in your bathroom if you don’t have one already. This saves on the paper and it can also be used to spray the toilet after light use instead of flushing. You will save water.
• Do you use paper to wipe your hands? Stop! Carry a handkerchief with you wherever you go and avoid using even the electric hand dryer at malls.
• If you live in a developed country you probably use clothes dryers. Try not using them. Dry your clothes on a line.
• If you are the owner of a business, stop distributing leaflets and pamphlets in abundance. Ensure that they reach the right people Reduce your direct mail too. Save paper.
• Recycle your garbage. Start a compost pit in your building compound.
• Use cloth bags for shopping. And refuse plastic bags when a shop keeper offers them to you. Ditto with paper bags.
• Try having warm showers and baths, not hot ones.
• Save water by having a bucket bath, switching off taps while brushing your teeth and rinsing a few utensils instead of scrubbing them with soap everytime.
• Don’t give your clothes for a wash if you feel they are not dirty. Wear them again another day. And fold your clothes in such a way that they don’t need re-ironing.
• Eat less! Remember the more you eat, the more you deplete the environment. You can turn vegetarian too, as eating meat is more of a burden on our earth.
• Use car pools, bicycles, public transport and walk, walk and walk! Avoid the lift too.
• Increase the temperature of your air conditioning by a degree or two if you live in hot climate and lower it if you use heating.
• If you are the owner of a business go for environment friendly practices. Invest that little extra to keep the environment clean.
• Find an organisation focussed on environmental issues ask them if you can help out in some way.

You can read more tips to save energy here!

Or add your own in the comment form at the end of this post.

But more important, try and do at least one thing every single day. Keep the Environment at the top of your mind, every single day. Think of the Earth every day. Remember, the future of this earth depends on what YOU do today! Don’t ever think that your contribution means nothing. Because it does.

For a good overview of what climate change is all about go here:

To read about its effect on India (floods) read this Economic Times article and this Time article. Being a poorer country India is going to suffer a lot because of climate change.

At the end of this year world leaders will meet in Copenhagen to “negotiate a global response to climate change”. There is a huge divide between the developing world the developed world regarding this. The developed world has contributed more to climate change and developing countries need their help to manage problems caused by global warming.

I personally do not think that one should expect too much from the Copenhagen conference, knowing how reluctant some countries are to take positive steps to tackle global warming. However, we can do our little bit even if we are far away from Copenhagen. The United States is in a position to do a lot to halt climate change and a signature campaign by bloggers will tell President Obama that bloggers all over the world want him to take “bold and significant action to reduce greenhouse gasses”.

Click here to add your name and call on the U.S. to take action now.

Related Reading: Global Warming’s Impact on India
How will India manage Climate Change?

United Kingdom, France and Switzerland. Three countries beautiful in their own way. Yet there was something not quite  beautiful in Switzerland, not behind the scenes.

London: I loved this city. It’s busy and bustling, and wherever we went we found the people helpful and friendly. I loved the beautiful parks of London. How lucky Londoners are to have so much open space, that too in a crowded metro! Walking through Hyde park is a treat, and once, when we got out of the subway station, we stumbled upon a small park where people were taking a break from lunch. I loved the atmosphere there. The privacy one had despite the crowd.

In London we went on a bus tour, chatted with random people like restaurant owners, cab drivers, sales people, met up with friends, took umpteen photographs and well, simply drank in London. We travelled by bus and the subway quite a bit and everywhere we went we encountered nice people. It wasn’t just the shopkeepers who were friendly, the general public was too. Whether it was the woman behind the ticket counter or a fellow traveler on the subway. I don’t know where I had absorbed the stereotype of the British being reserved and stand-offish. We didn’t experience that at all. Everyone was quite normal!

Click here if you want to see a birds’s eye view of London on video. It was taken from the “London Eye.” It’s a little shaky as it was crowded and then the day was a trifle dull, with a bit of rain.

Tips:
London is a great place for shopping, whether it’s for clothes or souvenirs. There is a lot of variety and I picked up some good bargains. Oxford Street is the place to shop, and eat out too. Cheap street food is freely available in London. For example, outside Madame Tussauds we got a sumptuous burger for 3 pounds. At a small eatery on Oxford street we found an all-you-can eat Vegan Buffet at 6 pounds. Eating at small places near subway stations is cheap too. You can pick up fairly inexpensive sandwiches at supermarkets

Buying a Travel Card as we did (I think it was for 5 or 6 pounds) entitled us to board any bus or underground train in London for the day. This is a must.

