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Real life molestation caught on camera

January 3, 2007

This blog post is about last year’s new year’s incident (2007) as well as this year’s (2008).

On New Year’s Eve, a Midday reporter Shadab Khan caught on camera a crowd of about sixty people surrounding a molestation-on-camera_1_1.jpgyoung girl and her boy-friend at the Gateway of India in Mumbai. The reporter got these pictures from a height -he was atop a police post trying to capture the spirit of the revellers. As the clock struck midnight the screaming girl was pawed and manhandled by the thugs surrounding her and her boy-friend was roughly pushed aside. In the melee her dress was torn and she fell down. One doesn’t know exactly how but the couple managed to extricate themselves from perverts_2_1.jpgthe crowd and run away. No police complaint was filed. Today, the Colaba Police is planning to undertake an investigation into the incident and has taken the pictures from the reporter.
Shadab Khan writes about how shocked he is at the incident and wonders how such a thing could happen in Mumbai. Even today the press is writing about how shocking the whole incident is. That only Delhi is supposedly notorious for this kind of public behavior.
Well, I think the press should wake up and speak to a few ladies who travel by public transport or have been caught in crowds. Only then they can shed the illusion that these things happen only in Delhi. Whether it is Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Pune or Calcutta, there are always cheap sex crazy elements lying in wait to molest women. Pornography, which is now freely available on the internet has just whetted their appetite.

Personal experiences
I have lived in all the cities mentioned above and have had the bad luck of being pawed in all the cities. True, my experiences in Delhi (I studied there) were the maximum (movie theatre, shop, roads, buses) but I have also been pawed in the Calcutta metro, in a Ganpati Visarjan (holy procession) on Pune’s Laxmi Road and in a crowded kirana (grocery) store in Bangalore! In Mumbai? Just once at a railway station while waiting for a local. In fact these are the only incidents that I remember. I am not even counting the incidents (if you can call them that) when men tried to touch or brush past in the hope of grabbing a feel. I am not even counting the incidents of the scores of men I have seen exposing themselves at railway stations, bus stations and once even on a hill where I had gone for a walk! And I don’t even wear sleeveless! I am considered a prude when it comes to dress-sense.
The sad truth is that every woman who travels daily by public transport has encountered perverts, and her dress doesn’t matter. Once when I was wearing a saree, a young boy came from behind and grabbed me. He was on a cycle.
All this often makes me long for a sexually promiscuous society so that these sick men can go and do it with willing women instead of bothering strangers.
Well, these incidents are in the past now. For the past ten years or so I have been moving around in a car or at the worst – in a rickshaw. So I am safe. I avoid crowded places and so do all the women I know.
Wonder why the press doesn’t know it? Surely they have women reporters? Or are we simply being hypocritical?

(Photos are sourced from Midday)

5th January: The police have arrested the guilty men, all teenagers residing in the slums of Ghakopar. You can find the details here in a Midday report. However, the girl has not come forward to register a complaint and therefore one wonders what action can be taken.
Also, more women have come forward and admitted to the problems they have had with roadside romeos. Thankfully the press covered this in detail today. This should hopefully lead to a public awareness campaign to educate people how terrible a woman feels when she is molested.

Later update: It has also come to light that the girl who was molested was an Indian American girl.

Another shameful incident took place on 26th September in Mumbai: Girls, some of them from Jai Hind College were molested near Wankhede Stadium on Marine Drive in Mumbai in the crowds when our cricket team was returning from the airport in an open bus. This was an open bus which the cricketers rode in and huge crowds thronged the roads on either side. An opportunity that molesters took.
This is the link:
The girls were molested very badly and apparently a lot more girls were molested and seen crying on the side of the road. Groups of men surrounded the girls and did whatever they could.
This sort of thing is a part and parcel of Indian society now and everyone should beware. No Indian city is safe. The police do nothing and give stupid statements like these things did not happen at one time. They always happened in India and always will unless these offenders are put behind bars for at least 10 years. Is that harsh punishment for these molesters? I don’t think so. No girl is safe in crowds in any city in India.

Update: 2nd January 2008. Another shameful incident which has been reported by the Hindustan Times today. The link is here. What happened was that two women were molested by a group of 4-5 men but a mob of 70-80 men was watching and did nothing. One woman was with her husband and there was another couple with them. They were coming out of the Marriot Hotel at around 1 a.m., when the incident happened. The fact that these people are sure that they will get away is proved by the fact that they do not care if they are caught on camera. The molesters of last year got away because apparently the girl didn’t come forward to complain. Even in the earlier incident, of the molestation which happened in the crowds cheering the cricket fans, the same thing happened. The girls did not complain. And the molesters got away. In any case, such incidents are very common in cities. The police do nothing. Molestation is considered a minor crime.

I know someone who was out on New Years Eve at Juhu. She was in a group of girls who were returning home from Juhu and their car was stuck in a traffic jam around midnight. They had gone to a restaurant just ten minutes walk from their home but chose to go in their car. They were stuck in the car for over an hour, but they did not step out. This girl tells me:

Hordes of men in huge groups were walking around on the road and we were amazed. There were all-male groups and we couldn’t understand what they were doing, just walking on the road!

It’s shocking the way the police commissioner has reacted to this incident. He says it’s a trivial one. Sure, we understand that the police cannot monitor each and every group that walks on the roads, but they can definitely stop people walking around in groups of 20-30! And they can take action against the molesters. Up till now the molesters have not been arrested even though they were caught on camera.

Jan 3rd. It’s been revealed that the couples were from California, United States. One couple had got married just the day before according to a tv news report and the other two were the man’s brother and cousin sister.

A second incident took place in Kochi, and this link was sent to me by a reader via a comment. You can see the video of the news report here. Apparently the molester was so brazen that he molested the 15 year old daughter of a foreign tourist as the tourist was being interviewed on TV and was recounting his wonderful experiences of India!

Pune Incident on New Years Eve 2008: There was another incident where a group of five to six men were allegedly clicking pictures of a UK based NRI woman, her spouse and another couple. When the couples objected, the drunk men attacked them. You can read about the incident here.

Incident at Kolkata (2008). The Times of India has reported:

When the clock struck midnight on New Year’s eve (, a horror story unfolded on Kolkata’s entertainment hot spot. Bikes took control of Park Street, the nervecentre of Christmas and New Year revelry. And the transition from 2007 to 2008 was not without girls being groped by unknown hands, humiliated, some shedding tears; their companions struggling to protect and console them…TOI had carried an investigative report on the previous year’s New Year’s eve where revellers were snapped molesting girls on Park Street. It prompted a bigger deployment of police force, but they could not stop the horror re-run…

Update: 19th February 2008. A foreigner was molested in the Gandhi Ashram in Ahmedabad yesterday. She was looking at pictures of India’s Freedom struggle when two drunk men entered, grabbed and kissed her. The staff managed to catch one of them, but the other escaped. What’s shocking is that no complaint is being filed! Read the story here.


Related Reading: Reasons and Solutions for Molestation
Tips to prevent eve-teasing and public molestation
The psychology of a rapist
How a poor attitude towards women can be changed
Teens in India are forced to keep their relationships a secret

206 Comments leave one →
  1. guqin permalink
    January 4, 2008 8:56 am

    Dear Vivek, it was because I am your fan. You may not remember, a long while back you recommended a book to me here. I am just revisiting Nita’s site. I also sought after your comments under topics that interested me. I think their were reflections of wisdom and knowledge.

    Clothing is a metaphor, which reflects most of the cultural dimensions that you mentioned, aesthetics, ethics, etc. For example, clothing creates meaning for nudity which has much further implications. Civilization is half truthful and half delusional. It is truthful only when it directly grows out of the nature of life, and delusional when it looses this first sincerity thus looses contect to life. Today’s western culture, especially USA, are such cases. They are products of concepts but inspirations. Unfortunately most civilizastions having reached a mature stage will fall for this trap, they can no more serve the people. The hearts underneath this heavy clothing return to wildness only with more hypocrisy acquired along the course of civilization. Hence we can hardly expect a man acting “civilised” when the civivlization on his isn’t truthul (“natural”, in my earlier terms) any more.

