Molestation: Reasons and some solutions
For some time now I have been thinking of highlighting some points from comments on my molestation posts (1 and 2) as about 200 comments tried to shed light on the issue. Many of them I think are not my regular readers. I have picked those comments which gave a reason as to why molestation happens and comments which offered a solution. I have taken tiny excerpts from the comments and anyone wanting to read the complete comment can click on the link given.
(Added later: By molestation I do not mean rape. I mean brushing against a woman, touching her in a crowd etc. According to the dictionary meaning, molestation can mean forcing unwanted sexual attention on somebody and/or to pester/annoy. Ofcourse at least half of these comments were written in reaction to a molestation incident which got out of hand and became a sexual assault and we have to keep that in mind when we read some of the solutions offered.)
These are some reasons offered to explain why molestation happens:
- scipio said:
If you ask me, one of the main reasons such stuff happens is coz the average Indian male just can’t accept the fact that women are their equals (in every way). Indian movies stand guilty of encouraging such behavior.
- Supporter of girlpower said:
I don’t think those men act like that because of being poor. In Nepal, they are also poor, but most men are very respectfull to women.
- Ron said:
The reason is a deadly cocktail of prudishness and promiscuity. Sexual scenes in films are acceptable only if they project rape! it’s shocking for a couple to kiss on screen while the heroine’s sister has been gangraped since 1970 without any let-up.
- Saravi said:
I would first blame the parents or guardians of these idiots. It is from our parents that we learn what is gud and bad.
- krsnakhandelwal said:
Moral fabric of the nation has been shattered because of masses shifting out of their ancestral places and who have become faceless to do such things.
- Kumar Pv said:
when i went to states or united kingdom i saw that all these western teenagers or men within the age group of 20-28 have had multiple relationships and have understood all the aspects of a woman. whereas asians of the same age just wonder looking at them thinking what wrong have they done no to be blessed even with a single women in their life. infact nearly 60 percent of indian men age group 20-28 have not had a single kissing experience…in india where nearly 60 percent of men lose their virginity while in their 30s when their testosterone levels has declined is only going to contribute toward more eve teasing or rape.
- noumankhan said:
Most Indian men don’t seem to notice the line between flirting/hitting on someone and stalking/harassing someone clearly uninterested and that is extremely sad.
- Sahil said:
Men being Men now (and Indian men are among the most virile men on Earth), they seriously don’t have anywhere to express their outlet to such repressed emotions. So the “best” they can do is hang out in crowds of 8-10 and make lewd comments on passing women. our Victorian prudery in Indian society is the number one reason eve-teasing problem exists in India. The North-Eastern states have practically no eve-teasing because their culture promotes healthy habits of sex.
- KK said:
The only way attitude of men will change is that women stop treating themselves as sex objects. I know not all women treat themselves as sex objects, but then not all men are perverts…
- sapna said:
I think somewhere we are also responsible for such molestation.On the 31st December many are in drunken condition so we should not wear such dresses which will attract others to you.
- Amlan Dutta said:
The Indian male has always been a sexually frustrated one…hell I myself didn’t have a g.f till I was 24 … never kissed till I was 25…and lost my cherry at 28 heh heh… but thats the way it is for most of us Indian guys.
- SM said:
It is independent of race, religion or color. So, therefore no one community or section of society can be blamed. – I work for a MNC in Mumbai and I have seen CEOs, VPs and peons / office boys behave like this at company parties…The keywords here are attitude and social consciousness: The reason most people will not reduce themselves to behaving this way is because of a positive attitude and a social consciousness. I never had a strong parental upbringing, neither did my friends, and we pretty much learned right from wrong ourselves. So stop blaming the parents. They play an important part in our lives no doubt, but they can only do so much.
- subhradip said:
The single most important reason for incidents like this are … LACK of ACCOUNTABILITY.. guess what.. we write and protest all when shit like this happens, but lets ask yourself… whats the animal inside us … if we were one among those 60 savage animals, would we have too went ahead and participate in that act ???
- Rohit said:
All this is to be blamed on the earlier generations and their stupid mentality of separating both sexes. Taboo on talking about sex or anything remotely related to it or hiding love affairs. I think it is way too much control. Whenever you try to suppress people from expressing themselves, they will get frustrated and vent out through some other medium. Please note that i am not justifying those molesters.
- Aarnika Tiwari said:
The root cause may not be so sex-starved men in India. There are just too many people, without work, obvious interest is peek nose into other’s business, and talk about some phantomlike great culture of keeping 50% population almost away from sunlight and even after sunset, just for being a women. There are crimes happening against women all over the world. But in India, that attitude of “I have no work now, got lot of time, why not go for eve-teasing?” is generally acceptable, even promoted in Hindi films, especially since 1980s.