Paris
The city of Paris has beautiful  buildings and a lot of parks, but we didn’t really have much time to roam around there. The bus tour that we took (Open Bus Tour) was not as good as the bus tour in London (Original Bus Tour). The commentary was not comprehensive, nor clear, and worse, the buses were never on time. In between the commentary there was some pretty bad music that they played. However every bit of Paris is beautiful, the river Seine, the cobbled streets, the cafes, the bridges and ofcourse the people. Even more beautiful that I imagined it all would be. As for the Louvre, I can spend days there. For me the museum experience was thrilling.

In the limited time that we had, we  noticed that Paris was not as clean and as organised as London. Certain street corners stank of urine and I actually saw a man peeing on the roadside, near a parked van! At night near our hotel there were drunk people shouting and singing but it was only for a few minutes and well, it was Saturday night.

I was anticipating some difficulty in communicating with people (again a false stereotype) but this wasn’t a problem. The city is geared for tourists, and language was never a problem. True, we couldn’t have long chats with people, but people understood what we were saying. The sales people at the shops did their best to sell us their wares, and at cafes we found the service friendly, efficient and polite.

The photograph on the right is is not photoshopped and nor have the colours been adjusted in any way. It was taken directly against the  noonday sun and I thought the result would be terrible. But it came out with a kind of starry halo around the Eiffel Tower and I thought it kind of cute. The view from the Eiffel Tower is great!

And what about Parisians themselves? I thought they were a cultured (although reserved) and graceful people. No one was unfriendly, although they cannot be categorized as friendly either. In fact once at a cafe where all tables are close together I managed to carry on a conversation in broken English with a woman barely a foot away. We talked about French food.

I was surprised to see how much people smoked in this city. Men and women. The women were thin and smart, and it was a treat to look at their clothes!

The picture below is of a woman who was skating faster than our bus. It was fascinating to see her ride skilfully pushing a baby on a pram, a baby with a helmet! Never seen such a sight before and I only managed to catch her photo when she stopped to talk to somebody.

If you want to see a video of a busy Paris Square with some rush hour traffic click here. I took this at Opera Square.

Tips:
We found Paris more expensive than London. However one can pick up souvenirs like key chains, fridge magnets, mementos and T-shirts very cheaply. For example I got a bundle of 12 key chains for 10 Euros and a pretty Paris T-shirt for 6. The city seems geared for tourists. There are a lot of hawkers near the popular monuments as well. Everyone tries to sell you something.

A wide variety of the most delicious food awaits you here and you can get a decent two course meal for around 15 Euros at some small cafes, often with a glass of wine thrown in. Service is excellent at the cafes, however small they may be and however crowded they are. Buying food and drink at supermarkets is a good idea though, to save on money. Skipping lunch is what people do too.

Tourists need to be warned that cashing of travellers cheques can be a problem in Paris. Thomas Cook took 12% commission from us to cash them! It was a Sunday and most of the smaller shops were closed. Even the smaller shops take as much as 3-6% commission, depending on whom you approach.  Or maybe we went to all the wrong places! One spends money to make out the travellers cheques and if one has to 5% or more to encash them, one feels cheated!

Switzerland
This is the most efficient place on earth I think. Everything is so organised! And spanking clean. The areas we went to, German was the language spoken, and few people seemed to want to speak even broken English. One mustn’t forget the great natural beauty and one must admire the way the Swiss have maintained it all. But well, organisation and perfection is not everything.

We had an underlying feeling of discomfort while in Switzerland, and this feeling never really went away all the while we were there. We stayed the longest here, as we love nature, and visited three cities and two tourist spots (Jungfrau and Titlis)

Unsmiling (at times grim) shopkeepers and people were a common feature.

Some strange experiences:

Once at Lucerne, I was staring at a Chinese tourist feeding the swans when an impeccably dressed man came up to me and shook his fist at me, gave me a dirty look and muttered something under his breath. He looked with rage at the Chinese tourist too, and perhaps he thought I was with the Chinese group as I was standing close to them. But hey, all he had to do was go up and request the Chinese woman not to feed the swans! Instead, he was horribly rude!

On a train from Paris to Interlaken there was a huge group of tourists from Japan on the same coach. A Swiss couple in front of us was openly making fun of them. Mimicking them even though they could be seen! How rude! Their children were with them too, and I wondered: Is this what they are teaching their children? I mean, I find the Japanese one of the most polite people on earth and I could see no reason for the Swiss family to behave that way.