    Hi, Amlan, I am not sure the Moso information on line is reliable due to the arrogance of the “civilied men” who provided them. I got my information from a book by a Hong Kong writer who managed to learn the Moso language, and lived in their homes for a year. But still, he addmitted and left a lot of opened questions in his book.

  2. Dilavar patel permalink
    January 4, 2008 9:52 am

    The incident happened when i first visited bombay 4 years ago with my sister and friend of her. We had stayed in mumbai for 16 days and visited few temples and mahalaxmi temples. At the time few marathi backward people rushed and i had a bad habit keeping sword in my car always. I am a good sword spinner. Unfortunately 8 of them were hospitalized badly injured by my sword. Patel with sword or gun could be dammn dangerous

  3. Karthik permalink
    January 4, 2008 10:51 am

    This is the most shocking incident. I used hear these terms only on T.V. and radio and never remember seeing them on a national T.V. I’m not here to blame the law enforement agencies but I’m ashamed at the fact that there was a huge gathering of crowd and all were enjoying this shameful incident. Women who suffered there were treated like chickens. I hate to see a country growing and having no values. As an Indian I feel extremely shameful.

  4. Vivek Khadpekar permalink
    January 4, 2008 11:20 am


    //…but you still cant compare it with say london where you are being watched by a camera all the time and you will surely pay for any offence…//

    The very fact that you need the deterrent of cameras watching probably means that Londoners are not VERY MUCH better than us.

    I remember the London of the early 1970s (and even as recently as 1999) when, even at zebra crossings without signals, if there was a pedestrian about to cross, the driver of an approaching car would slow down, stop, and wave to the pedestrian to cross.

    I particularly remember my experience of crossing Tottenham Court Road on my first day in London. The road had recently been converted to a one-way thoroughfare, but the relics of its previous avataar (median divider, signage appropriate to two-way traffic etc.) had not yet been removed. I looked left, crossed over to the median, then looked to the right for traffic going in the other direction, and stepped out to cross the remaining half. To my great horror, I heard a loud screech of brakes from my left — a car had stopped within five feet of knocking me over. The driver, alert to the possibility that everyone may not as yet be aware of the change, had exercised his own discretion and averted disaster.

    The point I am seeking to make is that in the absence of policing, lights or signage, it was plain civic sense and courtesy that won the day. Whether in the matter of insane driving or molesting women, if the public at large is not sensitive to these essential qualities of good citizenship, no policing or regulations can be effective.

    Of course the experiences I cite are from another century :-) and possibly good citizenship is generally taking a beating everywhere.

    • music mugger permalink
      February 19, 2014 9:11 pm

      Cameras in London have never been there to protect the public, they are there to protect businesses, and property, and to spy on people. Anyone who thinks differently to that, or says they are there for any other reason is a liar, or a fool. I have lived in London all my life, and even with the cameras, the man in the street is only a possible target for the police, but if something happens to him or her, the likelihood of that person getting justice is almost nil. This is not a myth, but a fact, you only have to look at the statistics for proof. The excuses, not connected, being serviced, out of action, and the list goes on regarding cameras, but if there is a riot, or a robbery, then they are all working perfectly.
      More likely the reason molestation, and rape are not so prevalent in London is because anyone trying it will be taking their lives in their hands, because if seen, they will more than likely be killed by a mob for trying it. Unlike in India, the English do not stand by and watch a woman get attacked and do nothing about it, we are not afraid of a punch up, so giving a raping piece of scum a good good kicking gets everyone’s vote, and if he gets to court, after our beating, and then the police beating, he will get more in prison. Now that is a deterrent. Public justice

  5. ABHI permalink
    January 4, 2008 11:46 am


  6. Ashwin permalink
    January 4, 2008 9:42 pm

    Hi Nita,
    thanks for posting this. I couldn’t agree with you more for a more sexually free society. Sadly I think that this is the only way out of this mess.

    It makes me sick to read this. I feel like throwing up. It also makes me ashamed to be an Indian man, whenever I remember these things.

    The problem here comes from its source… sexually frustrated young men in society. Unless dating and premarital relationships are not normal, this plague will continue.

    It really makes me sick. And also very sad for the girls. :-(


  7. January 4, 2008 9:58 pm

    Thanks to all of you who are commenting here. It’s far too overwhelming for me to answer them all. Thank you for your support.
    Ashwin, your comment touched my heart. If only the police had even one percent of the sensitivity you have!

  8. Ravi permalink
    January 4, 2008 10:56 pm

    Why hype for such incidents? When the cinema show this kind of non-sense, its done by heroes and they get awards for their performance. When the public who fantasize these actors do the same, people shout.
    I too have mother, sisters and wife. When I see such incidents, the only thing goes to my mind is “Kill the scoundrels from bolloywood.” Instead of rewarding them and awarding them, shoot them. They are mis-leading the society portraying such crimes as if they are part of a free society.
    Unfortunate enough, our dear public will never realize and this will always go in a loop.

  9. Rohit permalink
    January 4, 2008 11:12 pm

    Shameful incident. I would like to make a few points:

    1) Why is the media so outraged? Don’t they know that such shameful incidents happen throughout the country on a daily basis? This is plain hypocrisy (as well as creating sensational news to gain TRP). It happened last year and this year the same thing was repeated. And something gives me the feeling that the media will forget this incident as soon as they get a more “sensational” story and the same thing will be repeated next year. I wonder is all this noise is really going to change anything.

    2) All this is to be blamed on the earlier generations and their stupid mentality of separating both sexes. Things like “ladki haath se nikal jaayegi” or taboo on talking about sex or anything remotely related to it or hiding love affairs. I think it is way too much control. Whenever you try to suppress people from expressing themselves, they will get frustrated and vent out through some other medium. Please note that i am not justifying those molesters.
    Also, I don’t really see how education is going to change all this. And can someone explain what education are people talking about really?

  10. Raj permalink
    January 4, 2008 11:45 pm

    I agree with Neil.The scoundrels should be shot dead or at least publicly flogged by women.If respect for women is not ingrained in them,it should be drilled into them by brute force.Even if that fails,these scum should be executed.Society does not need them.

  11. Indian permalink
    January 5, 2008 12:25 am

    Saddist attitude and should be punished not less than 15 years..

  12. mildbrew permalink
    January 5, 2008 1:57 am

    Rape is how an Indian guy gets sex….Indian men are the biggest rapists in the world per capita.

    Just do a google search for rape and India.

    This is a trait of cowardly men.

  13. January 5, 2008 8:35 am

    Rohit your comment is bang on. I too wonder at the fuss being made when girls face this type of trauma every single day.

  14. Deepa permalink
    January 5, 2008 9:47 am

    This is an indicator of how the city is evolving. I have also given a link to your post on my blog too.

  15. January 5, 2008 10:58 pm


  16. Amit Nayak permalink
    January 6, 2008 10:15 am

    Why the hell is this issue treated as Molestation?? It is clear and evident that this is a case of attempted Rape. The culprits should be treated like Rapists… Such media-managed milder words will do no justice.

  17. Amit Nayak permalink
    January 6, 2008 10:22 am

    Dear Richa, what is the difference between you and the rapists.. Why do you talk like one? What have their women done to be so humiliated? Punish the culprit not their relatives. Be Just, not Taliban!!!

  18. Anuj permalink
    January 6, 2008 11:09 pm

    Dear Richa,
    One more place that needs to come in your blog is Airport. I have seen Custom officers talking pictures of girls waiting in queue for immigration. Custome officers are supposed to be well educated and one of the best. If these guys cannot control themself what we can think for the commoners.

  19. Abhiroop permalink
    January 7, 2008 12:47 am

    Its a little strange that the first thing almost everyone seems to be trying to prove is that this is an isolated incident and let this not bring a bad name to mumbai and so on. That, in my book, is denial.

  20. Ramesh permalink
    January 7, 2008 3:04 pm

    According to me it has happened because of the women only. They have the rights to celebarate the New year. But the place which they selected to celebarate it is wrong. If I were there I would have helped them. No one did help them.There was no humanity. Surely all the guys should be punished.

  21. Kenneth permalink
    January 7, 2008 4:00 pm

    Hey RAmesh..