- Smruti said:
Movies and TV are also the CULPRIT # 1! The heroines themselves live in guarded houses and travel by private cars but what they portray on screen, we women on the street have to suffer every day. The entertainment people need to be corrected first.
- ravikiran said:
The reason i think is beacuse that is the only way a male can get the attention of a female in India. They are not allowed to meet or have fun. So eve teasing follows. A LOT of successful love stories in India start with eve teasing.
Normally if you say shut up strongly they leave you alone.
- Rajni said:
It not the question of what kind of clothes you wear or what make-up you wear or even what age you are. It doesn’t matter to an animal who just looks at a female as a object to abuse.
These are the solutions that have been proposed:
- Harit said:
I think women need to be more equipped to fight abusers. Carrying a loud personal alarm that attracts attention is a method used in several western countries. Ads need to go out on television educating women on how to deal with these situations.
- Prash said:
The Indian judicial system should come down heavily on these ‘psychos’. Fear of severe punishment should be so be etched in their minds, so that they would not ..ever, think of doing it…In fact they should be flogged/lashed in public.
- krishna said:
That molester should be hungout like Sadam Husen. Ladies should get chance to walk as their wish.
- saumya said:
…u need to a male to terrify another male..and the problem is not jus a criminal one, its a social one and needs a lot of social sensitisation and almost revolutionising male mentality.
- syed raafeuddin ahmed said:
…and hence i am a supporter of death penalties like here in saudi arabia. Behead some of those criminals in public and all the things will be alright in just 6 or 8 months…. also girls should not intermingle with men because there is a devil in man … all are beasts.
- Anil said:
In my view this will go a long way then commercialising pepper spray, why not button knife or stungun.
- Sue said:
If you follow some basic guidelines — always carry enough cash for a cab ride home, telephone cab number to the place you are going (loud enough for cabbie to hear), wear appropriate clothing (i.e. covered legs mostly and not very low necks, although this is not necessary in some areas), don’t take a cab with more than one person in front, be prepared to scream if hassled in public transport etc. really, stuff you would do in any city…
- vasukrishnan said:
I think we should have a regular column in newspapers describing the plight of our women. After reading the stories repeatedly people who don’t think or talk about the problem might just start to do that….Every father and mother should talk to their kids about this. We have to make the boys realize that girls are human beings too. Trying to make them learn that once they are men is going to be difficult.
- DC Vaz said:
This is Why I support the DEATH Penalty. They should hang these guys who have no shame about thier Mothers.
- rawal said:
Pictures of the accused should be broadcast in media with address and names…
- starsiege said:
the punishment for crimes like these should be life imprisonment without parole
- Manoj said:
Only if the women are courageous to open their tops and show everything to the staring person and give a shock treatment, only then this menance will stop. It is the non verbal communication of the sex starved person so you have to deal with it.
- Kenneth said:
…the family of the men who did this should disown them. A public apology should be made in front of the entire nation.
- Amlan Dutta said:
Please don’t blame pornography for molestation…I think legal porn would be some sort of release, and also legalising prostitution.
Such varied and diverse opinions! I haven’t done justice to all, because the main idea was to avoid clutter. One thing that emerges strongly from these opinions is that sexual repression is an important cause. I think it could be too. Women being looked upon as sex objects cannot be a cause, because even if a man does see a woman as a sex object (or she sees herself as one) that is no reason to molest her. Any rational human being has to admit that even a prostitute or a bar dancer has dignity and one should touch her only with her permission.
Why should a woman who is to all eyes a normal woman going about her work be molested then? It cannot be because she is seen as a piece of meat, for the above reason. It cannot be because she is wearing a bikini because then all the men in the west would be busy playing Mr. Grab and Mr. Grope. It cannot be because the woman represents a certain class because a molester can be from her own class.
So what is the reason then? In my view an underlying cause is deep sexual repression. Isn’t sex a primal human need? But then everyone does not behave the same way if they are sexually starved. Finally it boils down to the character of the person. Plus, no fear of punishment. Here is what mariacristina said:
They say you can judge the character of a person by how he behaves when alone, and I would add how he behaves when under the cover of a huge crowd.
How many us would commit a crime if we knew that no one would ever find out? It’s not just molestation, it could be rape, it could be cheating, lying, stealing…anything that we dare not do because of a fear of being found out.
Any other views/disagreements welcome…