At an eatery at Lucerne station, I asked a woman behind the counter (and no the eatery was not crowded at all) about a particular item of food (written in German) and to my surprise she rolled her eyes heavenwards, threw up her hands, and made an irritated and annoyed face! I have never in my life come across such rudeness. Never have I in my entire life come across a worker in a restaurant treating a complete stranger this way.

Often when we asked for directions, we got a stony looks or shaking of the heads. Even if they didn’t understand English, they could have looked at the map we were pointing at and at least tried to help. They didn’t. This happened several times.

If we entered a shop or the restaurant of a hotel we stayed at, the workers never really bothered to greet us, answer our queries properly or help us out. I found this extremely strange. I mean, didn’t the shop owners and hoteliers want business? Even if I picked up an item and showed an interest in it, the shopkeeper would be indifferent! However they were busy saying “Guten Morgan” to whichever local person who entered. Did they not know the simple words “Good Morning?” Is there any harm is saying them to your customers who are foreigners? Well, after I realised that we were not being greeted like other customers, I made it a point to say “Guten Morgan” to any worker in a shop,  and if the workers were greeted first, they would acknowledge and nod and at times smile a little in a confused manner. But thats it.

At Titlis, which was crowded with tourists, we were at a shop selling key-chains when an elderly tourist (happened to be Indian) came up to the woman at the counter and asked, “I see a restaurant here but there are no seats. Is there another restaurant here where we can sit and eat?” She looked tired and I looked at the Swiss worker (woman) behind the counter expectantly. To my surprise instead of answering the woman she turned to her colleague and said something in German and both of them started laughing!! How rude! I was shocked, and quickly explained to the tourist lady that not to worry there was such a restaurant on the next floor. The lady nodded at me gratefully.

At Zurich bus station when I wanted change to enter a pay toilet (a series of two pay kiosks) where one had to insert a 1 Fr coin to get the door to open, I asked two random local Swiss people for change. They turned away from me even though I had been most polite and had greeted them. Then I asked a shopkeeper nearby and he said I would have to buy something from him if I wanted to change my 2Fr to two 1 Fr coins! I refused his offer, and was wondering what to do, when one of the pay toilet kiosks opened and an American stepped out. And lo behold, he held the door open for me with all his strength! “Quick!” he whispered, “get in before it closes!” I rushed in but unfortunately the Swiss make their pay toilet booths really well, and quite fool-proof, like they make everything else! The door refused to close as if it knew that it was being cheated! Both this American guy and me struggled for a while and then gave up.

Then I went to the other kiosk (I had the change by then, given to me by another tourist) but I wasn’t sure where exactly to insert the coin. The American guy waited with me, showed me how to do it and then waved a goodbye! It was so nice to come across such helpfulness in a strange city so far away from  home! Luckily I managed to use the toilet before the bus took off!

Overall I came away from Switzerland with a negative impression. I felt it wasn’t tourist friendly. And it was not all that it was hyped up to be. At the hotel we stayed at in Zurich, a fairly decent hotel on many counts, (X-tra), there was loud music that could be heard throughout the night, from their own nightclub. Why had I this impression that the Swiss were particular about noise? Another false stereotype? The next morning we checked the room documents which said that earplugs were available for free!! Sure, this was a one-off experience, but still I was a little taken aback at this incident. It was our last night abroad, and we were awake most of the night. If anyone ever uses this hotel, be prepared for this experience. In every other way the hotel is nice. Good location, comfortable rooms and yes, smiling people!! In fact that was a pleasant surprise for us!

When I returned to India I narrated my experiences in Switzerland to my neighbour. She said they travelled all over Europe and it was Switzerland that they had hated. Yes, she used word “hated”. When I told her about the incident in the train, she said they faced something worse. A Swiss family sitting directly across them in a train was making fun of them openly! How rude is that!!

One thing my experience in Switzerland taught me. That anyone who says that we Indians are rude don’t know what they are talking about. Talking loudly, not saying thanks, or belching may be considered rude by foreigners, but this is not rude by our Indian standards. At the same time there is something called universal rudeness and what I experienced in Switzerland falls in that category. You don’t make fun of people in front of them. You don’t make faces at them. And when people talk to you, ask you something, you need to give them a few seconds of your time!