    Go take a hike into orthodoxhood. A person whether male or female has the right to be where they want when they want especially if its a public place like a road. A woman would usually feel safer with crowds. But what happens when the crowd itself gets Hor*ny!…the family of the men who did this should disown them. A public apology should be made in front of the entire nation.

  22. YashieG permalink
    January 8, 2008 5:41 pm

    These girls had to celebrate new year at home and not in public place.


    Happy New Year !

  23. onesource permalink
    January 10, 2008 12:43 pm

    its true that now womens are not safe in any place…you never know when you move out of your shell n you are been haunted…shame on we indians that we dont take actions but y should we take actions? is a quetion in every body mond as police do not take it forward and there are many procedures to follow…i feel all the molesters should be stripped of on the stret and made walk like that …even they should know the feeling of being molested and after effects

  24. January 11, 2008 10:19 am

    The latest molestation case is on the news… at Kumarakom , kerala.

    Now all the countries whose citizens who fly to India as tourists are giving strict warnings on possible molestations on Indian Streets.

    Sad huh?

  25. January 11, 2008 10:47 am

    I would say it’s about time Xylene. We have deluded people in this country who seem to imagine that molestation of women in public places in India is unusual and it is men who think like this. Not all men, but those who think like this (that molestation in public places is unusal) are mostly men. I have got emails saying it’s all nonsense and these incidents are rare! But the fact is that they happen all the time, every single day. It’s about time foreigners armed themselves with this knowledge, and my tips to prevent molestation are mostly written for them.
    It’s time we shouted it out to the world because our Indian govt. is not doing anything about it. Let the world know what sick people roam the roads! I want our country to wake up to this menace and look down on men who do this, not turn a blind eye.

  26. Raj permalink
    January 11, 2008 10:54 am


    I completely agree with you.It is about time we moved out of the denial mode about the Indian male’s nasty attitude towards women.

    Let foreign women be forewarned and forearmed about the silent suffering and humiliation that their Indian sisters undergo on a daily basis.

  27. Ratna permalink
    January 11, 2008 6:04 pm

    My country ladies,whenever going out take 100 gms of chilli powder in your purse.I think this will protect you rather than your husband or BF.

  28. LondonSen permalink
    January 17, 2008 7:29 pm

    Amazing range of responses to a sad and shameful lack of self control over animal instincts. I understand the frustrations of being an Indian male -I weep for you poor men, you have nothing to feel good about. So you reach out and feel the first good thing you see – a woman. FOR SHAME.
    Do you realise the power play here – all rape is about power. And is an open admission of failure in everything else.
    Can one campaign for a public education programme seeking to establish this link between failure/cowardice and molestation?

  29. Mohua permalink
    January 18, 2008 9:28 am

    If you think of it – 95% of troubles in the world – wars,fanaticism,crude politics, violence,murders,rapes,robberies ,anythin’ horrid one can think of etc. are caused by MEN !!!!

    And then people wonder why most women are feminists !!!

    Most men like these need education, sense, ethics, resposibilities ,decency etc.

    P.S. not directed towards the extremely rare but good men we know and love !!!

  30. February 9, 2008 4:25 pm

    the saying goes on :

    1. try to stop cruelty,barbarism,hypocrisy,terror and all sorts of evil if possible with hands

    2. or else speak against regarding all these activities

    3. or at least think in your heart and make your heart feel guilty and fell bad regarding all such evil things and this is the least a person can do,







  31. Indian Girl permalink
    February 12, 2008 1:59 pm

    Well ladies. I met an Israeli guy who invented a device. It is like a ring you wear on your finger. But on one side there is a button. When you press the button it creates an static electricity around you. Then if anyone touches you they get a shock, which can be intense.

    If he sold that device in India, it would be popular and he’d be a billionaire.

    Actually, its true rape, abuse of women happen in the US too but its not like Indian at all. Here (the US) the worst I’ve ever had were looks, smiles and a guy approaching me to flirt. But when I say no, they get the clue. I have gone to parties and celebrated with groups and had fun without all this crap. It is very different in the West than India.

    One time I had a stalker with me. I was carrying pepper spray and I sprayed him. He fell unconscious and i got away. This happened only once in the last 12 yrs in America.

    Is carrying pepper spray illegal in India? I think a woman has a right to defend herself.

    The issue is not that rape, molestation and abuse happens elsewhere. The issue is that we do not deal with it or take it seriously enough. And many men in our country think its a joke or game.

  32. Indian Girl permalink
    February 12, 2008 2:03 pm

    To all who asked about education. It is openly talking about molestation, sexual abuse and rape in the schools. A lot of these men dont even think its a crime or take it seriously. Its because our Indian does not teach boys manners and civility. The boys are spoilt.

    I hate to say this but many of our Indian men are the most insecure men I’ve ever met. Or I should say immature, stupid boys.

  33. February 19, 2008 7:12 pm

    This happens a lot… specially in nothern part of the country. These days even mumbai isnt as safe as it used to be…

  34. Monica permalink
    February 20, 2008 10:35 pm

    Even Bollywood stars are getting molested, but NONE of them reported it!! Ughhhhh these actresses should do a campaign and encourage other women to raise their voice.

    hindustantimes story

  35. syed raafeuddin ahmed permalink
    March 1, 2008 11:26 pm

    I am scared of writing any criticism of these beasts as may be i will be branded a “terrorist”. still i will say that use some islamic laws to protect girls and women from molesters and rapists. Behead some of them and all the things will be alright in a matter of time. Our law enforcing agencies themselves are molesters and rapists. this is a very big problem in our country India. please ohhhh girls don’t celebrate anything like this on roads and streets. dont intermingle with menfolk. dont roam with boyfriends. keep some chasty in yourselves. this is the reason that islam chose some laws for the benefit of the womenfolk but alas none is following that.

  36. sunil jogdeo permalink
    March 13, 2008 10:58 pm

    I hv gone thru some of the posts on this issue. The root of the problem lies in the population explosion that has been exsiting in India since long. I am a mumbaite and I hv travelled all along in the railways and city buses like BEST. `Molestation` or `rape` is a result of sex hunger. There are many things making impact on mind. Like films which today have open sex performed in many ways which creates desire to experience sex in various ways. SEX is NATURAL gift to all animals. Molestation takes place in Human society as we understand the difference between approved sex, molestation and rape. We are all victims of commercialisation. FREEDOM and its extent needs to be redefined. Male and female work together, very close to each other like in BPOs or in software companies. I am witnessed to females drinking alchohole competing with made, then dancing and finally enjoying sex. When we see the crowd in mumbai or delhi or calcutta or bangalore, we see that there is no space left between two individuals. This provides an opportunity to get into the act of molestation. Else in villages, molestation is almost absent. In BEST buses, there is no space between a male and female if they are standing. The natural sentiments like `feeling` starts acting upon the mind and the result is molestation. The only way to get out of it is (a) control the crowd. (b) wear safe clothing so that there is no opportunity created to get molested or raped (c) move in groups (d) stick to the basics of freedom and do not scream on too much of freedom. (e) The best is to stick to Indian cultural values. (f) The last but not the least – instead of writing, come together, make a think tank, take initiatives, keep police connections, come home early before it is too late. Else things would not change. WE indians spend more time in writing and speaking and very less time on ground level actions. IF reverse happens all problems would find solutions at the right time. Possible????

  37. oliverp13 permalink
    March 15, 2008 6:37 am

    This is just sadistic, these perverts, in a large crowd, trying to rape a helpless woman. Thats just sad. Damn shame.

