The culture vultures hate pre-marital sex
The reason why the culture vultures protest against Valentine’s Day is because they feel that Valentine’s Day is a celebration of sex, not love. And to them sex before marriage is immoral and always casual. But it’s futile getting into a moral debate about pre-marital sex. Neither the moral police nor anyone else can stop it. The fact of the matter is that the average Indian is not marrying at 14 or even 18, and it’s stupid to assume that if marriage is postponed, sex will be postponed as well…given the fact that the human species reaches sexual maturity in the late teens.
If the culture vultures think that the frequency of pre-marital sex (let’s not call it casual sex) has gone up in the urban areas, darned right it has. Any collegian will tell you that pre-marital sex has become more common over the last decade or so and in fact a recent three-year study of male college students in Maharashtra by the Family Planning Association of India confirmed this. Collegians are now “more likely to have sex with friends, classmates, neighbours and relatives rather than visit commercial sex workers.” The frequency of visiting CSWs reduced from 23% in 2004 to 3% in 2008.
I can only think of this as a good trend, not bad. Going to prostitutes is more risky from the point of view of getting diseases like AIDS, and also it can also make men feel a little guilty. In any case no one likes paying for sex.
This survey also point to another thing…that more women (who are not sex workers) are having sex. Now you can guess why the moral vultures are so outraged. It’s not men who are having sex, but women too! As long as pre-marital sex is restricted to young men and prostitutes they can tolerate it, but not if young women behave the same way as the men.
In any case it’s going to be a long time before Indians catch up with the west when it comes to sexual mores. The moral vultures can take comfort in the fact that the way things are now, most Indians, particularly from the rural areas do tend to think that premarital sex is immoral. The changes in rural sexual mores will be slower, and this would partly be due to the fact that rural youth tend to marry earlier than urban youth. A 2004 study among 1,500 rural college students (800 male and 700 female) in Maharashtra’s Thane district showed that that not only do most of the youth disapprove of pre-marital sex, they feel it is more wrong for females to indulge in it.
That Indians still lose their virginity much later than people from other countries is borne out by another survey, the 2007 Face of Global Sex Report by Durex. The report says that on an average an Indians are 22 years old when they lose their virginity. Indians are second only to the Malaysians (23 years) when it comes to being the oldest to lose their virginity. Those in Singapore do it by the time “they’re 22.8 years old, the Chinese wait till they’re 22.1, Thais till 20.5, those in Hong Kong till 20.2, while the Japanese do it at a young 19.4 years”. Overall, in Asian countries sex happens at an older age as compared to the west.
Austrians were the first to lose their virginity at 17.3 years old, followed by Brazilians (17.4), Germans (17.6), New Zealanders (17.8), Australians (17.9) and Americans (18.0).
The moral police better sit up and listen…the writing is on the wall. Young Indians are gradually going to shed their inhibitions and start to do it at younger and younger ages. Men will feel less of a need to go to prostitutes…and will do it with their girl-friends instead. I don’t understand why the moral vultures cannot see this as a celebration of love, not sex! An encounter with a sex worker is purely about sex, but a sexual encounter with a girl-friend need not be. In fact there is every reason to believe that street molestation will decrease as men who find it impossible to go to sex workers will be able to find fulfillment with their girl-friends as sexual mores relax.
And whether the couples are being “immoral” or not is best left to the couples’ own morality and sense of right or wrong. What the couples need to be taught is how to prevent unwanted pregnancies, the knowledge of which is mostly inadequate. In this scenario I was rather shocked to hear some moral police on a television talk show rant and rave against an ipill advertisement Teenagers are going to have sex f they want to, whether they know about the ipill or not. In fact unprotected sex is on the rise and this is what we need to prevent.
We also need to prevent street molestation. Rest assured that the moral culture vultures will never protest against street molestation because they are more scandalised, shocked and outraged if a woman consents, rather than if she is forced. Can you imagine them dragging out boys and men who are teasing and molesting women from a public bus, dragging them out by the hair, pushing and punching them? I can’t.
(Photo is copyrighted to me)
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