Tips:
Switzerland is very expensive and even souvenirs like key chains and fridge magnets burn a hole in one’s pocket, at least for those of us from developing countries. I mean, paying 12 Swiss Francs for a simple key chain? Or 22 Swiss Francs for a T-shirt with the Swiss flag on it? In some places you might get things a few francs cheaper but nothing really cheap. Even though most shops were deserted I hardly saw any attempts to reduce prices. Even eating here is expensive. An inexpensive place which offers a snacky meal can put you back by about 15-20 Swiss francs. Just french fries can cost at much as 12 francs. Eating at the mall at the stations is the cheapest. And it’s best to get a hotel which is centrally located otherwise the cabs will set you back by a good amount. We usually walked everywhere or took the metro or bus. Yes, even from the railway station to our hotel.

Be sure to scour supermarkets for bargains on food and drink. I bought some inexpensive chocolates here. No big brands, but well, they are excellent chocolates.

By the way, tipping is not the norm in Switzerland, like it is in the US or the UK. We didn’t know this before we went.

Related Reading:
If you want to see animals, go not just to Africa, but to Ruaha
What Indians need to know before going to Egypt
Interesting Signboards from Europe
The uniqueness of Goa captured in pictures

All posts on Travel

Here are some interesting signs that I saw during my trip to Europe. Some of them have light humour, some are refreshing and some are…well, just interesting. They may be part and parcel of daily life for those who live abroad, but not for me. The real amusing signs were in Britain, and I think the British have a great sense of humour and are friendly too. This I found not only by reading public messages but also in my interaction with the people.

I spotted the sign below in Bangor, a small town in Wales. As you can see it’s the outside of a shoe shop. A lot of the shoes were kept on tables outside on the pavement. We know how it is in India. Shoplifters are almost never prosecuted. In fact the shopkeepers let them off with a simple warning. Why overwork the police and overcrowd the prisons!!

This sign which I saw in London may seem pretty innocuous to those who live there, but to me there was something sinister in it. I am sure the police mean what they say. In India I cannot imagine the police ever touching a cycle, however badly it is parked. But maybe this has nothing to do with being strict with all vehicles, including cycles, because this sign was in a street near Buckingham palace. A major tourist area, buzzing with crowds through the day.

The picture below was taken in Zurich, Switzerland. It shows the police taking a photograph of a wrongly parked vehicle. Evidence to confront the wrong-doer! Therefore, less arguing once the fine is imposed. In India, vehicles parked a little off the parking line are never penalised. And a photo does not brook any argument! Ask me, I always argue with the police! In India ofcourse.

The photograph below was taken near Buckingham palace in London. It’s a warning to thieves (like the first one in this post) and such signs are unlike most signs in other parts of Europe which warn the public about thieves and pick-pockets, not the thieves themselves. Just in case the image is not clear, the warning here says: CRIME PREVENTION ADVICE. THIEVES BEWARE, PLAIN CLOTHES POLICE OFFICERS ARE OPERATING IN THIS AREA.

The sign below was seen outside a pub in Bangor, Wales, and it warns teens about drinking if they are underage but it’s done in a humorous and light-hearted way. The sign says: If you are lucky enough to look under 21 you will be asked to prove that you are over 18.

Outside the same pub was this sign which tells you that making noise inside the pub is one thing, but disturbing the peace quite another. Overall I found that consideration for other people was the most in Britain. I did not see that much of it in France, and certainly not in Switzerland. But more about that later, in another post, where I will be writing about my impressions of the people in the countries I traveled to.

Self-service is a common concept in the west, but in India it is still catching on. We are used to picking up our trays and dumping the trash in the bin at Macdonalds, but self-service restaurants are very common in Europe. The next picture was taken at a self-service eatery near Lucerne, Switzerland, where one doesn’t have to just pick up one’s tray, but also pick up any crumbs from the table. The sign orders: PLEASE CLEAN THE TABLE. Inside some toilets in Switzerland I found a dispenser to clean the toilet seat after using the toilet. One had to do it manually.

In Switzerland there was no public toilet at two major railway stations – Bern and Zurich. However there was a company which called itself McClean where one had to pay 2 Swiss Francs (roughly equivalent to 2 dollars or Rs 100/-) to access their toilets, which were not that clean anyway. The strange thing was that if one accessed the “Pissoir” (Urinal) one had to pay just 1Fr, but as you might have guessed, it was for men only. The women had to go to the 2Fr one. The trains did have toilets, but these two major stations didn’t, and this was an inconvenience. However smaller rail stations in Switzerland had free public toilets.

That was just a little something I came up with. Am still a little tired from my trip and not completely back in the blogging world. Got loads of email to check! I hope to post again at the end of the week if I can manage the time.

Related Viewing (all photo posts):
Funny signs in India
Pune signboards (Puneri Patya)
A funny battered car
Sweet Salted Translations
Seeing India through the eyes of Amul