  38. Unfortunitely DESI permalink
    March 21, 2008 10:40 pm

    Ok this is a really really huge problem in India and Pakistan. I am seriously getting sick of that S**t. All of the guys there are perverted. besides grabbing girls in the street and running away, they don’t have the Ba**s to actually ask someone out, especially the F***ing FOB’s, I still wonder why God allows those stinky, hair comed to the side, mustache having fools to be born. I mean like maybe if you clean yourself up, stop smelling like Sabzi Mandi (indian grocery shop) and stop talking like “rat tat tat” youll get some . Due to all of the oppression from home and families, any chance outside of the house they get, they become animals. That is just shameful. And god forbid someone does that to their sister, then they get all crazy and beat up others or kill them. Next time I go back to visit, Im gonna wear a hijab (female robe) and wait till a guy tries grab me, then im gonna beat the living sh**t out of him on the street, pay the cops in american dollars to arrest him and beat his ass some more, then go to the guys school and get him expelled. That is my next goal in life. Ok now Im going to go get some fresh air outside because im just going crazy writing this.
    thanks for listening

  39. March 25, 2008 10:42 pm

    it’s only going to get worse with our sex-ratio getting worse every day.

    an effort:

  40. monechee permalink
    March 27, 2008 2:19 am

    HI All,

    I think the way forward is a two way job, both for the women and men, its not only men who are guilty. In Indian society there is a big communication gap , even the girls kind of keep to themself ,therefore there is no chance of interaction , also have to lift the taboo on sex ,its not only for reproductive but also its a recreation .In the metros its better as the young people mix in colleges.

    I agree Monachee, the taboo on sex is a big problem in Indian society and leads to an unhealthy approach. – Nita.

  41. April 22, 2008 5:33 pm

    Something interesting: mumbai mirror

  42. Blah! permalink
    May 1, 2008 12:04 am

    sex starved like hell and men basically see women as sex objects anyways thats the truth

  43. anushka permalink
    May 5, 2008 9:18 am

    almost every family has a girl who was molested or touched at some point of time in their lives. we all know it in our heart but we wont speak against it, our pride ego and image stops us and unintentionally we let another girl fall victim by not protesting.
    when i was 4 yrs i was nearly molested by one of d cook and then touched and groped by uncles strangers and ppl who worked in d house. my mother is a strict lady and i never told her or anyone about it out of fear they might misunderstand me or not believe me at all, i just didnt want to loose their love. but it took away a part of me, my self confidence and impregnated me with unbound nervousness and self conciousness. i was so ashamed that i could never speak about it and it killed me every moment, it still does but less. recently i talked about it to my boy friend and felt a wave of relief more so because he still loves me, may be a bit more nw.
    people who truly loves us are going to love us any way so please dnt stop yourself from protesting n frm stopping another girl fall victin.

  44. May 5, 2008 5:52 pm

    I like the way, Ms. Nita puts these things in blog, in a candid way. However I have seen a lot of people seem to think “give these men education and it will do the trick”. How do you put so much trust in a system that didn’t stop Indian men from demanding dowry?

    What India needs is sex education in schools and opening up their prudish attitudes about sex and sesuality. Unless men can get in touch with their sensual side, they will express themselves in the only other way that testosterone works – agdression, whther it is violence or sexual harassment of women. If one were to look at Google trends, the most popular porn keyword searches come from India, Iran, etc. which are prudish and sexually opressive in nature coupled with hipocrisy about rapes and violence.

  45. June 12, 2008 12:19 am

    Complaint not being filed even by foreigners is understandable cuz maybe they are also aware of the Indian police and like us “dont want to fall into a mess” with the police. I agree a sexually promiscuous society would have made things easier maybe…I get really pissed off when guys even the married ones just stand obstructing the way in train’s corridor or at the doors and when asked to so grudgingly that too one inch or so…so that when we pass they get some touch…But i literally elbow them or step on their feet :D :D My sister too once had a bad incident while standing in a bank queue!!!!

  46. Suraj Singh permalink
    June 18, 2008 10:27 pm

    I blame it on Bollywood and TV
    India is not ready for such semi nudity.

  47. Suraj Singh permalink
    June 18, 2008 10:28 pm

    PS: Still Mumbai is far better than Delhi

  48. Peeyush Thomas Kurian permalink
    June 23, 2008 5:04 pm

    Although i havent indulged in such gross acts, i never stopped myself or my friends from the casual ‘touching’ of females in buses and in other crowded areas, when we were in eng college….well, may be its an age problem..i was young and stupid..although i am sure that i wuldnt be passive if the same happened to my sisters..but that thought somehow eluded me…So blaming my age is not right, i take the full responsibility and take this oppurtunity to apologise to all women(i dont know what else to do)for my misbehaviour….And may be in future, i may be able to change some males mindset or act against such things….

  49. Saurabh Mishra permalink
    June 29, 2008 10:53 pm

    Hi Everyone,

    I couldn’t help but get very emotional after reading this post and all the comments (especially the comments). It saddens me that ours is such a great civilization and yet women (both Indian and foreign) are treated so poorly on a daily basis.

    I might be over-simplifying this issue by considering this a class issue. But I do agree with comments which talk about the molesters being from families where women aren’t respected and possibly abused. I think the single most effective thing that we can do is by teaching our kids (both boys and girls) about respect and making sure that any abusive behaviour towards women (even domestic abuse) doesn’t go un-reported and un-punished.

    I understand that this is not a simple problem and there are probably many solutions. But instead of only discussing the details of incidents (which is important as a reminder), we all need to think of what we can do to help stop this disgusting behaviour by our fellow countrymen.

    At the risk of being branded phirangi, I want to leave us with lyrics from 2PAC’s song (Keep Ya Head Up):

    And since we all came from a woman
    Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
    I wonder why we take from our women
    Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
    I think it’s time to kill for our women
    Time to heal our women, be real to our women
    And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
    That will hate the ladies, that make the babies

    Thanks again to everyone for sharing their opinions. Open discussions like these will help create awareness and even if we change the mindset of a few, its still a step in the right direction.

  50. Sandip permalink
    July 8, 2008 10:59 pm

    This is “Incredible India” for you. Most Indians think that the West is a morally depraved society, yet they are the first to get in line to have a chance to live there. We like western products, their technology, their efficient system of government, cleanliness and their standard of living. We like to film our movies there because its so clean and beautiful there. We’ll never become modern country unless we get out of this mindset that Indians and our culture are the most morally superior in the world. Remember, in a country where the culture does not evolve, the society will be condemned to backwardness. If Indian culture is so superior then why did we have the caste system and sati? Why do we have grinding poverty? I have talked to many foreigners and they say that India by far poorest country they have seen out of all the other 3rd world countries they have been to. I have been to many countries in the world, including 3rd world countries, and I would have to say that India is the dirtiest of them all. I know, I know what people will say, its because of the British. Lets blame the present situation on them. We love to play the blame game instead of accepting personal responsibility.

    Look at all the technologically advanced countries, or morally depraved as we think in India, and you will see that they all have the following things in common:

    1. Intermingling between unmarried males and females

    2. Women can dress dress anyway they want, not only men as in India

    3. Pornography

    4. Strip clubs

    5. Women sunbathing in bikinis on the beach

    6. Women allowed to expose their legs in public

    7. Kissing and holding hands in public

    These are just a few of the things.

    And what are these morally depraved societies that we are talking about? Here are some of them.

    US and Canada
    Australia and New Zealand
    Japan, Korea and possibly China

    Indian men get angry when they see a woman dressed in a revealing manner, this is because they believe that the women is inciting them with lust. They think this woman is immoral, a whore and that she needs to be dominated and punished because she is a sinner.

    I’m was born a hindu but don’t consider myself one, or as I would like to put it spiritual but not religious. I don’t adhere to any religion or dogma.

    Just a few things I would like to mention from the two largest religions in the world.

    A woman should cover herself up so as not to incite lust in men. Thus the women is responsible if she gets raped, meaning that men are animals and have no self control.

    Banned the practice of stoning to death of a woman for adultery. He said he who is without sin let him cast the first stone.

    A man who lusts when he sees a woman, let him pluck one of his eyes out, and if he still lusts, then he should pluck his other eye out as well.

    I want to relate an incident that happened in Secunderabad back in the summer of 1981 when we were teenagers.

    Me, my sister and my cousin brother went cycling in the countryside, we parked our cycle below and climbed up this hill. After sometime these men came out from behind the rocks. They were angry because we brought a girl up there with us. They pinned my sister down on the ground and threw a rock at me and my cousin which just missed my head by a few inches. Me and my cousin were crying for these men to let us go, but my sister got angry and yelled abuses at them, even though she is younger than me. Eventually my sister was able to get away from them and then we ran like hell.

