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Kidnap Review

October 6, 2008

If you want to learn how not to make a movie perhaps you should see Kidnap. Or perhaps if you want to have a good laugh at the film, you should see Kidnap. It is indeed a very funny movie, although the director, Sanjay Gadhvi, intended it to be a dark movie, a thriller. But alas, the result is comic.

There is this scene where the kidnapped girl Sonia (Minissha Lamba) begs her kidnapper Kabir (Imran Khan) to grant her just one wish. After all she has been imprisoned in a hellhole (she thinks, but to me looks more like a bachelor’s very comfortable pad fitted with bathtub) and that too with limited water supply. She promises Kabir that she will listen to everything he says and do whatever he wants if he will grant her one wish! We all wait with bated breath to hear what it is…she says: “Give me enough water to have a bath”!
And no, this isn’t a joke. It’s a serious request, and the kidnapper purses his lips, pondering whether or not to grant her wish!

This movie is not just about a kidnap. It’s also about Minissha’s body. Clearly she has worked hard  to get the hour glass figure which the director takes pains to show at every opportunity. Sonia’s kidnapper Kabir has stocked his den with the most expensive and skimpy designer outfits specially bought for his victim. So while he is not busy cooking for her, he is busy watching her body. But if you think that Kabir the kidnapper is rich, perish the thought! When she offers to wash up he tells he cannot allow it as she might break a glass and the poor boy that he is, he won’t be able to afford a replacement! A glass for gods sake!

It was at times like these that the audience burst out laughing. We were laughing and commenting almost throughout the movie, busy poking fun at the antics of the characters or at the stupid things they said.

There are also some needless item numbers in the movie.

The actors
Sanjay Dutt plays Vikrant Raina, a rich industrialist divorced from his wife (Vidya Malvade). A lot of reviews have mentioned that the mother daughter duo are mismatched and I agree. They look a few years apart… but I can’t make up mind whether Vidya Malvade looked too young to be a mother of a twenty year old…or whether Minissha looks too old to play her daughter. I think both!

Where acting is concerned the less said the better, and that includes the anti-hero – Imran Khan. It’s hard to picture this man as a bitter ex-convict. So hard that it’s laughable.

Nothing good to say?
I cannot find anything good to say about this movie. The screenplay is poor, the acting below average, the casting terrible, the cinematography and sets below average. But wait…the theme isn’t bad. The movie is about how young people can be wrongly convicted and how their suffering in jail can turn them into hardened criminals. And on the other hand there are other (often wealthy) individuals who commit worse crimes but get away scot-free. Noble theme but poorly executed.

Related Reading: Drona Review
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28 Comments leave one →
  1. October 6, 2008 11:05 pm

    There goes my one vacation (3 days holidays) plan down the drain!!! I thought the movie will atleast be average if not exceptional. Looks like its rock bottom. Sigh! BTW how’s Imraan looking in it? 😉

    reema, imran is looking good, although not like a kidnapper. And do see it for some time-pass, I enjoyed myself! 🙂 – Nita.

  2. October 6, 2008 11:46 pm

    If failed attempts at movie making become so funny, I am beggining to get worried about the seroius competition my blog will face in times to come!

  3. October 6, 2008 11:50 pm

    Guess I should avoid this one!

  4. October 7, 2008 12:53 am

    Bath water eh. I guess that is a serious enough request. I might have demanded a playstation though. I saw hellboy 2 this week and it was rather disappointing as well. Did you see it Nita?

  5. October 7, 2008 1:29 am

    Bad movie 😦 saw it yesterday & that too in a multiplex, this onez not worth watching even in single screen theater 😦 I want my money back. Imran should be careful with the kind of movies he does.

  6. October 7, 2008 1:42 am

    hahahaha, really? this is a movie with that Imran Khan?? 😛

    //We were laughing and commenting almost throughout the movie, busy poking fun at the…
    listen listen… I got rapped by you when I said that in my movie meme few months back. I see that you enjoy it too! 😛

  7. October 7, 2008 2:05 am

    Nita, that is an excellent review 🙂
    I believe it is often so in life, if something is too bad, we`d better laught at it.

  8. October 7, 2008 2:28 am

    Minisha looks too old, IMHO… I’ve seen the promos of this movie and felt, Imran doesn’t fit the role of a kidnapper… He has childish looks as in Jaane Tu..

  9. October 7, 2008 7:21 am

    Nita..I think In a four paragraph review of the movie, one is dedicated to the body of the leading lady, I guess we can figure out what the movie is made up of :)…

  10. October 7, 2008 8:20 am

    Nita I liked this movie , what else were you expecting from a bollywood masala movie , it was a good time pass .

  11. October 7, 2008 8:37 am

    Gopinath, 🙂

    Dineshbabu, good idea!

    Rahul, now I am having serious doubts about this Imran. He is no patch on his uncle Aamir. I remember Aamir when he was new, he was brilliant!

    Odzer, we wanted to see hellboy but the show was too late, so we saw this one! I am sure hellboy would have been better but anyway as it isn’t that good guess I haven’t missed much.
    About the playstation, yeah! Only ‘poor” boy Kabir would say he couldn’t afford it…but no problem…one just needs to ask the director! 🙂

    Axinia, yeah, I guess that way one smiles one way through life!

    Priyank, yeah, that is the jaane tu Imran. Sad! 😦 And hey, there are exceptions when it comes to commenting. It’s fine as long as our own gang does it! 😉

    Rambler, the movie was meant to titillate audiences.

    Manasa, I too felt that Minissha looks like she is in her late twenties. Not suited for this role.

    Veresh, I too enjoy bollywood masala movies. For example I enjoyed Singh is kingg and said so. If one compares this movie to a bollywood masala movie, then this gets 2 marks out of 10. I guess being a woman I do not enjoy show of flesh. In fact unnecessary show of flesh is irritating. This was not a movie about a prostitute!