  51. Anon permalink
    July 25, 2008 8:46 pm

    This is gross!!

    Indian (hindus) men are gross!!

    Indian men rape because no women wld ever want to marry these perverted losers..

    I would never travel to India even if my life depended on it..

  52. Anon permalink
    July 25, 2008 8:49 pm

    On the same thread .. i thnk that this guy below is actually the most correct..

    “syed raafeuddin ahmed,
    I am scared of writing any criticism of these beasts as may be i will be branded a “terrorist”. still i will say that use some islamic laws to protect girls and women from molesters and rapists. Behead some of them and all the things will be alright in a matter of time. Our law enforcing agencies themselves are molesters and rapists. this is a very big problem in our country India. please ohhhh girls don’t celebrate anything like this on roads and streets. dont intermingle with menfolk. dont roam with boyfriends. keep some chasty in yourselves. this is the reason that islam chose some laws for the benefit of the womenfolk but alas none is following that.”

  53. Ravi permalink
    July 25, 2008 9:22 pm


    We are on the same page :-) I would love to see a woman in bikini :-) and I believe that it doesnt mean she is a whore cause she wore skimpy clothes. Even our religion or culture doesn’t say that its sin to expose the body. It is just our current morons who got some political power exercising it just to gain political benefits. But India has to go a long way to see a woman dress in whatever she likes. I wish that day would come very soon.

  54. Ravi permalink
    July 25, 2008 9:31 pm


    Beheading is cruel but he/they must be punished severely like a 14 year imprisonment. India is not islamic and we are not terrorists either to commit such heinous crimes. Taking one’s life away is not human and its objectionable. I don’t know why you advocate violence but its barbaric. If killing is the only solution left then someday there would be no one alive on this earth. Mr.Ahmed could never be a terrorist but implementing Islamic laws is uncivilized and I believe India is far from that state.

  55. Ravi permalink
    July 25, 2008 9:36 pm


    You have made a right decision do not come to India. India is not tourist friendly especially to women tourists (Pun not intended). Why would any foreign woman wants to lose her modesty just for seeing pathetic old temples and a marble grave? I don’t see any necessity.

  56. luv permalink
    July 28, 2008 1:37 am

    such a shameful act which disgusts me… most of the girls who read this post are terrified but i request them dont b , if u r terrified u cant fight against it… b strong girls… v all shuld get together n raise our voice… v hv to change the situation, i cant c my country like this… i dont want my family n my loved ones to live in such a place.. jst look at tht help less guy tryng to save her.. 2morow it can b u or me… or ur sister, wife , daughter… any one.. m deffinatly gonna do sumthng to change the situation.. i dam care if i can make a change bt ill do efforts frm my side n if v all do a litle effort v surly can change the situation…

  57. August 15, 2008 11:43 pm

    Bitter truth! I am no good in posting a valid comment here. Nevertheless, i think i found out the tip of an iceberg. Thank you for directing me here.

  58. August 24, 2008 11:43 am

    This is why I don’t even want to marry an Indian man. I will marry my white boyfriend

  59. September 6, 2008 10:11 pm

    Nita, academics seem to have a slightly different take on molestation in India,

    I am not sure what percentage of the actual abuse is due to the reasons in the above post, but rectifying them will go a long way in making cities safe for women.

  60. jagadeesh mishra permalink
    November 15, 2008 6:41 am

    waaw… arre haath hi to lagaya hai…itna bura kyon mante ho… tumhe bhi to mazaa aaya hoga… krishna karein to raas lila… hum karein to character dheela… yeh to koi baat nahin hui…

  61. stud.boy99 permalink
    November 15, 2008 7:13 am

    I would like to say two things here—

    1st.. of course its a menace in India, i have felt it myself… i used to study in Delhi university… there used to be special buses DU special for college students… i m a guy, and once while going to college in DU special bus i felt a hand deliberately touching by bottom… i could not see the hand when i turned back but it had to be a gal’s hand tht much i could feel while being touched.. i had to be silent, of course you cannot protest such a thing in India, no one would believe it if a gal did so…

    2nd.. i see many comments about some ppl saying that Indian guys are illiterate, uneducated, uncultured n all… i’d like to say that molestation, rape, and “forcing someone for sexual benefits from women” happens everywhere… i am working in New York now, daily newspapers do have news about date rapes. rapes of women after getting excessively drunk at parties.. i have seen relations between old boss and secretary which entire office knows and is silent…. so, i would not like to classify this as Indian problem only…

    thanks for reading…

    While I agree with the fact that there is rape etc in all countries but molestation is a peculiar Indian problem. I don’t see women being felt up in crowds there as they are here. Here its not possible to be in a huge crowd without being felt up. Also I think your assumption that the person who touched you is a girl may not be correct. Two men whom I know very well have had this experience, in the gents compartment of a suburban train in Mumbai. – Nita.

  62. stud.boy99 permalink
    November 15, 2008 9:01 am

    well it was not a guy for sure… when i turned back there were four gals behind me… no guy was around… & i did not knew which gal among them did it… and since i was not sure, i had to keep silent…

  63. stud.boy99 permalink
    November 15, 2008 9:33 am

    another one… as i said, this problem is not just limited to India… i was in boston in USA some time back… the boston metro rail corporation is running a campaign against people who touch or brush deliberately against females, by taking advantage of the crowded trains…

    I am trying to say here is that its a very serious issue, AND its not limited to poor, illiterate, or SC/ST people… bashing the illiterate and poor, and some castes does not solve the problem completely… as they are not the only people who can be doing this menace…

    See the link for advertisements in boston metro rail which is made to encourage people if any such incident happens to them…

    Thanks for reading…

    Studboy, I do not believe that it is limited to the poor or the illiterate at all. However, some commentators do believe this. But yes I feel it is more prevalent in India. I don’t say it doesn’t happen anywhere else. – Nita.

  64. stud.boy99 permalink
    November 15, 2008 8:46 pm

    Thanks Nita…

    I think degradation of values is has to do something with it… social control is not possible because of fear these days… i remember long back if someone touched a woman in wrong way in bus or even stared at woman for long.. we used to hear instances where some bylooker- man or woman would certainly raise a voice and protest, these days everyone is afraid for his or her life, and avoids the altercation at all costs… so social control is not being done these days, we do not banish the perpetrator by bashing him or by distancing from him socially…, so in the end everyone is “expected” to have self-control everywhere and if its not present, no other person intervenes… so in effect the assaulter get a boost..

    2nd.. and people do not have self-control in themselves… maybe sexual frustration too… basically not many people are happy with their sexual lives…both married and unmarried.. young and old… (ya this is possible even with the explosive population growth rate that we have managed to achieve).. so they “justify” doing it by various reasons.. by saying things like… “she wants it”, “so what”, “it was unintentional”, “if she does not want to be equal she should stay at home” etc etc…i remember one news article or some news channel where Mumbai cop was saying that dance bars actually protect ordinary women from getting assaulted…now beat that…

  65. stud.boy99 permalink
    November 15, 2008 9:01 pm

    this is for the silent onlookers who look the other way while a women is getting assaulted–

    I feel if we do not speak against it even when it does not affect us directly, then we will not get support when we actually need it… today you might be traveling alone, tomorrow ur wife, sister, girlfriend, friend, relative would be affected and no one around you will speak when u need it…

    I found great similarity in this case with a poem written by a Jew.. though the perpetrators here are not killing the women or others supporting her, but they do single out the affected gal and distance her from others…if the people support her, the perpetrator make it look as if the other people are calling for trouble if they protested.. in the same way done by Germans… see the link

  66. stud.boy99 permalink
    November 15, 2008 9:13 pm

    another one… i m on a roll today.. this article has got my attention, i guess…

    this one is specifically from Delhi… when i was growing up, it was respectful to call some female on the road as “behen ji” (meaning sister) or if she was old enough “mata ji” (meaning mother)…

    now a days, I have heard it myself that women protesting against it… they prefer to be called as “madam” instead of “behen ji” or “mata ji”… try saying “behen ji” to some woman in Delhi roads, and see the frown on her face for yourself… once i was travelling in bus, bus conductor gave back the ticket and change to a woman by saying “yeh lo behen ji” (meaning take this sister), i was standing near by…. she retorted by saying “madam kaho” (call me madam)

    I suppose, they think if someone calls them “behen ji”, he is not sexually attracted to them which is an “insult” to their beauty… gals get your priorities right… you too are asking for sexual attraction instead of respect…

  67. christine permalink
    December 1, 2008 12:43 am

    Indian men are so lucky i don’t live in India- I carry a knife, and I have no fear of using it on anyone who dares touch me… I should move to India and teach woman some hand to hand defense classes . Woman need to stop crying on the side of the road and fight back- learn some skills or get a bottle of pepper spray, or tazer gun..these depraved idiots will start keeping their hands to themselves or suffer the consequences..

  68. bibin permalink
    December 27, 2008 4:40 pm

    its very bad culture…….

  69. Md Salih permalink
    January 11, 2009 3:01 pm

    Dear Yashie,

    This will happen not only on New Year, may be when you take your women anywhere in the city.
    How would you feel sitting at home during New years eve, dont you feel shame to say that, they are also women thay have thier right to enjoy the occassion.

    There must be some kind of rule like,even if there is no complaint filing from the victim, based on the photographs, police should be given the right to take action against all these perverts

    Forget about education, wonder these people ever thought of these things can happen to their family and beloved ones….

    Mob molestation is on rise and this has to be busted

    All supports to you

  70. Rosh permalink
    January 17, 2009 8:25 pm

    Hi there,

    I’m an indian girl, born and bred in Singapore..
    In Singapore, you can wear whatever you want, dance in crowded places, come home even at 4 a.m alone .. 26 Years here and I’ve not been teased or molested. The safest country for women. India, is entirely different.

    I’ve travelled to India 3 times with friends and family..
    When i was 13, we went to Punjab..

    Strangely, there were 2 queues, one for men and one for women to buy tickets. I hardly saw any single girls, mainly married woman ( very few compared to men, perhaps 1: 40)The men are openly leering and ogling at you.

    When the cinema gates opened, I was swept off my feet as the crowd of men and women entered the cinema.. 2 men reached for my breasts ( I was only 13 so you can imagine I had hardy anything!)
    and groped me. ANother man reached again and I bit his arm. I was in tears before I entered the cinema…. When I sat next to my father, i grabbed on to his jacket and refused to leave it.

    The 2nd time I went to a cinema in Punjab, I was made aware of a “family balcony”. This was a separate area for pple to view movies….This time I wa with a group of 20 teens and 3 locals and nothing happened to us. Of course, we went to get tickets, entered the cinema and left in our private van. Nervetheless, before entering the cinema, I saw the scores of men leering at us and teardrops fell down my cheeks… Luckily I was nowhere near them this time.

    Ive been to Agra, Delhi, Punjab, everywhere on 3 separate trips and I must say that unless you are chauffered in a nice van, you would not be safe.
    I was always covered up in traditional clothes, in jeans only in the cities when i was touring and not likely to be in crowded areas.

    I have met numerous tourists in India who choose to wear traditional outfits after being molested in India… They often share with us horror stories. Some are accompanied by males, even.

    I notice girls in modern areas of Delhi like South Ex mall dress up well and don’t seem to fear men. This is because they are chaufferred everywhere and only hang out in these Upper class areas. Hence, as long as you don’t visit Chandi Chowk or some market in Delhi, you have nothing to fear…

    I empathise with Indian Women living in india…
    You are either fortunate to be rich and protected or not so rich and you ahve to face Indian Men who shamelessly blatantly stare and try to grope you!

    I have always been accompanied by males on my trip to India, be it my father or close friends ( male and females) in a group. Yet I have on countless times avoided being groped, felt, pushed… I;m on super high alert always and manage to push away these yucky hands.

    India has great shopping and tourist sites but the government needs to stop the men from molestation. Or else no ones going there again.

    Thanks for sharing your experience Rosh. As you said, Indian women undergo this everyday of their lives, the only difference is that for them its a way life, always being alert. As for changing the attitude of the men, this can only happen through massive societal change and its not going to happen for another hundred years at least. – Nita.

  71. January 24, 2009 1:37 am

    I have a licensed Gun.

    Noone molests me.

    I am an architect, a constructor. I work with labor, with thekedars and many rouge people too.

    I never fear in villages and remote areas, because I have a gun. Its not like I never faced difficult situations at nights while returning home from some rural worksite. There are many rich brats out there on roads. I show them guts, I show them that I am living and not ragtagbag for them to jerk at on and throw their loads of the phallus.
    I show them, the gun I have.
    Some of my friends love their puppies and kitties, some of them love their bangles and bindis.
    Some of them love their bags purses and makeup kitties.

    I have gun, to love it. I got its license cos I need it. My work permits me to have it.

    But every other girl is unsafe there out, even at homes, even under their burqas and ghoonghats.

    I dont have any burqa any ghoonghat. i just have a gun!
    I know if I am caught in a group of sheeps by some terrorists like they did in Hotel taj or they did in front of Leonardo restaurant, I wont wait for them to kill people and me too.
    I have gun, i will oppose them. i will fight for my sanctity of life. I will fight for my grace against molesters and rapists. I will fight for my LIFE.
    I have gun., I am human.
    If I see a mad sucide bomber to blast the streets of jaipur where i spend my four best years, I wont sit quite. I will make them die. Afterall they are suicide bombers or killer bomb planters. I will try to save other innocent people from those anti-human beasts. I have gun I am responsible, lovable, careful and learned, I have got Gun right and Gun education!

    • Raj permalink
      December 15, 2010 1:37 pm

      Sab Thik Hai all mens are looking women as a sex object but i want one question to all girls sex object aap ladkiyo ko hum mardo ne nahi khud ladkiyo ne banaya hai .. kya ye such nahi hai ki aajkal ladkiya aajadi ke naam per college main sexy dress pahan kar aati ho … kam kapdo khud ko thik se dhaak nahi pati hai …. itney MMS baney kya usmey kisi ne balatkar dekha nahi sarey MMS aap ladkiyo ki rajamandi se hi huye hai…ye baat sahi hai ki ush din jo bhi hua wo bahut sharmnaak tha but karan wohi hai faishion k naam per nangapan… ishliye main isshey shirf ek reaction manuga

  72. Raka Biswas permalink
    January 29, 2009 11:38 pm

    Being born and brought up in Kolkata I have always felt that India is not a country for women. It is country full of vultures in the name of men, and women are the preys. I wont say every Indian man is like this, but 50% are like that and considering the population 50% is huge. Every Indian woman(child, young girl, older women) who cannot afford a car has been molested in their day to day lives. If you travel in a public bus they will touch you, or maybe do more. You can expect anything. You cant stop it, and you are molested so much that you forget how to protest and what it means to protest. You dont want to punish them, you just try to stay away but you cant as they are everywhere. You walk on the streets and they oogle at you no matter what you are wearing.
    The recent pub case in Mangalore is nothing but molestation of women by such men in the name of Hindutva. They accused the women of indecent clothing whereas the videos show normal jeans clad college girls been manhandled. They blame the pub and mall culture, unfortunately these are not cultures. A mall is not a culture, a pub was always there even in ancient Hindu India, and always will be there. These people just want to put their hands on women. Look at the rape rates and type of rapes in Indian. Even one month old baby girls are been raped. Nowhere in the world this happens. I have seen US and I live here now, but women are respected here. 50% of Indian men dont have any morality. Given a chance they can rape anyone any point in their lives.

    Sorry Indian guys I dont say all of you are sick, but if approached I doubt every Indian man.

  73. RamSena sucks permalink
    February 18, 2009 7:03 pm

    Hi guys ,

    I respect the fact that most of you girls here say that not all Indian men are like that . However, do bear in mind , that some western men can even be more perverted than the people you talk about . The cases of paedophilia et al in Europe make me sick . By the way , I live in Germany and have been here for quite some time . I do not think poverty is the problem . I think it has to do with how these men were brought up . Period . I would never think of molesting a woman even if I were drunk . Hell , I have had quite a few drinks and was approached by quite a few women who wanted casual sex during parties in Berlin . I never gave in . Those women may have thought I was gay but who cares. I just cannot have sex with someone I do not love . Now , before , you think I am praising myself here , let me get to the point . First of all , I think all rapists should be just shot to death . Period . The problem is that our politicians do not have the balls to implement this . Secondly , we should get rid of parties like Ram Sena et al who actually comprise men who have no jobs and who are frustrated. Most of these men just get a perverted high by beating up these women in the name of upholding culture . They talk about Indian morals or culture . What is Indian culture ? I would tell these crappy people to take a look at Khajuraho and read the Kamasutra. It is not like we Indians do not have sex.We breed like crazy .