  12. October 7, 2008 8:56 am

    When I say “I liked movie” it doesn’t mean flesh … Kidnap had good story , good thrill especially the last sequence where Imran ask Sanjay to shot , the puzzles , idea of Imran keeping hostage in her house et. al.
    I think it is just taste , I like thriller , fast pace movies.

    Veresh, thriller movie are my favourite genre! But as you said, whether one likes a movie or not is very subjective. – Nita.

  13. vivekmittal permalink
    October 7, 2008 9:42 am

    Oh i was planning to watch this one..i thought it must be a good thriller…

  14. October 7, 2008 10:33 am

    thankx..was thinking about watching it!!!

  15. October 7, 2008 10:50 am

    I was wondering whether to try to watch this movie, but now all that intention is safely buried.

  16. October 7, 2008 10:59 am

    /* This movie is not just about a kidnap. It’s also about Minissha’s body. Clearly she has worked hard to get the hour glass figure which the director takes pains to show at every opportunity. Sonia’s kidnapper Kabir has stocked his den with the most expensive and skimpy designer outfits specially bought for his victim. So while he is not busy cooking for her, he is busy watching her body. */

    its been a long time in bollywood,where a movie has been about something else.It is so boring,frankly,as a teenager,the category who are supposedly to love this,i can’t….its just stupid,maybe that is why there are so many joining Shiv Sena ,etc….too much of all this is bad too…

    Vishesh, I need to clarify one thing. I am not at all against exposure of flesh in movies but I am very critical of movies which show unnecessary things. For example needless violence, needless songs, needless sex or needless anything. A movie needs to show what the story dictates. That is what makes a movie interesting and entertaining. A little masala may add spice but too much ruins the movie. – Nita.

  17. chirax permalink
    October 7, 2008 11:29 am

    Nita, Time again you reinforce my decision of not watching a Hindi movie unless I am sure its not cheap stunts, rip off, remake or toilet comedy.

    Last hindi movie I saw was Tare Zameen Pe. Now I only want UK or some times US movies.

  18. October 7, 2008 11:48 am

    Lucky Me ! I was almost gonna watch this movie..
    Instead I watched ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ at my home (again!)

  19. chirax permalink
    October 7, 2008 12:50 pm

    @Tarun: Shawshank Redemption is my fav movie

  20. October 7, 2008 1:15 pm

    Imran doesnt look like a convict. May be they should have asked someone else to take the role.

    I read an interview on one of the newspapers where the director described Imrans role as ‘If Jaane Tu was Kashmir, then this is Kanyakumari’ Very different.
    So he only said its different, never said that its good 🙂

  21. October 7, 2008 1:19 pm

    LOL @ the first line..
    i was thinking the movie might be interesting but now after reading this i will avoid it

  22. October 7, 2008 1:58 pm

    Thanks for saving my money!! 🙂

  23. Goods permalink
    October 7, 2008 11:20 pm

    NEways, I hardly like indian movies, but thought this wasn’t bad. You’ve got to give credit where it is due. If the attitude while watching a movie is to identify the gaffa’s… (how the hell do I make fun of this).. then I can think of many even while watching well hollywood movies.

    Let’s see:
    1. Vidya as Manisha’s mom… did u forget that she had a child at 17/18, as per the script. … Now does that make her 34/35? Do you drool over Angelina? If so do you know how old she is?

    2. Unexplained designer outfits…. the guys say he’s planned it for over 3 months.. makes her stay in her own vacation home…. what are the chances that her mom’s old clothes would suit her? hmm… not a chance? Well, how about the first few scenes in the house, where some new clothes are lying around with tags..? May be unexplained….

    3. Imran looking too friendly…. isn’t that the thought the director wants to communicate? a hardened criminal… that really isn’t by nature… it is circumstantial, and because of softness… the movie keeps you guessing till the last minute.

    4. Poor boy kabir… that was statement, perhaps I don’t agree with. However, in the movie it so happens, that the guys is hell bent on fixing things broken previously….. so under the circumstances.. it is best to ignore it… like we do many other things.

    5. The theather I went must be alien… or perhaps it had all like minded individuals… everyone was paying attention till the last minute, not a la Alfred Hitchcock style.. but certainly a good Hindi Movie style.

    My recommendation: If you were planning to watch the movie, go decide for yourself. This review seems a little too biased for me. At the end of the Day, you decide.

  24. October 8, 2008 7:21 pm

    i think now a days we want to watch movies only because of the hype built up around em ,pre-release,i even thought kidnap’s marketing was lame,sanjay gadhvi failed to cash on his post-Dhoom image..

  25. October 11, 2008 8:10 pm

    Lol..very true review..I watch almost all crappy movies,but couldn’t see it after half an hour..Quit the effort..The lastest boring-skipped attempt was Drona..I think Kidnap would rate better..I am glad i threw away the hang over by watching Mumbai meri jaan..I read ur review..But I disagree.Characters are not at all overhyped..They leave footprints in your heart and thoughts..Its a must watch movie..

    Err,sorry commenting out of scope..Im bit busy..Gotta go..bye..

  26. October 11, 2008 8:29 pm

    cool reading it. very interesting as well.

  27. October 16, 2008 4:53 pm

    I like the movie.It didn’t make me bore.Songs r sucks.

  28. November 9, 2008 4:38 am

    thats exactly what I felt…..Uff…what is happening to bollywood’s fashion yaar…here I say, Indians are that we are like this….and Uff what a horrible dressing for the movie!!! no context, no use, no importance and still could not hit with mny i guess!! shud have read your review before I decided to see the movie Uff…

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