    Finally , I think the problem is that these men have had no girlfriends or sex and they envy happy couples.

    These people just deserve to be shot . India could do without these losers.

  74. vasudev permalink
    February 18, 2009 11:35 pm

    @ above…
    let me trace indian culture for you. it is just a decade old. calls itself the it culture. blame premiji and murthy for spoiling the indian kids by putting india on the world map of itism. thank god it is soon coming to an end! there won’t be any extra money. youngsters would no more earn 20/30 grand min per month. engineers would go out of demand. iits would shut down. and we would all get back to our old indian culture where, when money wasn’t the sin maker girls and boys used to listen to parents (not to pub mates). indian culture is so weak that the west destroyed it practically: overnight!

    ram sene can be sneered at. what would you say to chaddi removing/chaddi sending modern ladies (does that belong to our culture or to western culture)? i would say: they openly declared themselves: wanton (as nisha and her friends admit very plainly). presently mutalik is in the winner position. his only purpose was to use these ladies as a stepping stone to famedom and politics that matter. he would forget them after maligning them one more time: draping their chaddiless torsos with pink sarees! (a good lesson for parents to learn). he would forget chaddis and pubs as quickly as advani and bjp forgot: ram!

  75. vasudev permalink
    February 18, 2009 11:43 pm

    a friend told me today about a report appearing in newspapers:
    this is how sex goes in india today:
    position no. 1: amongst colleagues!!!
    position no. 2: with workers (dunno what it means?)
    position no. 3: with relatives
    well: the last one isn’t new. only thing, no one ever told reporters nor did any news channel bother to record such maligning details.
    what does it all lead to? a foriegner lady told me playboy and sex magazines are kept in her drawing room for open reading. her children read. would i get a copy for my drawing room so that i need not explain the embarrassing details to my newly teened son?
    some years back a famous journalist wrote in the times: mothers who send children to schools must also remember to pack a condom in the tiffin box! she was pretty serious about it! i lambasted her in my reply to the editor. but i feel now: all the while she was right and i was wrong! india has reached that stage where schools would soon have to implement metal detectors: so that no child smuggles in a live pistol. for everything else progressively sexy and violent we are very close to the west and soon we shall turn back and sneer at them!

  76. RamSenasucks permalink
    February 19, 2009 7:51 pm


    I am not saying that having sex before marriage or with just about anyone is good but who are you or me or any crappy guy named Muthalik to tell how others should live .If you think something is wrong , do not do it but you cannot stop someone else from doing it as long as it does not harm you or anybody else saying you are doing it for preserving Indian culture . Stop blaming the west for everything . If you are conservative , keep it to yourself . Good for you if it is good that it is . You will surely find people of your kind in our hypocritical country . If you do not want to see naked ladies , don’t see them . If you think glancing through a playboy magazine is a sin , don’t do it . I can be my last dime though that you have in your right age done something similar to that . If you want to protect your children , teach them at home . You surely can have an opinion but it gets out of hand if you start talking with a holier than thou attitude and even worse when you try to force your opinion on others . Let the girls you talked about be wanton . What is your problem ?

  77. vasudev permalink
    February 20, 2009 4:39 pm

    @ above:
    i am not forcing my opinion down anybody’s throat. if i do not opine i would be like a : stone! no feelings/emotions/opinions…but, i like to express myself, as much as you do. take it or leave it. where is the problem? your name says ‘ramsenasucks’. now that is your opinion. am i complaining?

    as regards free living, it is only a thought till one is say, 30. beyond 30 the indian isn’t all that strong either physically or mentally to go for a totally carefree (the devil may care) sort of a life. indians are more built towards family than towards adventure. we cannot afford to ape the west. afterall the west is now walking towards spiritual search after having gone through a long period of turmoil which left many violent, single parent children. i would even suggest that large scale conversion in the west to hardcore, severely orthodox islam is only because they got fed up of softer christianity which gave them too much of a freedom…and now they do not want it.

    in balance we can live as a much freer society rather than invite the attention of the devil!

  78. Ramsenasucks permalink
    February 20, 2009 6:13 pm

    Vasudev ,

    Did you read my post properly ? I never said you were forcing your opinion down anyone’s throat and that is a good thing . However, you were blaming the west for what youngsters in India do . As if the west is all evil . Think for a while . How come you are not influenced by the west ? How come I am not influenced by the west ? So , those youngsters who sleep around or who behave like schlemiels have only themselves to blame . I have chose my screen name as Ramsenasucks because it does suck . So does all other right wing Hindu organizations , Christian fundamentalist organizations and Muslim fundamentalist organizations .

    How can you decide if Indians are not physically or mentally strong enough for a carefree life . This is the whole problem . You are trying to support your opinion with baseless theories. If an Indian man or a woman wants to live carefully , let them do so . It is all in the mind . You say Indians are more built towards family than adventure . Did God tell you this when he built Indians ? Do not get me wrong . I am not attacking you but just that I find some of your theories baseless. You have an opinion and I have a counter opinion . That is all . I am not saying the western way of life is good . I find it quite parochial though they call deem our way of life parochial . You know what baffles me is how for example ,they criticize our systems but at the same time they are just being hypocritical . Let me elaborate . They talk about arranged marriages in bad light . Have you seen their reality shows ? Where a guy would kiss a girl or sleep with a girl and say I love you in less than 30 minutes . So hypocritical , don’t you think ? Not that I support arranged marriages but come on , if it works for some people , what is wrong with it . I found my wife on my own though . Christianity is not soft actually . It can be as devastating as Islam . I am not saying the religion is bad but people have committed so many atrocities in the name of Christianity. It is just that it has been more accommodating of late or rather the religion allows for more accommodations.You talk about many people converting to Islam . Most of the recent converts are blacks and many of them convert while serving time . It is not because they hate Christianity . It is because they feel they are oppressed , and relate Christianity with whites .The Islamic fundamentalists take advantage of this so that they can continue their Jihad against the world . In my opinion , Islamic fundamentalists are the greatest threat to society . Taliban is associated with Islamic fundamentalists and organizations like Ram Sena remind me of Taliban though their ideology is different and we do not want any of them here .

  79. vasudev permalink
    February 20, 2009 11:52 pm


  80. vasudev permalink
    February 20, 2009 11:54 pm

    Dear RSS

    (Sorry! but the other name is too improper and this short form is gonna make you mad)

    i am in total agreement with you on many of your views, especially the one about relative influence over people of relative climates.

    but what you said about the reasons why people convert to islam in the west really got me sitting-up and thinking.

    believe me…what i had opined before was just my own logical conclusion and wasn’t based on any theories or hard facts, except what my mind threw out at me.

    you wanted facts. so i decided to google a bit on why people converted to islam in …germany (your place).

    and here is a link. please go through. i think the author supports my statement.

    a paragraph is pasted here within brackets:

    [It’s hard to find a common denominator for what exactly makes Islam so attractive to people from a Christian background. Salim Abdullah speaks of “defiant reactions” in the face of the constant criticism brought against Islam, although he’s also familiar with converts who appreciate the “clear rules for behavior” provided by the Koran. Lühr, who always carries a prayer mat in the trunk of his Alfa Romeo GT, laments the “decline in values” that Western society, in his view, has suffered: “In Islam, values still count for something,” he says.]

    i too agree with you that we cannot have religious fanatics breathing down our necks but talibans would then rise when we are guilty ourselves of not upholding the social moral values and becoming good examples to our successor generations. (or course you and i aren’t like that but we both have a moral responsibility to correct the path of the wayward)

    unable to post the link

  81. RamSenasucksreal bad permalink
    February 24, 2009 2:00 pm

    Hi Vasudeva

    It is an insult to me that you used the word RSS to address me . he he

    You said you were looking for facts . You said you checked for facts on the internet . What you found again were not facts but opinions my friend . You forgot that . Salim Abdullah is a Muslim . Morals eh ? Beating women in public is moral eh ? Asking a woman to have four male witnesses to prove rape is moral , eh ? Come on , get real and give me a break .

    The problem with Islam is that many people who follow it take it literally and are very unaccommodating . Why is that women in countries with Muslim majorities do not have as much freedom as women in countries with Christian majorities . Why is that countries with Christian values or majorities are usually very powerful and you know which is the most powerful country in the world , don’t you ?

    You must have know why I used countries with Christian majorities instead of Christian countries because there are no Christian countries because almost all countries with Christian majorities are secular .

    Why is that most countries with Muslim majorities do not recognize any other religion or allow others from other religions to proselytize . I have lived in an Arab country for 12 years . I have been to almost 20 countries mate . I am not boasting but I know how many Muslims are . So , just because some schlemiels give their opinion about why people are converting to Islam does not make it a fact.

    Do your research yourself . Go , check of the recent converts to Islam in the USA for example , how many were convicts ? You will see my point .

    So , please think twice before you think that people convert to Islam because morals still count for something . It is the contrary . They force you to follow . Also , do read about how they have started their Jihad by trying to convert as many people and how some of their men are encouraged to lure women from other religions . Read mate , read.

    Don’t just read bits and pieces and come to a conclusion . I respect your opinion though but I will always refute them if they are totally wrong as they were in the passage above.

    However, I am happy that you do not seem like a greenhorn in that you can take criticism as a man would take it . Good to know that you are not a fanatic too . Groups like the Taliban have no excuse to even come up because they are not really coming to uphold moral values . But , because they want power and think religion is the best way to go about it just like the crappy Ram Sena and the crappy RSS

    Do you know Prince ? He is another example of Christians who are fundamentalist. You must know how much havoc his organization has caused, right ?

  82. Matt permalink
    February 24, 2009 3:57 pm

    I meant go check about *

  83. Matt permalink
    February 24, 2009 3:58 pm

    I meant go check about the recent converts *

  84. sunil kumar 27yrs old permalink
    March 11, 2009 3:41 pm

    @ Nita… I am totally shocked to see this article… you are absolutely right “Pornography, which is now freely available on the internet has just whetted their appetite.” … I respect woman…

  85. Abdullah K. permalink
    June 14, 2009 7:38 pm

    @ guqin – “People in USA (where I am now) are open with sexuality, in high school or even middle school, but sex related crimes are still very high in that country.”

    US is still more on the sexually puritan side than ‘open’, except perhaps when compared to India and other highly conservative countries. Sex in US schools is a lot hyped up than it usually is, thanks to the massive commercialisation of sexuality.
    Sexual frustration does breed a lot of sadistic and violent criminals. One has to look the the profiles of serial killers and suicide bombers to spot the pattern. I could give a personal anecode to illustrate this point too, but for reasons of privacy I’d hold off for a while.

    @ Indian Girl – “Is carrying pepper spray illegal in India? I think a woman has a right to defend herself. “

    It is an issue of debate, since there is no way to ensure that robbers don’t use this method to decapacitate innocent people and make a dash with their belongings.
    @ Sandip – Couldn’t have put it better. I’m glad to see that there are some Indians who are less in denial and more open to seeing things for what they really are.

    @ stud.boy99 – “gals get your priorities right… you too are asking for sexual attraction instead of respect”

    Is respect reserved only for girls who one is *not* sexually attracted to? Sounds like sexual regressiveness to me.

    @ vasudev – “i would even suggest that large scale conversion in the west to hardcore, severely orthodox islam”

    ..while at the same time, an equally ‘large scale’ conversion in going on among people of orthodox Islam in the ‘east. People are moving away from Islam because they are fed up with the violent hatred and hardcore negativity preached in Islam. I can see from this remark why you seem to support Rama Sene. I’m sure you’d have a model Taliban, if you were born in Afghanistan two decades ago.

  86. veer permalink
    June 29, 2009 1:35 am

    If a troublesome eve teaser’s or molester’s head is cut off as a form of well deserved punishment, I swear 40% of groping and other ill instances would decrease. The fact that these instances go unnoticed, is only degrading the image of women further in India. All pornography sites should be banned, and stricter laws introduced. Probably more quality society-oriented education might also help?

  87. July 9, 2009 2:02 pm

    I’m tired of seeing those things & hearing bad word about girls.being a guy of 23 I feel shame when i saw my frnd also.I dont even try to help them but what about others.pls help me bcoz i feel helpless in this world.

  88. Sandeep Singh permalink
    August 17, 2009 7:48 am


    m sandeep singh maan frm states i’ve jst surfing here when i was saw this news it;s very sad for the lady u r rit they r mean and son of bitch they never respect a lady.beside that govt have take some strict action for this things.

  89. Jeeva permalink
    December 3, 2009 12:11 am

    oh yeah……lets all keep grieving and not doing anything abt this……….duh………instead of waiting for the police to help or lodging a complaint, we must catch those culprits wherever we see and thrash them so hard that they should shiver at the thought of trying to molest.

    We being in India, cannot expect moral values and law enforcement to keep us safe nowadays especially at the rate our country is losing its culture in the name of westernisation and dating and stuff, the guys who are not able to be with gals, would do such nasty stuff. Its the responsibility of the total society to make a hard move on these guys now and to bring up their children properly and to vote for a government which can save them from all such problems, instead of being “liberal”…………as even with the terrorists, even after seeing what they did to our country for 2 days at a stretch………and sitting and begging the neighboring country to accept its guilt.

  90. dudeflick permalink
    December 7, 2009 4:54 pm

    I think we should make our own group and catch these people, punish them with breaking their hands and legs.

  91. Lauth permalink
    December 27, 2009 6:36 pm

    Thank you, continue sharing your thoughts, thus enriching your readers.

  92. Abhinaba Basu permalink
    May 25, 2010 2:42 pm

    I have seen the same kind of thing in Brigade Road, 31st jan night 2008. I just dont want to explain it, still I feel irritated.

  93. george mathew permalink
    November 8, 2010 3:09 pm

    just wonder how people do this kind of stuff

  94. raven permalink
    November 17, 2010 3:13 pm

    one thing that i noticed is that the implementation of reservation in metro train for girls( the first compartment usually) must have decreased some of the trauma. but again a society without having to opt for reservation ( and of course forceful implementation) for girls in everything is an ideal scenario. till then i think reservation ( however distasteful it sounds to proponents of credibility) definitely will help to empower indian women. at the backdrop one must understand sex education, greater creative interaction between both sexes right from school( be it in villages, towns and cities), stricter laws regarding net pornography( like u have to login using your unique citizen ID no and code) , television and print material will go a long way to infuse a sense of reflex abstinence from female harrasement.

  95. alias permalink
    April 19, 2011 8:02 am

    Well all these things are karma and it is what happens cause of last life so do not feel sadness or anger cause everything is in GODs hands!

  96. sayed permalink
    March 13, 2012 12:33 am

    I think your suggestion is excellent. Every single day we should have a woman write about her experience in a daily newspaper. Going to regional newspapers is important as one has to reach out to the masses. Television is also a very important medium. If a woman talks about how horrible she feels when she is treated as a sex object it might sensitize some men.

  97. naomi in delhi permalink
    April 30, 2012 4:31 am

    face it, indian men are rapists and molesters, not only in india but all the way from sydney to singapore, some wrong genetically, it can be seen now that the indian pervert madness has come to chicago night clubs, and according to my cousin even irish pubs, sad to see indian people being branded as criminals world over, it’s the truth nevertheless.

  98. July 27, 2012 11:40 am

    Let me tell you why these horny bastards molest/rape women in India? They donot have a place here to let their steam out. In foreign countries if a man is horny he can pay for sex. But here, with the pseudo-morality code these animals have no outlets. Even their hands must be full of caluses. Castrate the sons of bitches the hard painful way. Then theywill learn a lesson.


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